Grandparents? Like them?

[pension.payment.plan]

I love my grandparents and miss them. I think about them every day and cherish how much they enriched my childhood and young life.

However, both my parents detested their grandparents. They've never given much reason, other than my mum had to give her bed up for her grandmother every time she came to stay.

I'm wondering if it's a generation thing; several of my parents friends (all in their eighties) also disliked their grandparents.

Have grandparents become more fun over the generations?

How do you feel about your grandparents and do you get along with your own grandchildren?

[pension.payment.plan]

paints

[catsnknots]

I hate my father... my kids probably would like him if they met him but I decided to not have him in my life. He is a nasty bully that takes pleasure in putting others down. All my siblings agree. He has this amazing side that everyone else sees... they think he is so charismatic and giving.... 

Once I met someone that knew my dad and they said he was so wonderful.... his wife and my dads partner were friends... one day he overheard how he treats his "loved ones" and was gobsmacked.... he said to me that he could never believe how a man that was so nice to others could be so cruel to his family. 

Did anyone read the article about "deserted Mothers Club" in The Weekend Australian magazine a few months back  and the follow up article in this last edition? I think that about sums it all up. 

[pension.payment.plan]

Sorry to hear that catmad. I think your situation is unfortunately, not an isolated one.

I can see through people quite easily and I've often said that you really don't know a person until you live with them. Often the most popular people socially are monsters at home. Believe me, I know.

Same goes for the popular kids at school who I knew were cruel and nasty when people's backs were turned.

I'm also not against abused children restricting abusive parents' access to their grandchildren. Even if they treat their grandkids with love, they don't deserve the opportunity considering how they treated their grandkid's parent.

[**tay**]

I adored my grandparents, and my great grandparents, sadly I only have one grandmother left. My mum seemed to love her grandies too, my dad had a kind of love hate relationship with his.

[pension.payment.plan]

Oh tay, you're lucky to have at least one living - I hope your grandmother is healthy and happy enough.

Did you really know your great grandparents? I would have loved to have met mine. What were they like?

[**tay**]

Yeah, my great grandparents were amazing, I loved going to visit them. Sadly, my grandmother is not well at all, between bowel cancer and numerous strokes, I don't know how much longer she'll be with us.

[pension.payment.plan]

Tay, my best wishes go out to you and your family. It's heartbreaking when a grandparent gets sick.

On a positive note, it's amazing that you have those memories of great-grandparents; to know who they are and what they meant to you. Make sure you never forget them as you're one of the lucky few who can say they knew their great-grandparents.

Did they ever discuss their early life with you? So much must have changed in their lifetime. Did they live to a ripe old age?

Sorry for all the questions, I'm just fascinated. 😄

[**tay**]

They didn't really discuss their early life with me, but then my great grandfather died when I was about 8, my great grandmother developed alzheimer's not long after and was placed in a home. I wasn't allowed to see her after that, they didn't want me to see her that way. I wasn't allowed to attend my great grandfathers funeral because I was so young, and by the time my great grandmother passed away my parents had divorced and he and his side of the family never bothered to tell me she had died and about her funeral until afterwards. I don't have much to do with my father, and I've not seen that side of the family since the divorce..

It's true what they say, you can pick your friends....

[pension.payment.plan]

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@**tay** wrote:

They didn't really discuss their early life with me, but then my great grandfather died when I was about 8, my great grandmother developed alzheimer's not long after and was placed in a home. I wasn't allowed to see her after that, they didn't want me to see her that way. I wasn't allowed to attend my great grandfathers funeral because I was so young, and by the time my great grandmother passed away my parents had divorced and he and his side of the family never bothered to tell me she had died and about her funeral until afterwards. I don't have much to do with my father, and I've not seen that side of the family since the divorce..

It's true what they say, you can pick your friends....

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Yep, that's exactly right. I wasn't invited to my sister's wedding and only found out she was married two years after the fact (we still don't speak) However she doesn't stop her kids, my niece and nephews from having a relationship with me. They're nothing like their parents and I am like a second mum to them.

I often look at pictures of my great grandparents and wish I could reach out and talk to them, it's good you had that opportunity even for a short time.