That's probably the most helpful and relevant post in the entire thread.......Great link Katy.
@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:
@4c4sale wrote:
@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:
@4c4sale wrote:
@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:A man would have less baggage, be more financially secure and have more opportunity to walk away from an abusive situation. A woman's chance for a safe window to make her escape would be limited. She probably depends on the man for money, and if there are children involved she would have to plan for their safety as well. Just saying, does not justify abuse of any type.
No links.
This presumes a GREAT deal, and is generally incorrect.
Oh really?
Do you have a link for that?
You made the claims, so have at demonstrating they're correct.
Funny how your attitude changes when the shoe is on the other foot.
Here you go.
http://www.corebloggers.com/blog/reasons-women-stay-in-abusive-relationship.html
http://www.care2.com/causes/10-reasons-why-women-dont-leave-their-abusers.html
10 Reasons Why Women Donโt Leave Their Abusers
by Julie M. Rodriguez
August 25, 2013
11:30 am
10 Reasons Why Women Donโt Leave Their Abusers
Itโs a question often asked by people whoโve never experienced domestic violence: "Why doesnโt she just leave?" Sometimes, we ask this question because we truly donโt understand what might be keeping someone in a terrible relationship. Other times, this question is used as a way to blame women for the abuse they receive.
The answer is individual to each woman, and the reasons can be pretty complicated. The truth is, leaving can be difficult even when you know itโs the right thing to do โ the average domestic violence victim may try to leave multiple times before actually being able to make a clean break. Here are just 10 of the many reasons why women stay with partners who hurt them.
(A quick note: yes, women can abuse men, and abuse also occurs in same-sex relationships. That being said, studies show that 95% of domestic abuse is committed by men against their female partners, so thatโs what Iโll be addressing in this article. However, these reasons could apply to any relationship.)
1. Women may lack social support. One of the hallmarks of an abusive relationship is an abuser gradually isolating the victim from her support network, including friends and family. Since it happens over time, often victims of domestic violence donโt even realize whatโs happening until itโs too late. They may be scared of reaching out to their former support network, or they may feel thereโs no one they can trust.
2. They may have limited financial resources. If the victim shares a joint bank account with her abuser, itโs hard to break free. Some abusers may even take a victimโs paycheck from them or create a very strict budget to try to ensure the victim is unable to leave without ending up on the streets. When combined with the lack of a strong support network, this can make it almost impossible to get out.
3. They may have limited work experience. If the victim has been a stay-at-home mother or hasnโt been allowed to keep a steady job by her partner, this can make the idea of breaking free even more daunting. It can be difficult to find a job that pays enough to allow her to escape โ especially if children are in the equation.
4. Questions of child custody and support may also be a factor. Itโs easy to be frustrated or even angry with women who donโt remove their children from an abusive environment. Unfortunately, sometimes the only alternative is that the victim might be unable to support her children at all โ or that sole custody will be given to the abusive parent.
5. Not being able to take a pet with them. Many men actually keep their partners in line by threatening the victimโs pets. If a womanโs only option is to go to a shelter where her pet isnโt allowed, her fears for the animalโs safety keep her from leaving. She may not have any options for temporary care while she works on becoming more independent.
6. They may be afraid of being alone. Obviously, itโs better to be alone than to be in a relationship that hurts you, but many victims of physical and emotional abuse have been convinced over the course of their relationship that no one else could possibly want them. When you truly believe that you may never find someone else, itโs possible to rationalize away some seriously twisted behavior.
7. Family or community pressure might be keeping them from leaving. If the victim belongs to a religion that frowns upon divorce, or if family members have a strong relationships with the abuser, they may pressure the victim to try to work things out. This social pressure can make the victim feel guilty for wanting to leave and keep her from accessing the resources she would need to make a clean break.
8. They may feel guilty for "causing" the abuse. A common tactic abusers like to use is listing all the reasons why the victimโs behavior provoked them. Believe it or not, hearing this over and over again can actually make the victim start to doubt her own sanity โ making her question her version of events. Victims will often find themselves walking on eggshells and trying desperately to avoid behaviors they believe will cause the abuse.
9. Sometimes the relationship may seem healthy. Some abusers will go weeks or months between violent or manipulative episodes. They may seem genuinely remorseful about their bad behavior and claim theyโre willing to change. A woman in this type of relationship may believe that the abuse really wonโt happen again โ or that itโs worth sticking through the bad parts because the rest of the relationship makes her happy.
10. They may be afraid of provoking additional violence. Itโs a sad statistic, but a good 75% of women who are killed by their partners are murdered during or after an attempt to leave the relationship. If the choice is between a black eye or death, sometimes the smart choice is to stay put.
Obviously, if you know someone whoโs in an abusive relationship, you should make every effort to help her leave. But if sheโs reluctant or isnโt ready, you canโt force her. Instead, try to find out why she wonโt leave โ if you know the reason, you may be better able to help her find the resources she needs to make the transition easier.
Read more: http://www.care2.com/causes/10-reasons-why-women-dont-leave-their-abusers.html#ixzz3Dj38FB9R
You are so welcome.
An interesting opinion piece, though the topic of this thread is male victims of domestic abuse.
I note that it begins with the wildly incorrect asertion that 95% of domestic abuse is committed by men!
It's such a stunningly wrong claim it's staggering.
But you made a comparative claim, and have not proven it.
For instance, you claim that a "man would have less baggage."
Also that he "would have more opportunity to walk away."
What do these things mean?
And can you provide links to prove these assertions? (Among others?)
Not wildy inaccurate OpEds, but statistical links.
Thanks!
Just re-read my post #94, it is perfectly clear, perfectly.
And I can't make heads or tails of the rest of what you are saying.
And luck has nothing to do with it, it's skill. 
