Hubby is irritating, annoying habits - had enough

[ashjoma]

My hubby  and I had an argument this evening and he walked out (offended as usual) and has come back.

I had some bags of my daughters too small clothing for a friend and some new expensive kids clothing for putting on Ebay and I had asked him to leave it to one side.

It vanished this morning and he denied knowing anything and said he had not touched it.

I searched and searched  ( and he knew I was searching) and asked him again this evening and then he said he had put it all in the charity bin up the road, 

I got angry and said he should leave my things alone and how dare he throw my possessions out.

He then stormed off, saying he was leaving and staying in a motel - came back about 30 minutes later.

This is not the first time he has done this - I regularly find my things in the bin - eg expensive pashmina blanket,  clothing, my books and magazines, university work,  kids toys

- once I found my brand new camera equipment in the garbage bin. still in the packaging

When we moved, I found my 2 boxes of beloved knitting patterns in the bin and he tried to divert me from finding them.

Some sentimental items have also vanished.

Last week, I found  my shopping in the bin - cans of soup, baked beans and tomato sauce. Straight in the bin.

He never asks - I find this so rude and disrespectful. I would not throw his things out.

If I ask, he either denies it or says he can't remember and looks uncomfortable.

His father threw out my daughter's  wooden rocking horse, which my father had lovingly restored for her and my son's beloved blanket. No asking me. And then had the hide to deny anything about the blanket, before saying that he did throw it out because he thought my son was too old for it.

So I can see where it all comes from.

I have hired a storage unit and will quietly move the majority of my possessions there so I have some privacy and he cannot just throw out my things.

I find him so disrespectful that he thinks he can do this.

And then he gets so offended when questioned and I say I am unhappy and storms off.

thanks - vent over.

[ashjoma]

purple - he has been doing this for a long time, but is getting worse.

I can't leave because of the kids but I am so angry I am very tempted

I find this all so disrespectful of him.

[**meep**]

are these things you have packed in bags or boxes stored in a garage maybe which may make him think you no longer need them  or does he actually go though your things?

[ashjoma]

both

[**meep**]

I was going to say maybe he thinks you're a hoarder but if he goes through

your things that you keep in your wardrobe or kitchen cupboards and throws things

that he knows you use, that doesn't seem normal.

[givemeaspell]

Obviously it's not easy to break up a marriage, but you have to be happy Ash.  He sounds very childish to walk out the door because he's offended?  Perhaps you need to have areas that are off limits for your stuff or start throwing out some of his, see how he likes it? 

[lind9650]

ashjoma, how old are your children and how much time do they spend with their father?

What is it you are worried about if you leave him? Go to your Shire Office or Centerlink and talk to a Social Worker. They will tell you where you stand and what you can do, and what help you can get to get out of this situation.

Also tell your husband that what he is doing is not normal behaviour and that he needs professional help if he wants this marriage to remain a family unit.

Erica :-x

[i-once-was-bump]

I really don't think he is being disrespectful, I think it is far more sinister than that.

You need to get him to a doctor or you need him out of the family home.

If his father was similar then you need to protect your children from that sort of strange influence. 

[sandym3369]

I would do the same to him and start throwing his stuff out .

[toon_town_nutter]

Do you think he does it so you feel like you're going crazy?

[ashjoma]

no 

he just does it