WHEN the PM put a ring around a September election date, voters started running for the hills.
This debacle calls for a line-up of those who got it so wrong. Given that the Gillard experiment never looked so dismal, here's the first in a two-part line-up of losers and winners.
First, Labor's top five malefactors, the men and women to blame if it loses office. Yes, the competition is fierce but the top five stand out for messing up so badly. Next week, the other side of the equation: the top five Liberal backbenchers to be promoted - the benefactors should Tony Abbott win the next federal election.
Earning a spot in Labor's top five depends on two criteria: first, individual effort for bringing Labor to its electoral knees. Second, a consistent knack to reflect a broader problem that has brought the Labor brand into disrepute.
There is no contest for first prize. Julia Gillard's political misjudgments are rivalled only by her policy mistakes. We know her political blunders well enough: not explaining why a serving PM was kicked out in secret; the farcical introduction of the "real Julia"; then dumping on Kevin Rudd in a manner rarely seen in Australian political history. Understandably, voters wondered why Labor made this man leader in the first place.
Add to the list the alliance with the Greens; reneging on her "no carbon tax" promise; installing Peter Slipper as Speaker; dumping a pokies deal with independent Andrew Wilkie; standing by the sexting Slipper; promising a surplus, only to dump that promise too; the clumsy "captain's pick" for the Senate; and announcing a September 14 election.
The policy mistakes? We know them well, too: the stillborn East Timor solution; the ill-fated Malaysia solution; the humiliating return to offshore processing; the knee-jerk ban on beef exports; an emissions trading scheme that looks set to penalise Australia just as the EU carbon price falls; and a shambolic mining tax. Abstract promises about a national disability insurance scheme and "get a Gonski" education reforms are not policy achievements.
Gillard also wins the top Guernsey for what she symbolizes. Far from being a Labor warrior, her lack of convictions will mark her down in any history of Labor leaders where she risks being described as a politician with early promise who ultimately proved out of her depth.
Second place is also a no-brainer. Step up Wayne Swan, who earns the title of World's Luckiest Treasurer.
Inheriting a healthy economy allowed Swan to splash money around like Keynes on steroids, degenerating into cliché with his big spending efforts. And history will forever link Swan's name with this government's most embarrassing policy failure: a mining tax that in six months raised just $126 million against a projected $2 billion annual tax take.
From the get-go, Swan was arrogant and reckless: refusing to consult industry and the states; removing Rudd for a failed mining tax that the Treasurer concocted; spending the proceeds before the money was in the bank; promising a surplus everyone knew was a chimera. It takes a special kind of politician to upstage the antics of Eddie Obeid and Craig Thomson. Swan managed it with the mining tax.
Swan defaulted to old-fashioned class war antics because he hadn't a clue what modern Labor stood for.
Choosing Bruce Springsteen lyrics over Hawke-Keating reforms, he either doesn't understand economics or is treating us like mugs when he describes new taxes as "savings".
His CV provides a hint. A former academic and political staffer, Swan represents a clueless genre of politicians - many on the Labor side who have never worked in business or chanced their own money. They don't understand risk because they have never taken risks. They have no experience with red tape and other workplace realities, let alone knowledge of how to grow a business.
Third place goes to Rudd, not just for his kooky references to K Rudd (though that deserves more attention from psychologists). Rudd looks good today because Gillard and Swan look so bad. But the former PM set the wheel in motion for the Labor train wreck.
As leader, he draped his ill-conceived policies in language so inflated it only served to highlight the failures when they inevitably came. Rude and unprofessional as prime minister, Rudd became a poster boy for the pitfalls of narcissism and Bertrand Russell's observation that "fools and fanatics are so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts". Rudd's chutzpah changing his stripes from economic conservative to a reckless spending social democrat helped cement the conviction-less politics of convenience that continues under Gillard.
Coming in at fourth spot is Bill Shorten. The Workplace Relations Minister allowed the government to look like the lackey for the union movement when the stench of union corruption grew more pungent. When union membership no longer defines the working class, Shorten represents a group of new Labor MPs who have allowed Labor to drift from being the party of the workers to being a party for the vested interests of union leaders.
Dubbed the Bright Young Thing, Shorten no doubt will take the leadership if Labor loses the election. But a true believer, and a true leader, steps in when he is most needed to try to save the day, not to save himself for an easier ride.
As Labor is the party of collectives, fifth place goes to a group of female MPs best known as the misogyny maidens. Tanya Plibersek, Nicola Roxon, Penny Wong, Jenny Macklin and, of course, the PM - who earns two places in the top five - debased the serious issue of misogyny with cheap politics. And nothing is more certain to offend Australians than the finger-wagging culture of these trendy inner-city MPs whom the French would call "gauche caviar". They understand little about the robust sense of humour, let alone common sense or values, of people in suburbs farther afield.
Others may want different candidates on the list of those to blame if Labor loses. But these top five are standouts. The damage they have done to the Labor brand will likely last much longer than their own short time in government.
By Janet Albrechtson
