I have a Problem.

[tommy.irene]

I’ve never written to anyone before about personal problems, but I really thought that my page followers could give me some advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street as if someone dropped her off from around the corner. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I would park my Harley Davidson motorcycle outside next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

[electric*mayhem*band]

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@tommy.irene wrote:
I’ve never written to anyone before about personal problems, but I really thought that my page followers could give me some advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street as if someone dropped her off from around the corner. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I would park my Harley Davidson motorcycle outside next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

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Deja vu.

http://community.ebay.co.uk/t5/The-Round-Table/I-Have-a-Problem/m-p/4112491#U4112491

[tommy.irene]

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in London.. 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, Then Tommy a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, 'Wedding Cake.'

[tommy.irene]

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@the_great_she_elephant wrote:

Tommy, I don't know how to break this to you gently, You don't say how long you have been married but I fear your relationship is doomed. You can dye your hair and suck your belly in and parade around in front of your wife in sexy leather pants, but I'm afraid the simple truth is at 75 you are getting too old to ride a Harley.

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[the_great_she_elephant]

[zanadoo_56]

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@tommy.irene wrote:
I’ve never written to anyone before about personal problems, but I really thought that my page followers could give me some advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.” I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the street as if someone dropped her off from around the corner. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I would park my Harley Davidson motorcycle outside next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

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Is it still under warranty?  In that case take it back to the dealer.

At least you don't say you suspect your wife of sabotage.  heheh

Good read BTW.  Loved it.

[tommy.irene]

I WAS AT HOME WATCHING A FILM WHEN MY WIFE INTERRUPTS, "TOMMY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW." I LOOKED AT HER AND SAID, "FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ELECTRICIAN WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO." THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT." I SAID, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE FRIGIDAIRE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? DOH! I DON'T THINK SO." "FINE," SHE SAYS, "THEN, TOMMY DARLING, COULD YOU AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK." "I'M NOT A FLIPPIN' HANDYMAN AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE CARPENTER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS. I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!" ..... AND OFF I GO. I WENT TO THE PUB FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS................................. I STARTED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW I TREATED MY WIFE, AND DECIDED TO GO HOME AND APOLOGISE. AS I WALKED INTO THE HOUSE I NOTICED THAT THE STEPS WERE NOW FIXED. AS I ENTERED THE HOUSE , I SAW THAT THE HALL LIGHT WAS WORKING AND THE FRIDGE DOOR WAS FIXED. "SWEETHEART," I ASKED HER, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?" SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED, ... JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM, OR BAKE A CAKE." I ASKED, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE HIM?" SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE "BAKER" WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"

[tommy.irene]

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

[tommy.irene · Accepted solution]

[tommy.irene · Accepted solution]

[2106greencat]

You really had me going there for a minute Tommy LOL