Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[tommy.irene]

This is Post 300 SNIPE.

[not_an_eloi]

after a lot o' flamin' bother, found the phone number, for the teatre in dublin m'self.

tanks a lot for yer help, mate.

[tommy.irene]

A women’s lib speaker was addressing a large group and said, “Where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
She paused a moment and looked around the room. “I repeat, where would man be today if it were not for woman?”
From the back of the room came a voice, “He’d be in the Garden of Eden eating strawberries.”

[tommy.irene]

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she’s to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.” sure son" the father replied, drooling. “We’ll take her home and eat you mother!"

[tommy.irene]

Pulling into the crowded parking lot at the shopping center
rolled down the car windows to make sure my dog had
fresh air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I
wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I
walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car
and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? "Stay!
Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young lady, gave
me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put the handbrake on.

[tommy.irene]

Before going to Europe on business, a man drives his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and asks for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requests collateral. "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man says. The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping and gives the man the $5,000. Two weeks later, the man walks through the bank's doors and asks to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer says. The man writes out a check and starts to walk away. "Wait, sir," the loan officer says. "You are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?" The man smiles, "Where else could I find a safer place to park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

[tommy.irene]

A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?"

[tommy.irene]

Things learned from TV:

All crimes are solved in 1 hour.

The Good guy always wins.

When you’re trapped, you always find a way out.

A trip from Los Angeles to China takes 5 seconds.

All women still have makeup on when they wake up in the morning.

When you’re a hero, you will never get burnt in a fire.

[terracottacar]

And nobody ever goes to the loo!

[tommy.irene]