Mental Illness Awareness and Support Thread

[bluecat*dancing]

Let;s see how we go.

[bluecat*dancing]

No, not insensitive at all. Its a frustrating neccessity that I must constantly monitor my moods but I am glad that I am now mostly good at doing so. It can be exhausting having a mental illness.

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

I really hope Im not being insensitive here, so bear with me,but is it sometimes outside of you? Like a separate thing? As opposed to being inside your mind?

If this is too much, please just say youd rather not say. I will understand.

[bluecat*dancing]

Ask me anything that you want and if I am able to, I will answer. One of things that I have experienced since I was a small child, but not so much now, is disassociation which would make me feel as if I was not connected to body, as if I was a spectator watching myself go through the day to day things while my mind was elsewhere. Other times, I would tune out until I was completely gone.

I know that many choose to not refer to mental illness as being a part of them, eg, depression instead of my depression but I hav ealways considered it to be a part of me and for most of my life it has  defined who I am. It wasn't until I had my breakdown, that I was able to start rebuilding myself, sort of. I guess, I learnt what were symptoms and what was me. There was very little of me and I had a hard time trying to figure out exactly what was me. Mental illness impacts on all aspects of my life and I accept that it will continue to do so until the day I die. I know what my limitations are and when it is safe to push those limitations. I know what is needed for me to be "healthy" but sometimes my brain has other ideas and the illness wins. Temporarily. One of the worst things is when well meaning people expect me to do things when I know that I am unable to do so.

[2106greencat]

You have an inner strength that I don't think you give yourself credit for bluecat.

I have ups and downs, you..... I could only hope to be that strong, I actually shed tears reading your post,

nothing else to say, don't have the right words sorry

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

I know what you mean greencat, I dont have the right words either..
Im trying hard to not sound nosey or seem uncaring or impersonal. I am trying to understand and perhaps give someone the opportunity to share, or offload...we all need that opportunity.

bbs

[youcandoityoucandoityoucandoit]

sorry about the interruption, next door neighbour just caught a guy tagging the outside wall of our building..grrr that really grinds my gears! when I went to our front door, the neighbour, a fit man in his late 60s is standing over this 35 yr old weedy guy waiting for the Police.The tagger kept saying- 'Dont you like my art, man???' I thought my neighbour was going to thump him! 

any how...

I totally agree with greencat- bluecat*  you sound remarkably strong, and self supporting. I admire you as well.

I guess sometimes people must project that 'oh come on, it cant be that bad, you look so well'  and  'Im sure if you just adjusted your outlook, thought happy thoughts instead of being so negative, you wouldnt feel so depressed' blah blah BS. From what Ive seen it can have the opposite effect and can make the person with depression feel judged and alone and as if somehow, they are being selfish..Its ignorant and these well wishers need to shut the hell up..

bluecat* since youve experienced depression for so long, do you think you had some kind of predisposition?Do you think it could be genetic?

[2106greencat]

Hi youcandoit,

Hope you have a good day today ...

and to all the rest out there

[bluecat*dancing]

Both genetics and upbringing play a part with me. My dad had bipolar, his mum had depression, all of my siblings have/had mental impairment. I don't know if I have inner strength. I think its more like sheer pig headedness.

I once had someone say that she should she fake a nervous breakdown so that she could go on DSP.  I asked if she thought that I had faked it. She didn't answer so I asked if she was aware that I nearly died. Still no answer but her mouth dropped open. I said that I would love to not be eligible for DSP and would love to able to be part of the workforce. She apologised. Her apology was accepted. Moving right along...

[bluecat*dancing]

Some people overestimate their "art".

[ten*teeny*tiny*toes]

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@lloydslights wrote:

Hi there TTT,

It's so good to hear about those little steps being taken in your neck of the woods.

I mentioned my experiences of excitement/exhaustion with Bluecat, and was wondering how your daughter has been following that initial taekwondo class?

Of course, 6 years out of a physical activity will be difficult to get back into.  As long as one doesn't expect to leap back to the same level as back then.  Muscles sore?  Meeting up with a new group of people? Maybe with a couple from the old days?  Take it slowly, girls and Dad.  

Caring thoughts to everyone out there,

DEB

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Hi Lloyds She finds being 'sociable' quite draining and hard work. She doesn't suffer bi polar but the effort is exhausting none the less. I can't speak for her but that line you mention - I think she sits under it most of the time. She was fine the next day and did go back to taekwondo again last night. The only complaint was sore calf muscles. I'm just thrilled. The instructor remembers her, and she is already helping the kids and lower belts in the class as they all do.

I worry its too much, but I worry when she sits at home and does nothing. Hopefully she can strike a good balance ♥