The Abbotts are getting divorced! :O :O :O

[i-need-a-martini]

And it's Joolya fault...:O

In a shock announcement to be made at a press conference next week, Margie Abbott  is expected to announce her separation from her husband, the Opposition Leader Tony Abbott.

Friends of the couple say the announcement is shocking but not surprising: “Margie is like a single mum – Tony is never at home and she knows as well as we do that it can only get worse when he becomes Prime Minister. She is probably keen to make the announcement early so that it does not become an election issue.”

A shocked friend and neighbour who had been at lunch with the Abbotts earlier in the day, says she was stunned when Margie announced she was no longer responsible for Mr Abbotts wardrobe. When questioned, the tight lipped Mrs Abbott “simply said, “He’ll have to buys his own undies from now on”.” she said. 

It is believed the only person within Mr Abbotts close circle who know of the decision is Mr Joe Hockey who is said to be waiting in the wings “in case, Mr Abbott feels the need to take a year or so off to recover.”

It is understood a man fitting the description of Mr Abbott recently enquired about room rates at the nearby North Shore Hotel which will allow him to be within easy distance from the family home in case Mrs Abbott changes her mind and he has to run back quickly.

Another family friend has predicted that the divorce will get messy. “There will be a custody battle over all the clothes that Margie has bought over the years as well as the contents of the bathroom cabinet,” she says, “The only thing that Tony will concede custody on will be the contents of the kitchen. That is Margies domain and he has never actually walked into the room”.

It is understood that Mrs Abbott gave her husband the ultimatum: "It's either me or 'that woman'." said one source.

Mr Abbott is expected to follow Mrs Abbotts press conference with one of his own where it is predicted he will end the conference doing a tearful rendition of Gloria Gaynors “I will Survive”.

http://www.martininews.com.au/opinion/political-news/shock-announcement-CS-20130217-2ekrb.html

[the_great_she_elephant]

Who is the grasshopper?

I think you'll find that all those industrious little ants recently rendered jobless in Queensland have now been officially reclassified as grasshoppers.