One in Three (or One in Two): The untold story of male victims of family/domestic violence

[4c4sale]

This is a seriously undertold story, and this website is a good place to learn the truth about the staggering number of male victims of domestic abuse in Australia:

http://www.oneinthree.com.au/

Men are MUCH less likely (three times less likely it seems) to report being battered and attacked by their female partners than women who are attacked by men, and further, men have less support if they do speak out.

Men may face scorn, derision and disbelief when they report being abused.

If one considers the vastly lower reporting of these incidents by men, and combines this with the higher number of women who abuse children, it arises that women - not men - are the majority domestic abusers in Australia, Great Britain and the United States.

Time to start spreading this truth, and working for change on BOTH sides of the gender equation.

[thegoblinswillgetu]

No one is making this topic less tragic by posting a cartoon.

Humor can be found in many places.

Many who are involved in such cases depend on "dark" humor to get them through it.

If you look at the era represented in the picture, you realize it was the 1950's

Back when the woman was expected to be "The Perfect Wife" 

Like in that movie with the Australian actress, Nicole Kidman.

What was that called?

Luckily the 1960's came along and women found out their worth as individuals.

[lealta]

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

Gosh, then how do you feel about someone posting a funny video about a woman clocking her husband with a frying pan, or making money off of "wiffle pans".  Or how about posting a video titled "Can't Fit Her Limbs in the Fridge"?  I know...nary a word spoken.  What's the word they have for that??? 

[polksaladallie]

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@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:

Back when the woman was expected to be "The Perfect Wife" 

Like in that movie with the Australian actress, Nicole Kidman.

What was that called?

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  I wonder.

[polksaladallie]

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@polksaladallie wrote:

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@thegoblinswillgetu wrote:

Back when the woman was expected to be "The Perfect Wife" 

Like in that movie with the Australian actress, Nicole Kidman.

What was that called?

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  I wonder.

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I still can't think of the title, it's on the tip of my tongue...........

[4c4sale]

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@siggie-reported-by-alarmists wrote:

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@shepherdsrule wrote:

am, quite a few here on this thread are US based, so may be not so in touch with the stat's in Oz.

As to DV - male, female, parent, child.....it needs to be addressed, but many, out of fear of further retribution tend to hide the issue and would not dream of reporting it - I think that would be most true of males, what self respecting male wants to cry 'abuse' by a female spouse ?but it happens and it is just as debilitating as it is for women victims.

Many women, just accept it as their lot because they beleive they have nowhere to go, no way to support themselves, until it spills over to thier child, and then finally the woman realises how dangerous it can be to the innocent that they are maternally wired to protect.

DV on any scale is abhorant, sadly, many push it aside and hope it will go away.

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 I quoted a figure earlier on from the ABS that 81.1% of women who experience sexual assault, don't report it to the police.

That's a massive number, that needs to change, and the perpetrators charged..... 

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Not the topic, but agreed.

[ruloinfovoter · Accepted solution]

I think it is a good idea and fair to the op 4c if we stay on topic.  Besides I have no idea what you are talking about.

My kids used to say things like ya but whattabout so and so, that never worked with me.  People need to be held responsible for their own behavior I believe.

I don't think violence against men, gay men, straight men, is anything to joke about, do you?

I have sons too and grandsons, don't want anyone to think violence against them would be funny and that goes for other peoples' sons too.  I am hoping that is reciprocal at least.  

[4c4sale]

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@am*3 wrote:

From my post above: Assistant Commissioner Mark Murdoch is the New South Wales police spokesman

How could this man be very very wrong? The police are the ones who have to deal with domestic violence face to face.

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Someone in power speaking incorrectly?

From ignorance, or with an intent to appease, deceive and/or increase their popularity?

I know it's hard to believe, but it DOES happen.

[4c4sale]

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@steppefjordwyfe10 wrote:

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

I'll never understand it.

Telling though.

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Remarkably telling.

[4c4sale]

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@lealta wrote:

Gosh, I'd never think to put a joke like that in a thread about violent crimes committed against any group, be they men, women, gay people, etc.

Gosh, then how do you feel about someone posting a funny video about a woman clocking her husband with a frying pan, or making money off of "wiffle pans".  Or how about posting a video titled "Can't Fit Her Limbs in the Fridge"?  I know...nary a word spoken.  What's the word they have for that??? 

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You find a woman hitting her husband with a frying pan funny?

[punch*drunk]

I don't understand the relevance of homicide figures as a reflection of whether women or men are the main perpetrators of domestic violence. Violence is not always physical, in fact I believe most of it is not, and I would imagine the percentage of domestic violence that led to death is so ridiculously small as to not even factor into any figures.

I doubt we will ever know the true figures of men v women when it comes to domestic violence, its so much harder for a victim to speak about and report psychological abuse. Physical scars can be seen and there's automatic sympathy for the victim. People that have been psychologically abused have different scars and its much harder to make people understand the horror that they have been through. Its hard for the psychologically abused to put into words what they have experienced because they have been so damaged, yet to access services they have to rehash the whole horrible story over and over. It doesn't really surprise me that people are afraid and embarrassed to seek help, men in particular.

This is just my opinion but I think men would be the main perpetrators of physical abuse, but I think there would be a much higher rate of psychologically abused men than most would think.