Hi all,
We left Qld on Monday and are now in Dubbo.
I am staying with my Dad. My hubby and kids are staying with his family.
Yesterday i spent all day with Mum, most of the time it was just the two of us as dad had some errands to do.
Last week dad went down to centrelink to see if he qualified for any sort of carers allowance. He explained the situation and was given 3 huge forms to fill out. Yesterday he spent 2 hours waiting to hand his forms in, only to be told, no he doesnt qualify.
I wont go to into mums condition until i get back home on Monday but i will say.........it's not good
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It has been exactly a year since i saw her last and i can see absolutely no improvement at all.
In fact, i see a lot of decline.
She had no reaction to me at all. She spends most of her time either staring at the TV or the ceiling.
She looks like she has aged about 20 years. She has crawled herself up into a ball and is near impossible to straighten out. If you do move her, she moves herself back into a ball position.
Her facial muscles are all sagging. She dopesnt look like my Mum at all.
The only time she had any sort of reaction was when i said i was thinking of bringing the kids up and then she bawled.
My sister an I both think she does not want them up there.
It is so hard to put what i am seeing and feeling into words.
ohhh god, im shaking as i write this........i think its time for her to go.......
sorry if this is a mess as im typing though tears.
My sister and i have discussed this and think this needs to be done.
she cant be like this. last year i left with positive thoughts. not this time. i know my Mum. i know shes holding on for dad and me and my sister. I can see she doesnt want to.
im going to tell her im so proud of her and i love her and i'll look after dad.....................
im going to tell her she doesnt need to fight anymore if its to hard. If she feels its time to go, then she should go.
im going to try to do this today