Domestic Violence

[grandmoon]

Prime Minister Tony Abbott says he believes a meeting between federal, state and territory leaders is the best forum to tackle domestic violence.

His comment follows a call by Opposition Leader Bill Shorten in January for a national crisis summit on the issue so survivors, police, child protection officers, women's shelter staff, judges and federal, state and territory leaders could devise a national plan.

Seventeen in every 100 Australian women has faced violence from a current or previous partner, and on average one is killed each week.

"It's a national disgrace," Mr Shorten told reporters in Canberra.

What do you think needs to see changed ??

[gleee58]

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

I was a witness to her goading once, all her husband was doing was sitting on the sofa watching tv, it was 11.30 on a Sunday night, she wanted to go out and kept nagging him, telling him he was lazy, selfish and only thought of himself. He ignored her but she just got more and more insulting telling him he wasn't a man and that real men took their wives out whenever they wanted to go. This goading was accompanied by pokes to the chest, slaps on his arms and finally a punch to his head.

Society would judge him as being abusive because he hit her but she threw the first punch and later when I asked why she had pushed him until he hit her she said...I love getting him all riled up,it makes me feel good.

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Some in society would judge him that way. others would want the whole story, others would not judge either way.

A few cases people know of doesn't equate to the problem being of equal proportion of men to women.  If it was there would be a list of dead men along side the list of dead women.  

[vicr3000]

"that it's the same for both genders.  At present it is not."

It's NOT a competition.

Just because more women die than men, doesn't make the men cases any less important.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

[gleee58]

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@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

---

Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

[vicr3000]

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

I was a witness to her goading once, all her husband was doing was sitting on the sofa watching tv, it was 11.30 on a Sunday night, she wanted to go out and kept nagging him, telling him he was lazy, selfish and only thought of himself. He ignored her but she just got more and more insulting telling him he wasn't a man and that real men took their wives out whenever they wanted to go. This goading was accompanied by pokes to the chest, slaps on his arms and finally a punch to his head.

Society would judge him as being abusive because he hit her but she threw the first punch and later when I asked why she had pushed him until he hit her she said...I love getting him all riled up,it makes me feel good.

---

Some in society would judge him that way. others would want the whole story, others would not judge either way.

A few cases people know of doesn't equate to the problem being of equal proportion of men to women.  If it was there would be a list of dead men along side the list of dead women.  

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I think you have the whole story.

Lynn was sitting there watching it. What more do you want.

She hits him over the head, what do you expect him to do ?

Most people I know at that point would defend themselves from being hit again.

That is a god example of an unprovoked attack.

 "Violence has no place in a civilized society.  "

Tell that to the woman in Lynns story.

[vicr3000]

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@grace.under.water wrote:

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@lyne-flyn wrote:

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@nevynreally wrote:

It's not a competition though. 

Domestic Violence goes both ways. And then factor into the discussion those who choose to deliberatly cause it. If you don't think that happens, go out in the real world. 

While it's mostly females who are the victims, this generation is learning very fast.

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I know for a fact that it happens, I had a sister in law who would goad her husband until he finally lashed out and hit her.

I was a witness to her goading once, all her husband was doing was sitting on the sofa watching tv, it was 11.30 on a Sunday night, she wanted to go out and kept nagging him, telling him he was lazy, selfish and only thought of himself. He ignored her but she just got more and more insulting telling him he wasn't a man and that real men took their wives out whenever they wanted to go. This goading was accompanied by pokes to the chest, slaps on his arms and finally a punch to his head.

Society would judge him as being abusive because he hit her but she threw the first punch and later when I asked why she had pushed him until he hit her she said...I love getting him all riled up,it makes me feel good.

---

Exactly - that is the mindset of many women: not all of them want to be hit back, but they all want to rile the men. Then they are not prepared for the circumstances. It must have been uncomfortable fro you to watch.

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"Then they are not prepared for the circumstances.

I think you mean consequences.

"Not all want to be hit back" but how many people would not defend themselves ????

 Not many.

[nevynreally]

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@gleee58 wrote:

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@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

---

Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

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Which could mean the men knew they couldn't use that as a defence. Doesn't mean they weren't abused. I think some (and I did say SOME) women use the law these days to get what they want. The truth doesn't matter for some of them. Sad part is, those who need it end up dead. Or without any financial or emotional support, even though they want it.

[vicr3000]

Some women do use the law to get what they want, or at least try to.

[nevynreally]

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@gleee58 wrote:

---

@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

---

Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

---

You basically did say it's a competition.  There is no gender in domestic violence. Men can suffer with it for years too. And how trapped would they feel? Knowing the courts would take the mothers side, and they might not get to see their kids until they're 18. Nothing is black and white. Nobody get a free pass in life. 

[grace.under.water]

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@nevynreally wrote:

---

@gleee58 wrote:

---

@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

---

Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

---

You basically did say it's a competition.  There is no gender in domestic violence. Men can suffer with it for years too. And how trapped would they feel? Knowing the courts would take the mothers side, and they might not get to see their kids until they're 18. Nothing is black and white. Nobody get a free pass in life. 

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Except women.

[gleee58]

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@nevynreally wrote:

---

@gleee58 wrote:

---

@vicr3000 wrote:

I was agreeing with you.

I just provided one example because it backed up my 3rd scenario, she killed husband because he abused her,

and since you asked for examples.

Their was another celebrated case 10 years ago, woman killed husband for I THINK the same reasons.

I only have met one other and she was up NT way, was delivering food and she was a very quiet, slight of a woman,

very appreciative that I carried the food into the house. I asked afterwards what her story was. She had just got out of jail,

4 years for kiling her husband !!!

---

Most of the cases I've read or heard about where the women have killed their partner it has been after many years of exrteme violence and it's been the threat of futher harm to the children that has caused the eventual final act.  It must be a horrendous existance to feel trapped in such a situation.

Btw, I didn't ever say it was a competition.  Violence has no place in a civilized society.  

---

You basically did say it's a competition.  There is no gender in domestic violence. Men can suffer with it for years too. And how trapped would they feel? Knowing the courts would take the mothers side, and they might not get to see their kids until they're 18. Nothing is black and white. Nobody get a free pass in life. 

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I don't agree that's it's a competition and I've known men who've had serious issues with women, just not in the same way asthe women.  A friend spent a couple of years fighting for access to his daughter and he ended up with custody because the woman told too many lies and was deemed unfit to parent because of her issues with the truth, alcohol and drugs.  

We spent years living in a cul de sac where the single father families outnumbered the rest.  It was a great environment for the children.

There was one single female parent. She was removed by the police a day before her ex arrived to kill her.  When he arrived during the night and they were not home he broke in and killed the child's pets.  

Of the 4 men, 3 said their exes were crazy and would lash out but they each moved out and the kids moved with them.  The kids would occassionally see their mother but not often.   They were all much closer to their fathers.   We're almost all still good friends. They've since found other women, without the crazy issues, and developed new relationships.  

There wasn't the sheer terror present in their day to day lives that I've seen in women who've escaped domestic violence.  Although hurt, they each sought out support services and got on with their lives.   They didn't live in fear of being found and hurt or killed.