Dilemma. What would you do?

[daydream**believer]

Ok, this is quite a long story. I hope it makes sense. **Real names have not been used**

On the weekend, my daughter came to me  and said "Mum, theres something odd going on with some of my friends that i want to talk to you about cause im a bit worried"

She tells me that 3 of her friends (lets call them Tom, Jim and Sue) have made friends on facebook with a boy (lets call him John) they dont know who lives in Newcastle. Tom, Jim and Sue live in Adelaide.

Tom became friends with John first by receiving an out of the blue friend request from him.

John claims to be a 16 year old boy. His facebook page has lots of photos of him with heaps of friends. He's quite a good looking kid.

Tom think John is so cool and, via facebook, introduces him to Jim and Sue.

John strikes up quite a friendship with Sue and last week asked her to be his girlfriend. Sue is completely infatuated with John.

John has now said that his dad is going to bring him to Adelaide in a couple of weeks to meet Tom, Jim and Sue.

He has even said that a great place for them to all meet up would be the local swimming pool.

None of this sits right with me. Why a kid in Newcastle (a popular, good looking one according to his facebook page) would need to make friends with strangers in Adelaide. Would want one of them to be his girlfriend and then get his dad to bring him all the way over here to meet them.

Im not sure if you are all aware of the of the Carly Ryan story, but it is making me quite nervous about whats going on.

Carly Ryan- http://au.news.yahoo.com/today-tonight/lifestyle/article/-/7013312/internet-predators/

I know Jim's mother quite well and am going to talk to her about it all tomorrow. I know she has no idea who Jim talks to on facebook.

Im wondering, should i go to the police? They could at least investigate if John is real. I thought about going to the school, but all they would do is give a talk about internet predators and the kids would ignore it.

Over the weekend, my daughter tried to talk to Tom and Jim about the risks but they just didnt get it. They think John is so cool.

The whole "better to be safe than sorry" phrase keeps popping in my head.

Oh, and by the way, John's last name on facebook in Smith

[daydream**believer]

"most of them set facebook to public so their friends can find them easily"

You can still set your profile to private and have friends be able to find you easily.. The profile pic is always public so as long as they have a pic of themselves in their display pic then their friends will be able to find them.

i cant control how other kids set up their facebook pages.

What gets me is that there are so many parents who let their kids have facebook accounts when they themselves dont know how to use it.

[izabsmiling]

http://icybersafe.com/dangers/predators/

Predators

Every parent’s worst Web nightmare, online predators are most commonly adults who use various techniques to establish a close relationship with young Web users. Predators typically pose as young people and take their time befriending minors, gathering personal information and other clues in the virtual world so they can lure, blackmail, abuse or kidnap their targets in the real world.

Risk
Young “netizens” become susceptible to predators when they chat online with strangers and make photos and personal details publicly accessible. Predators use clues about their vulnerabilities and whereabouts to get emotionally and physically close.

Defence
Numerous organizations provide tips for keeping kids aware of and away from suspicious online strangers. Guidelines include staying private online and using parental control software. Just as important, parents should discuss the tactics and dangers posed by online predators openly and honestly with kids and teens.

Online predator statistics:

There is estimated to be over 5,000,000 predators that surf the internet

These predators are online around the clock looking for targets

Sexual predators use forums, chat rooms, and instant messaging to locate and communicate with children.

There is a fifty percent chance that if your child is in a chat room designated for under aged children, the stranger he or she is talking to is a sexual predator logged in under a false identity.

Sexual predators especially enjoy the use of private messaging, private chat rooms, and the webcam to make advances towards their victims.

Surveys show that one in five of our kids will receive sexual advances while online but that less than 25 per cent of them will inform a parent or adult.

Approximately 5 percent of our kids were aggressively approached by a sexual predator. This means they asked to meet the child offline, called them on the phone, or sent them money or gifts in the mail.

89 percent of all sexual advances towards our children take place in internet chat rooms and through instant messaging.

75 percent of our kids are willing to share personal information with a stranger on the internet, exactly what the sexual predator is looking for.

77 percent of the targets of online predators were 14 or older.

