'An edited extract of Blake's five-page letter to Louise:
Dear Louise,
If you are reading this letter, then I must have decided it was right to let you know how I am feeling.
I try never to regret the actions that I have taken in life as each one of them has led me to where I am today and shaped me as the man that you know.
However, here is the absolute truth. In the weeks, days, hours and minutes since I last saw you, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of you and our time together.
I miss you, but it goes beyond that. As dangerous as this is to admit, I feel I need to admit it - I made a mistake.
I don't want to live a lie for the sake of appearances. I can't take the pain away that I've caused you or undo what I've done, but I can do one thing that you've always respected me for: be honest and genuine.
I need to be true to myself and who I am as a person. It's for that reason that I'm not going to follow through with the engagement.
I realise it's a lot to take in, and at this point I don't know if how I feel about you is still how you feel about me.
You have never ceased to inspire me, even in your absence. What you and I shared was something truly special. I have never felt so natural and comfortable, so right with anyone in my life. Your sincerity, your energy, your beautiful soul, made me feel as though we were always alone together, when we were anything but.
My one wish is that I don't want to just be your first love, I want to be your first, last and only.
Louise, you have my heart, you share my soul and in my mind you are the one for me.
Forever yours,
Blake'
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"There is nothing more; but I want nothing more." Christopher Hitchins
