The Goverment should this..

[tommy.irene]

Dear Goverment.

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
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Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[lakeland27]

which british car ? the bmw with mini written on it or a Maclaren that does 200mph ? an Aston is equally impractical, the lip would scrape on the driveway. do they still make bond bugs and reliants ?

[i-need-a-martini]

Didn't we just have this thread from one of our right winged CS friends just recently?

[k0llectable5]

I think you raise some excellent points Tommy.  When I first read  "Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home" I was thinking woah hang on a minute there old boy,   but when you put it that way it actually really made me think how wrong it is that criminals get such superior treatment to old folks living in nursing homes.  

[just_me_karen]

Do people of retirement age have teenaged children in the UK? Or are you suggesting they send their 40 yr old kids to uni?

Also, after they've paid for the car, house and university fees, will they require the pension to survive for the next 30 years?

[tommy.irene]

They are talking of giving the pension to people when they get to 70 years old.. who is going to employ a 65 year old..

[just_me_karen]

You must have well trained youngsters there, tommy, if they can walk into a retiree's job after s/he's been developing skills for 40+ years 😄

[icyfroth]

your'e so funny.

[tommy.irene]

The goverment dont want people to live too long as it costs them money..

[just_me_karen]

The government values older people, as do the majority of people. It's just that they won't be able to afford to care and pay for them as the baby boomer cohort age,... so they encourage superannuation and keep pensions at a level which covers basic costs of living. If they raised pensions too much, it'd provide less incentive to save for retirement.