22 percent were between the ages of 10 and 13.30 percent of those that are victimized by sexual predators are boys.

Sexual predators are usually between the ages of 18 and 55. They are predominately males. Many have no prior criminal record.

64 percent of the teens surveyed admitted they did things online that they would not want their parents to know about.

Approximately 19 percent of our teens say they have considered meeting someone offline that they have only known online.

Approximately 9 percent of our teens state that they have actually met offline a stranger they previously only knew and met online.

The internet predator has three favorite tools they love to use to target their victims:

Online chat rooms that offer private messages or private rooms that they can isolate your child and become aggressive without being observed by others.Internet messaging, again, because they can get your child one-on-one and try and take advantage of them.The webcam is one of the favorite tools of the predator to find out what your child looks like, to try and gain personal information about them, and to manipulate them into doing things on camera to compromise their safety.

[cherry*135]

It is world Safer Internet Day today. The Aust Govt has programs/activities that schools can use for this.

For example: Cybersmart Detectives addresses online safety and grooming and encourages young people to think before posting personal information online. It is designed for use by upper primary classes

http://www.cybersmart.gov.au/About%20Cybersmart/Newsroom/Annual%20Events/Safer%20Internet%20Day%202013/SID2013%20-%20Get%20involved.aspx

[patchoo78]

OK I get it, you can be 13 I apologise... 

My point was, that kids that young shouldn't be using it 

[catsnknots]

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/child-sex-predator-arrested-in-brisbane-20130204-2dtcu.html

it does happen... 

[izabsmiling]

http://www.bendigoadvertiser.com.au/story/1274268/police-arrest-facebook-fiend/?cs=12

this is in our regions local newspaper today.

Very direct in this case.

Katey I don't know if any of that means much really .Photo's aren't hard to come by are they?

and of course anyone including a teens parents could use their teens fb couldn't they ?

Yes it does happen Cat .

In that C&P I added ^^^ it speaks of arranging a meeting in the terms of 'an aggressive approach'.

[patchoo78]

i cant control how other kids set up their facebook pages.

What gets me is that there are so many parents who let their kids have facebook accounts when they themselves dont know how to use it.

I wasn't suggesting you could, I was merely saying that the excuse of kids having their profiles set to public so friends can find them, is not a valid one. Chances are most of these kids with public profiles go to school with the majority of their Facebook friends

Most of my friends either found me by my real name or through other mutual friends. 

[izabsmiling]

http://www.virtualglobaltaskforce.com/who-we-are/member-countries/#australia

AUSTRALIAAUSTRALIAN FEDERAL POLICE

The Australian Federal Police (AFP) is a progressive and multi-faceted law enforcement organisation and is proud to be working with partner agencies to provide a holistic response to online child sexual exploitation in our local, national and global community.

Through the High Tech Crime Operations portfolio, the AFP also continues to initiate and fund a number of measures and programs to prevent child sex trafficking and tourism and prosecute child sex offenders.

Child Protection Operations (CPO), formerly known as the Online Child Sex Exploitation Team, was established in 2005. The CPO teams investigate and target offenders who seek to prey on or exploit children in both the online environment and those who may travel offshore to commit sexual offences or sexual exploitation against children. The AFP works closely with foreign law enforcement agencies prosecuting these offenders in foreign countries or, where applicable, pursues prosecutions directly using Australia’s extra-territorial laws.

[daydream**believer]

ok, so i talked to the other mother and she had a few extra things to add to the drama. Things she thought were pretty innocent but now, after thinking about it, dont sit right.

She supported me in going to the police but couldnt go with me as she had to go to work.

So, then i went to the police station and spoke with two officers who are part of the Childhood Protection Department.

I also knew the two officers as they are liaisons at my kids school.

With them, I also had a meeting with the school councillor.

I told them and wrote down everything i knew and they all agreed that it didnt sound right.

The police will investigate John Smith and they will also orgainse a seminar at the school to talk about internet predators.

They were all very, very proud of my daughter

[catsnknots]

good job Amy... 

you did all the right thing and yes you should be very proud of your daughter.. I hope that her friends don't get upset with her.