Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in
October 1995, between a US Navy ship and the British authorities off
the north coast of Scotland. The transcript was released by the MoD on
the 10/10/95.

BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South. to avoid collision.

US Navy : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to
avoid collision

BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
the South to avoid collision

US Navy : This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

BRITISH: Negative I say again divert your course.

US Navy : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER 'USS LINCOLN' THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED
BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 15 DEGREES
NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.

BRITISH : We are a lighthouse. ***** off !

[tommy.irene]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of

his dearly departed mother and started back

toward his car when his attention was

diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound

intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you

have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir,

I don't wish to intrude on your private

grief, but this demonstration of pain is more

than I've ever seen before. For whom do you

mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself,

then replied, "My wife's first husband.

[rogespeed]

Go work on the orchards and repay our kindness 

[tommy.irene]

A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.

"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."

"Oh **bleep**, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"

"Denise," the doctor replies.

Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"

The doctor answers, "Denephew."

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]

[tommy.irene]