Visiting Irishman From UK

[tommy.irene]

Hi everyone ..top o the morning to ye..just passing by..though I would call in to see you

[tommy.irene]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. 

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The paddy replied, 'These are Carols.' 

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......__________________

[tommy.irene]

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a Gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.  He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man.  He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks.  They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. .. ......


Wait for it ..... ......



It's coming ...... ......

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

She said .... .......:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

[tommy.irene]

An Antartian was running back and forth from his computer and his mailbox. Then the mailman came up to him and asked him what he was doing. He replied, "My dumb computer keeps saying 'you've got mail'.

[tommy.irene]

Sign in a Police Station: It takes about 3500 bolts to put a car together; but only one nut to scatter it all over the road.

[cueperkins]

Hi Tommy, you prolly don't remember me but we met once on the UK Boards years ago in 2008/2009 when a whole lot of Aussie Ebayers were there.  There was an Aussie lady called Lyn in Qld, who also used to post there....remember?  Hope she's well.  I liked her.

[tommy.irene]

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.
"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."
"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."

[tommy.irene]

Hi Tommy, you prolly don't remember me but we met once on the UK Boards years ago in 2008/2009 when a whole lot of Aussie Ebayers were there.  There was an Aussie lady called Lyn in Qld, who also used to post there....remember?  Hope she's well.  I liked her.

..I think Lyn has died or has been put in a home..we did are best to find her..no word now for 2 years...I will always remember Loopy Lyn and her little dog..it was her that got me doing jokes on the threads..  

[cueperkins]

Hey Tommy, really sad to hear that...she was a UK favourite.  I'll always remember her and maybe that's what it's all about eh?...you too my Cheeky Oirish Friend.  Good times back then.

Remember when she landscaped her garden?  I always enjoyed that 'flouncing' graphic she used to post with the chick in the red dress flouncing out of the thread.  I bet she's missed.

[tommy.irene]

A lot of people miss her..But she will be remembered..Al *Bear on the Good Morning thread in UK was a mate too.. call in and say good morning..

[cueperkins]

Throw me a link & make it easy on me...have to stay up late to catch you lot.