The Abbotts are getting divorced! :O :O :O

[i-need-a-martini]

And it's Joolya fault...:O

In a shock announcement to be made at a press conference next week, Margie Abbott  is expected to announce her separation from her husband, the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.

Friends of the couple say the announcement is shocking but not surprising: “Margie is like a single mum – Tony is never at home and she knows as well as we do that it can only get worse when he becomes Prime Minister. She is probably keen to make the announcement early so that it does not become an election issue.”

A shocked friend and neighbour who had been at lunch with the Abbotts earlier in the day, says she was stunned when Margie announced she was no longer responsible for Mr Abbotts wardrobe. When questioned, the tight lipped Mrs Abbott “simply said, “He’ll have to buys his own undies from now on”.” she said. 

It is believed the only person within Mr Abbotts close circle who know of the decision is Mr Joe Hockey who is said to be waiting in the wings “in case, Mr Abbott feels the need to take a year or so off to recover.”

It is understood a man fitting the description of Mr Abbott recently enquired about room rates at the nearby North Shore Hotel which will allow him to be within easy distance from the family home in case Mrs Abbott changes her mind and he has to run back quickly.

Another family friend has predicted that the divorce will get messy. “There will be a custody battle over all the clothes that Margie has bought over the years as well as the contents of the bathroom cabinet,” she says, “The only thing that Tony will concede custody on will be the contents of the kitchen. That is Margies domain and he has never actually walked into the room”.

It is understood that Mrs Abbott gave her husband the ultimatum: "It's either me or 'that woman'." said one source.

Mr Abbott is expected to follow Mrs Abbotts press conference with one of his own where it is predicted he will end the conference doing a tearful rendition of Gloria Gaynors “I will Survive”.

http://www.martininews.com.au/opinion/political-news/shock-announcement-CS-20130217-2ekrb.html

[lakeland27]

 the story is meant to show what the media have done to gillard. its a send up 'what if the tables were turned and it were him  being lied about almost continuously'  it demonstrates coalition luvvie tactics in reverse.

[topsidesoul]

Stupid thing to do because the Liberal party will take the high ground and label it as 'gutter politics'.

Get on with the job.

I'm sure seeing the guy in speedos would make any women question her marriage.

[the_great_she_elephant]

Utter rubbish, he's  publically plays the role of a catholic and that means no to divorce.

That wouldn't necessarily prevent his wife from divorcing him though. But it's academic anyway since both the OP Katy's follow up we're simply rather clever pieces of satire.

[katydidthat]

My thanks, TGSE.  

I could write a similar piece about Gillard leaving whatshisname for a zookeeper 😉

[darksideofthemoon]

This surely propaganda from the opposing side?

[*pepe]

SurelySurely no-one reading that supposed C&P could have believed it was anything other than a send up LOL.

but its on the internet so it MUST be true!!!

[i-need-a-martini]

but its on the internet so it MUST be true!!!

😉

[freakiness]

but its on the internet so it MUST be true!!!

😉

:^O:^O

[azureline**]

but its on the internet so it MUST be true!!!

😉

yes.... and both very clever, martini and Katy B-)

[nevynreally]

I don't think it's clever. I think it's nasty. Is it directed to people who don't have the same political views as the OP or towards posters on these boards?

But I suppose that anyone who thinks the same way will think it funny.