Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

a blonde Essex girl and her Boyfriend were on holiday in the USA , when her Boyfriend was bitten by a snake . naturally the girl dialled 911 and asked for the Paramedics . The dispatcher was asking her questions . 'Keep calm Ma'am .' The dispatcher said . 'Was the snake an adult snake ?' The Essex girl said 'Oh it was a baby one I think .' The dispatcher said 'Are yo sure it was a baby one Ma'am ? ' The blonde Essex girl said ' I am sure it was a baby one . 'cos it had a RATTLE!'

[ooak3]

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@tommy.irene wrote:
Yesterday after shopping in our local supermarket, I was in the queue at the Check Out, and heard when the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment. The woman apologised to the young girl & then sighed, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days." The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. You folk didn't do enough to save our environment for future generations." The older lady said "Ahh yes you're right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day." She sighed then continued: Back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottles & beer bottles to the shops. The shops then sent them back to the plant to be washed, sterilized & refilled, so those same bottles were used over & over, thus REALLY were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. Grocery stores put our groceries into brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) were not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalise our books on their brown paper bag/covers. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then. I remember how we walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store or office building; walked to the grocery store & didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go 200 yards. . . . But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day. Back then we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind & solar power really did dry our clothes back in our days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. . . . But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. Back then we had one radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And if anyone did own a TV, it had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of a football pitch. When cooking we blended & stirred by hand coz we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send by post, we used layers of old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity., , , , But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then. We drank from a tap or fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, & we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the "green thing" back then. Back then, people took the bus & kids rode bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mothers into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's expensive car or van, which cost what a whole house did before the "green thing".. Oh and we had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest leisure park. . . . . But it so sad this current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then? . . . I think you should forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from some smart ass young person. .. ... We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to iss us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smart ass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.

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brilliant post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

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[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

Naomi was becoming frustrated with her husband Thomas frequent demand for sex, she then decided to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the number of times they'll have to make love for the rest of their marriage. While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you." On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accept her proposal when he reads it. Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband Thomas and the note read, "Baby, I didn't realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.I accept your proposal and have even taken an extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page. 1. TUESDAY 2. THURSDAY 3. TODAY 4. TOMORROW Please honey. I love you too, and remember that 'Today' is today and am in the bedroom waiting for you my love."

[tommy.irene]

http://usuncut.com/world/iceland-sentences-26-bankers-to-a-combined-74-years-in-prison/

[tommy.irene]

There was an old woman in front of me at the checkout in Tesco today. She said, "I've dropped my purse and I can't bend down to pick it up." I said, "In that case, you won't mind me moving in front of you, while you keep trying."