My brother and Self Defense

[herbto3]

My mum and I dont know what to do anymore. We are in the NT. Several weeks ago my brother defended himself against the full on intoxicated estranged spouse as she wanted him to go and buy drugs. He said no and she attacked him twice. He defended himself but since then he has found himself on dvo charges brought on by the cops. 

I feel for my brother as he is a good person and dad but no one is listening to him. The cops wont take away the charges as they see it as domestic volence. They dont see it as self defense. The x sister in law wants the charges dropped but the cops wont drop them. My mum is as she puts it hitting her head against a brick wall trying to get someone to listen to her about this as my brother is an abused husband the victim. Mum says it is not the normal run of the mill case as he is a bloke not a lady. Only ladies get abused not husbands. My brother has stood by his family as his x is a druggy and cant look after the 5 kids properly. He has been their protector.

What I want to do is help my brother and his kids but I dont know how to do it..I dont know who to get mum or brother to talk to. I dont want my brother to kill himself as this is what my mum has been thinking he might do. My brother and mum need help.

Is there anyone out there who could tell me what to say to my brother to help him please? And my mum? Can someone please please help me.... 

[nevillesdaughter]

If you Google "Male victims of domestic violence" or similar, you'll find links to various organisations , legal services , support groups etc who will be well placed to help with this. I hope you all find help soon for this awful situation (including the sister-in-law with the drug problems).

Marina.

[polksaladallie]

My opinion is that a man should never lay his hands on a woman (or child) in anger in any circumstance. 

[boris1gary]

get legal advice.

[herbto3]

to relpy to the one that said a man should never raise a hand? which he didnt!

my brother was not going to get his face bitten nor was he going to get his eyes scratched out..... my brother is a good amn and loves his kids to bits.

he with mum have got legal advice but it is all over the place its not helping.

thankyou to the lady...

[polksaladallie]

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But you said that he did.  That is why I commented as I did.  The only response is to walk away.

[tasfleur]

All I can say is that it is so very sad when the lives of children in particular, are savaged and left helpless when a parent or parents are involved in drugs.

The soul destroying abuse of drugs/substances by parents have the very real potential to heap that carnage on their children which they may carry forever in one form or another.

I wish child protection was so much better.

Hope it is sorted out for the whole family herbto3.

[purple_haize]

Best advice is to go see a solicitor or Legal Aid.

My husband was a victim of domestic abuse by his first wife, he didnt do anything to her, but she abused him mentally, physically and verbally, for 2yrs, until he left her.

Unfortunatly, domestic abuse against husbands isnt spoken about, as much as abuse against wives........but there is help out there, even ringing the local council, they have a Community Service, that would be able to give him some help.

[boris1gary]

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@polksaladallie wrote:

My opinion is that a man should never lay his hands on a woman (or child) in anger in any circumstance. 

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everyone deserves the right to self defence regardless of gender, angry or not.

[polksaladallie]

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@boris1gary wrote:

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@polksaladallie wrote:

My opinion is that a man should never lay his hands on a woman (or child) in anger in any circumstance. 

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everyone deserves the right to self defence regardless of gender, angry or not.

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Only under extreme circumstances and only if the people are of equal stature and strength, and that is very unlikely.

I suspect that this thread will not survive, anyway.  It has a familiar ring to it.