qYv,BNe0NK(+Vg~~_7.JPG "soul_art"){kind=avatar}
No photos. Just use your imagination 
Started on my "water feature" for the fishpond.
On hand ........Old brass taps. An old shortened gnarly tree branch. Toolie Cap. Safety goggles that fit over glasses. Earmuffs. A spritz of aerogard. Drill. Assorted drill bits, "hole-making do-dats" metal clamps, sundries, etc.
Instructions........It is easy - suitable for basic beginner. Bore some holes. Insert taps. Run plastic tubing (out of sight) along the rear of said timber from current pond filter outlet, link with smaller tubing into rear of each tap. Sit back and enjoy your new rustic spouting.
Reality........ Wood is as hard as Hades. Drill bits and "do-dats" singe the wood. In removing drill bits from drill, burn finger tips.. utter words like "d.a.m.n. and .....well you know, other words. First aid kit nearby. Betadine and bandaids will do for now. No-one around to utter words of sympathy or to wipe my brow and moistened eyelids. Get on with it.
Insert taps in finally completed apertures. Taps fall out. Come up with solution (patent pending). ..... .Place "feature" into upright position. Not enough pressure for water to reach the uppermost taps. Turn tap handles to adjust pressure for all taps to spurt forth with falling water. Nice. Ohhh, I'm good. I'm so good. I'm just hot stuff.............................
........Did I say "hot". Pump gets hot. Really, really hot. Turn off.... (the pump only at this stage). Sit and "ponda" and find composure whilst watching the fish. Decide it's time for me to turn off, have lunch and do what some real women my age do.....nana nap.
........Coming soon to a screen near you, the exciting Part II of this real life drama.
Meanwhile, please feel free to talk amongst yourselves. You might like to share some stories of experiences in and around your place or the local park whether big, small or otherwise and its "features" sculptural, architectural, natural, etc. ..... Atrium or terrarium.....
DEB
You are very brave Deb to even attempt this. I admit that I would be reaching for the phone and call one of those wonderful handymen. I admit that I have now reached the age where I am hiring people to do things that I once would have attempted.
My best advice would to be grab a wine or whisky, sit in the garden pondering all the methods that could work, and then pick up the phone. You WILL feel better for having bested the water feature.
I know I shouldn't laugh and it must be so frustrating for the work to be taking far longer than it should with all the ups and downs, but your description is wonderful and funny. Hope it all falls into place for you soon xx
Jimmy, I forgot to mention the background of materials used in this current masterpiece.
The 5 brass taps (2 of them from the old laundry) are from my beloved grandfathers home that was demolished over 30 years ago. So the taps are about 70 years old with "patina". He was the one who instilled the love of gardening.
The gnarled branch was from an old gum tree. (It has a story of it's own) Just 5 years or so of weathering, not green anymore.
You are right about the bits. Should have kept pa's "real steel" bits. I have some old fencing augers. I did consider them. But couldn't get good "anchorage" The newly acquired Asian variety of questionable-quality bits just "dont cut it" We are sending perfectly good coal, why can't they send good quality steel in return?.
Don't answer that, please.
That reminds me.. I must replenish the First Aid Kit.
(Don't try to "butter me up" Jimmy):smileyvery-happy:
Noooooooo. Just tore up the application for the Patent and I'm splitting spitting chips.
The existing filtration system is working fine now that I disassembled my the flow.
I've had some blots in the past, but yours is truly welcome.
The best part?.........the nana nap...... Ahah The word horizontal (thinking, thinking)
All good Jimmy, my own little challenges that keep me off the streets and out of mischief
With a spray of No.4711 eau de cologne, I'm back to the drawing board.
DEB
