Religion of Peace and Polygamy

[ufo_investigations]

Question:

Does Islam really allow a man to take up to four wives?

Summary Answer:

Yes, a Muslim man can marry as many as four women, and have sexual relations with an unspecified number of slaves as well.  Muhammad had eleven wives at one time.

The Quran:

Quran (4:3) - "Marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess."  This verse clearly allows a man to have up to four wives (Allah conveniently granted Muhammad an exception... according to what Muhammad told his followers).  According to the Hadith, the "justice" spoken of merely refers to the dowry provided the bride, not the treatment accorded following the wedding.

Quran (4:129) - "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire"  Underscores that a man is not able to treat multiple wives fairly.  He would therefore be unable to acquire more than one wife if this were a requirement - which it is not.  In fact, Muhammad was not able to treat his own wives fairly (see Additional Notes).

Quran (66:5) - "Maybe, his Lord, if he divorce you, will give him in your place wives better than you, submissive, faithful, obedient, penitent, adorers, fasters, widows and virgins"  A disobedient wife can be replaced.  A man can only have up to four wives, but he can rotate as many women as he pleases in and out of the lineup.

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/017-polygamy.htm

I wonder what women in the 21st century think about this?

[lealta]

that's good because it is none of your business what other people feel or do in their own private lives when it has no impact on you or anyone else. 

karliandjacko, I wish I could give you dozens of kudos for that post.  More people need to realize that they should worry about their own sad and lonely lives and quit worrying about other people's. 

[4c4sale]

Apart from cultural mandates, the polyamorous individuals I've known tended to be low in self-awareness and high in narcisssitic traits. They may be less likely to respect the boundaries others have chosen, and to possess a clumsy, predatory charm. The behavior may arise from troubled situtations in their family of origin, and while presented as a viable relationship alternative, may be a red flag suggesting a damaged individual best avoided.

Your results may vary, of course.

[thegoblinswillgetu]

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@lealta wrote:

that's good because it is none of your business what other people feel or do in their own private lives when it has no impact on you or anyone else. 

karliandjacko, I wish I could give you dozens of kudos for that post.  More people need to realize that they should worry about their own sad and lonely lives and quit worrying about other people's. 

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DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!

[karliandjacko]

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@4c4sale wrote:

Apart from cultural mandates, the polyamorous individuals I've known tended to be low in self-awareness and high in narcisssitic traits. They may be less likely to respect the boundaries others have chosen, and to possess a clumsy, predatory charm. The behavior may arise from troubled situtations in their family of origin, and while presented as a viable relationship alternative, may be a red flag suggesting a damaged individual best avoided.

Your results may vary, of course.

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Though that could be just the type of people you know.

[yaryarde]

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@4c4sale wrote:

Apart from cultural mandates, the polyamorous individuals I've known tended to be low in self-awareness and high in narcisssitic traits. They may be less likely to respect the boundaries others have chosen, and to possess a clumsy, predatory charm. The behavior may arise from troubled situtations in their family of origin, and while presented as a viable relationship alternative, may be a red flag suggesting a damaged individual best avoided.

Your results may vary, of course.

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DITTO!!!!!!!!!

The degradation of morals of a society is bound to affect everyone in that society sooner or later.

[ruloinfovoter]

Now that you mention it "getting lucky" are words used by some to describe this kind of relationships - love has nothing to do with those type of relationships though.

Exactly, a real difference to be sure.  

Such projections by some, oh my.  

And all the kudos to you too, lol.  

[4c4sale]

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@steppefjordwyfe10 wrote:

Sure does.

And, I enjoy hearing peoples' opinions on the subject, some more than others, but that's the point of having topics for conversation.

Oh and good job ^^ finding the definitions, don't know what we'd have done without that.  

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I do as well, and yes, we are here to discuss.

Good to see people looking words up!

[ruloinfovoter]

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@4c4sale wrote:

Apart from cultural mandates, the polyamorous individuals I've known tended to be low in self-awareness and high in narcisssitic traits. They may be less likely to respect the boundaries others have chosen, and to possess a clumsy, predatory charm. The behavior may arise from troubled situtations in their family of origin, and while presented as a viable relationship alternative, may be a red flag suggesting a damaged individual best avoided.

Your results may vary, of course.

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Beautifully said.

And I can imagine, yes, high in narcissitic traits, yup.  

