Bullying: Are We Too Quick To Play The Victim Card?

[the_great_she_elephant]

Last week Peter Dutton, the minister for immigration declared that he would not be bullied by the UN on border protection ; a few days ago Labor M.P. Gary Gray said he would not cave in to bullying by Union thugs over preselection;  and not a day goes by on FB and other social media without someone, somewhere  being accused of bullying. Has the word 'bully' become so overused as to be virtually meaningless?

I am not referring here to the concerted online abuse and innuendo that can drive vulnerable teenagers to suicide, or to cases where the online abuse spills over into real life (letters to employers, phone calls to government agencies etc.) I'm talking about the everyday  cut and thrust of online interaction where childish insults and even genuine but vigorous debate is sometimes labelled bullying by those on the receiving end.

  Are we all becoming just a tad too  precious about our perceived dignity? If, for example, you have a bird as your username or avatar and someone who has taken a dislike to you addresses you as “You great lump of avian excrement,” would you accuse that poster of  bullying , or would you simply shrug your shoulders  and conclude they were not very articulate and a few penny bangers short of a fireworks display.

As Bob would say: discuss.

[Anonymous]

As for the political examples I don't think the word bullying is appropriate, perhaps saying they won't give in to pressure might be a better way to phrase it.

whats the difference?

[*pepe]

the difference is that the word bullying is being used incorrectly and way too often.

[Anonymous]

pressuring/coercing is a form of bullying

and since we were not there and don't

know what tactics were being used -

how can we know the term was used

incorrectly?  JTOL

[*pepe]

It's a political negotiation with opposing sides trying to get the other to do what they want.
Its not bullying as in the usual context of the word

[ecar3483]

At the risk of injecting a little humour into the debate...

[the_great_she_elephant]

I acknowledged in my OP that online bullying can and does occur. there will always be those who cannot express or defend an opinion without resorting to name calling and personal insults; and while some of us have hides are as thick as .... OK  .... an elephant's, there are others who are more sensitive or easily offended. The question is, where do we draw the line in the sand? If we cry 'bully' every time someone posts something we find personally offensive, isn't there a danger that we trivialise the behaviour of genuine bullies and the very real damage that behaviour does to its victims? 

[chuk_77]

I would think if someone addressed someone in that manner that it would have to be a child?  Surely no adult would talk in such an immature way?

I dont see it as bullying even though children are taught that name calling is a form of bullying so if it came from a child, which it would have to right? Then yes its bullying as its been taught.

If that came from an adult, then all I can do is laugh

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

Some might care because they might have felt strong behind that screen, and now feel vulnerable..

Some might care what others think of them- not every person is able to deflect or accomodate others opinions of themselves.

Re the word 'bully' and 'victim'..language changes through its usage, through its context and through its implied meaning..

Language isnt a constant- what for one person is bullying is not consistent with everyones experience of bullying; and some people who use the word arent very articulate and might not have the vocabulary to choose other words to express themselves..

Also, I would like to say 'refuse to be a victim' rather than 'stop being a victim' one cant be bullied if one is not a victim. 

Sometimes its emotionally tiring, but I call them out on their behaviour. Its quite something when you experience a bully become a coward before your eyes.

[Anonymous]

The question is, where do we draw the line in the sand?

when the behaviour is ongoing.

its not hard to tell the difference between

ongoing, deliberate actions and an 

argument. 

[the_great_she_elephant]

---

@*julia*2010 wrote:

The question is, where do we draw the line in the sand?

when the behaviour is ongoing.

its not hard to tell the difference between

ongoing, deliberate actions and an 

argument. 

---

So if two people have diametrically opposing opinions on politics, say, and each time either of them voices their opinion the other criticises it, which one is the bully?