HI Ms Cat and everybody else. I've been away for a few days and have scanned through most of what I have missed. Sure is a lively thread. I love the OK idea, but I will only be taking part in "my mind" if that's OK.
You must be wondering what is going to happen next Ms Cat - whatever it is, you have lots of support.
It is great (but a bit tragic) to see so many women on here - well I think they are all women, probably some male lurkers, and of course lots of female lurkers. I can feel the pain of those whose pain is still raw - it is such a horrible feeling, like your guts have been ripped right open and your brain is mushed. That's why this thread has been so good for people to be able to vent, even though it started off to help one person going through a painful time.
I feel a bit mean being on here when my marriage has survived. I don't want anybody to think I'm boasting as that's the last thing I would want to do. I'm sure not proud of what my OH did, but I have to say now (17 years later), I am proud of the way he eventually handled the situation. Like many have said, he just didn't get how much hurt he had caused at the beginning, but after a wise counsellor confronted him about his attitude, he saw the light, and now he is a much wiser man, and been able to talk to other men, as I have been able to talk to other women.
I just want you all to know, that however your situation turns/ed out, and many of you would already have learnt this - it does get better. But it is hard work and the more work you put into healing yourself, the stronger you will be, and you won't take nuthin from anybody!!!.
Sending you all big hugs and thanks for the laughs throughout this thread - the more laughs the better sometimes, although we all have to do our own grieving also and not sweep things under the carpet, as they have a habit of emerging when you least expect it and kick you in the backside.
I love this quote which I read in one of the many books I read when going through my "time" - "Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you realise it's another train coming", which is how I felt for quite a while.
Yes, how old is Mr Ex? My OH was in his late 30's when he became another person - now in his late 60's and as romantic and kind as ever. The problem is, some men and women never grow up, and are still idiots are 50, 60 and 70 onwards. I have an ex SIL who was an idiot at 30 and 40, and wherever he is now, probably a bigger one - some just don't get it and ain't ever going to.
Anyway, enough of my raving, God Bless you all and take care of yourself - that's not being self centred - that is sensible!!!!! At times it is sensible to be selfish, there is a big difference between selfishness and being self -centred. So many of has been reared to always think of others first, and in the process we forget who we really are and what we really need.
