Bonding With Baby

[*crikey*mate*]

Back in the days when Moses was born, mothers gave birth and then the newborn was taken to the nursery to stay. (in most cases). Family and partners etc got to peek through a glass window when they came to visit. I'm not sure though if the mum got to be with the baby 24/7 or not, but it is my understanding they only saw the baby at feeding and changing time. (happy to be corrected if I am wrong)

Now fast forward to now, where it is deemed absolutely imperative that a mother "bond" with her newborn in the first few days/weeks following birth. In most cases,  Mum and baby stay in the same room 24/7 kind of thing.

So now I'm wondering of this new generation of babies who have had the benefit of this bonding are any better emotionally than those from a bygone era? Are they more stable as adults than previous generations? Were kids from "back then" loved any less than their modern counterparts?

How exactly do the different generations compare considering the different ideologies in their birth and "bonding" experiences in those first few weeks of life?

[Anonymous]

Same crystal !

[nevynreally]

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

I think the research is based on brain studies showing the primal euphoria that mothers (and fathers) feel immediately after the birth.

But much of the research is muddy because brain patterns would naturally go haywire after going through/witnessing something like a birth. Most critics of the bond-at-birth theory suggest spikes on a brain scan graph do not = bonding.

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It doesn't consider the fact that some grandparents bond with their grandchildren, and some never really do.

Any information can be twisted to make it what you want it to be.

[*elizabeths-mum*]

I thought I bonded before birth and was convinced I was having a girl, then when he was born (10 1/2pounds, vaginally with forceps after 36 hours) all I could think was, all that work for a boy! It didn't take long to bond with the real person once we had a chance. 🙂

[*crikey*mate*]

FTR folks, when I mentioned Moses in the OP, I didn't literally mean moses and THAT far back, I was trying to be politically correct and not say "in the old days" *blush*

just trying not to offend anyone.

I guess I meant the generation/s immediately prior to the modern bonding ideology.

[*crikey*mate*]

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@*elizabeths-mum* wrote:
I thought I bonded before birth and was convinced I was having a girl, then when he was born (10 1/2pounds, vaginally with forceps after 36 hours) all I could think was, all that work for a boy! It didn't take long to bond with the real person once we had a chance. 🙂

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I don't know if this is the right reaction, but this line cracked me up...

"all that work for a boy!"

[*crikey*mate*]

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@punch*drunk wrote:

I must be a terrible mother, after a quick cuddle with my firstborn I really just wanted someone else to hold him for a bit so I could have a shower and feel half human again.

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I threw up on BC when he made an appearance!

having a c - section with an epidural, so I was awake. Told the doc I was feeling sick, he said "wait a minute, nearly there". They pulled him out, put him on me, and I threw up on him!

Guess I failed at the bonding thing.....

[*elizabeths-mum*]

I know, crikey. I blush when I remember, but at least I didn't throw up on him! 😄

[*crikey*mate*]

my poor kid, eh? he never stood a chance!

[*crikey*mate*]

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@*elizabeths-mum* wrote:
It has been in vogue for quite a while now, poddy. Oddly despite getting off to such an essential start, mental health care among the young is a growth area.

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Is this because mental health issues have increased or because they are either more accepted or recognized "these days"?

(I don't know, I am genuinely asking)

[nevillesdaughter]

Many moons ago (turn of last century-ish maybe), mothers were often encouraged NOT to bond too closely with a newborn at first because neo-natal and infant mortality reates were so much higher.

As regards newer practices verses older, personally I believe the years you spend with them following the birth affect the parent/child bond way more than whether a baby went to a nursery or roomed in with Mum at the hospital.

People have always and will always do it in all sorts of ways, and I'm sure that if it's all done with love and respect, in the best interests of the family, all will be fine.

Not long after my first one was born, I was freaking out over something I was feeling inadequate (mother-wise) about, and someone very smart told me "You don't always have to be a good mother - just good enough!" It's a straw this drowning mother has often grabbed at....

Cheers,

Marina.