[ufo_investigations]

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@karliandjacko wrote:

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@ufo_investigations wrote:

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@the_great_she_elephant wrote:

UFO, rather than asking loaded questions here, might I suggest you actually  seek out a few Muslims and ask them what they personally  believe and what practices they follow. Quoting from the Quran is like quoting from the bible and. you may be astonished to discover that, just as not every Christian- or Jew -  adheres strictly to every single thing written in the bible,  so not every Muslim adheres strictly to everything written in the Quran.

And here, for your edification and enlightenment, is a list of Biblical polygamists. http://www.biblicalpolygamy.com/

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I don't know any muslims, besides if I didn't start the thread here what are we going to talk about, the footy? I thought this would make interesting convo. 😉

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I think it's really sad to judge a whole group of people without knowing a single person of that faith.

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I'm not judging anyone, on the other hand the Quran judges Christians and Jews and specifically forbids such friendships:

re: Unbelievers are described by Muhammad (in the Qur'an) as "the vilest of animals" and "losers."  Christians and Jews are hated by Allah to the extent that they are destined for eternal doom as a result of their beliefs.  It would make no sense for Muhammad to then recommend them to be taken in as friends by Muslims.  In fact, the Qur'an plainly commands believers not to take unbelievers as friends.

The Qur'an:

Qur'an (5:51) - "O you who believe! do not take the Jews and the Christians for friends; they are friends of each other; and whoever amongst you takes them for a friend, then surely he is one of them; surely Allah does not guide the unjust people."

Qur'an (5:80) - "You will see many of them befriending those who disbelieve; certainly evil is that which their souls have sent before for them, that Allah became displeased with them and in chastisement shall they abide."  Those Muslims who befriend unbelievers will abide in hell.

Qur'an (3:28) - "Let not the believers Take for friends or helpers Unbelievers rather than believers: if any do that, in nothing will there be help from Allah: except by way of precaution, that ye may Guard yourselves from them..."  This last part means that the Muslim is allowed to feign friendship if it is of benefit.  Renowned scholar Ibn Kathir states that "believers are allowed to show friendship outwardly, but never inwardly."

Qur'an (3:118) - "O you who believe! do not take for intimate friends from among others than your own people, they do not fall short of inflicting loss upon you; they love what distresses you; vehement hatred has already appeared from out of their mouths, and what their breasts conceal is greater still; indeed, We have made the communications clear to you, if you will understand."  This verse not only warns Muslims not to take non-Muslims as friends, but it establishes the deep-seated paranoia that the rest of the world is out to get them.

Qur'an (9:23) - "O ye who believe! Choose not your fathers nor your brethren for friends if they take pleasure in disbelief rather than faith. Whoso of you taketh them for friends, such are wrong-doers"  Even family members are not to be taken as friends if they do not accept Islam.  (This is the mildest interpretation of this verse from the 9th Sura, which also advocates "slaying the unbeliever wherever ye find them").

Qur'an (53:29) - "Therefore shun those who turn away from Our Message and desire nothing but the life of this world."

Qur'an (3:85) - "And whoever desires a religion other than Islam, it shall not be accepted from him, and in the hereafter he shall be one of the losers."

Qur'an (3:10) - "(As for) those who disbelieve, surely neither their wealth nor their children shall avail them in the least against Allah, and these it is who are the fuel of the fire."  Those who do not believe in Muhammad are but fuel for the fire of Hell (also 66:6, 2:24. 21:98).

Qur'an (7:44) - "The Companions of the Garden will call out to the Companions of the Fire: "We have indeed found the promises of our Lord to us true: Have you also found Your Lord's promises true?" They shall say, "Yes"; but a crier shall proclaim between them: "The curse of Allah is on the wrong-doers"  Muslims in heaven will amuse themselves by looking down on non-Muslims in Hell and mocking them while they are being tortured (see 22:19-22.

Qur'an (1:5-7) - "Show us the straight path, The path of those whom Thou hast favoured; Not the (path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray"  This is a prayer that Muslims are supposed to repeat each day.  "Those who earn Thine anger" specifically refers to Jews and "those who go astray" refers to Christians (see Bukhari (12:749)).

[4c4sale]

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@karliandjacko wrote:

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@4c4sale wrote:

Apart from cultural mandates, the polyamorous individuals I've known tended to be low in self-awareness and high in narcisssitic traits. They may be less likely to respect the boundaries others have chosen, and to possess a clumsy, predatory charm. The behavior may arise from troubled situtations in their family of origin, and while presented as a viable relationship alternative, may be a red flag suggesting a damaged individual best avoided.

Your results may vary, of course.

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Though that could be just the type of people you know.

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Sure.

And monogamous people can be terrible.

But across varying social platforms, these traits and circumstances are ones I encounter with great frequency among the polyamorous.