What do you say to a friend who is dying?

[au-j402]

I have a friend who is in his last days or, at most, weeks. I don't know how to speak to him about what's important. We can have conversations about all the usual unimportant stuff, but how do I broach the subject that he is dying and I'm going to miss him?
He knows I care, but I feel we have more to say. Am I just being selfish in my need to talk about this?



(I am a regular poster here, but have chosen to use this id for my and my friends privacy)

[*crikey*mate*]

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@au-j402 wrote:

Freddie, he has multiple cancers.  Started out as prostate and bladder, but is now in his liver, bowel and bones.  I'm not in his primary care circle, so don't want/need to get into those issues. 

I just don't know how to breach the leap from casual mate/friend to concerned and loving friend

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just jump right in and say what's on your mind.

even if you embarrass yourself, it's not like he will be there forever to rub it in

[flashie*]

OP.......I have no advice or suggestions................hopefully you find the opportunity for you both to have that conversation.

[au-j402]

Thanks crikey.  you're right, light bulb moment! What's he going to do? Haunt me?

[the_great_she_elephant]

Does he have family he will be leving behind? Ask him if their is anything special he would like you to do for them afterwards. Tell him you'll miss him, ask it there is any special way he wants to be remembered - even, if you feel its appropriate,  ask if he has any special wishes for his funeral.

Often when people are dying they feel the awkwardness of those around them and  are just wanting 'permission' to talk about it. You may find if you give him an opening he will do most of the talking and you will just need to listen to him and let him know you are really hearing him.

[chuk_77]

What is important? Why can you no longer speak about the important stuff? Could you before? If you are close then you should be able to blurt it out. You FEEL WE have more to say? Him too? you sure? 

Are you being selfish? maybe.

I dont get why its hard to talk to a person you are close to. 

[joz*garage]

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@am*3 wrote:

I am only asking a question.. you want genuine answers use your real ID, my opinion only.

As pointed out before, au is not a prefix given to every new ID.. as we have seen today.

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i think when creating a new id and the name you want is already chosen

an alternative suggestion list might pop up and au is included

OP, all i can advise is, just be yourself

i know, i would chat and say i will miss this and that about you

once your gone, there will a gap that will probably be hard fill

[the_hawk*]

In the posibility of this question being real just tell them that you love them and how important they are to you.

its not something that can be changed at a latter date

[the*scarlet*pimpernel]

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@joz*garage wrote:

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@am*3 wrote:

I am only asking a question.. you want genuine answers use your real ID, my opinion only.

As pointed out before, au is not a prefix given to every new ID.. as we have seen today.

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i think when creating a new id and the name you want is already chosen

an alternative suggestion list might pop up and au is included

OP, all i can advise is, just be yourself

i know, i would chat and say i will miss this and that about you

once your gone, there will a gap that will probably be hard fill

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That's not what the OP said.  they stated "au is a default prefix that ebay gives a new id"  which is obviously not true, as the id herbto3 proves.

If the person is a regular, and they may well be, they would also know the reaction a zero id is going to get, and this story, or one very similar has been done before.

[punch*drunk]

I dont think thats a question anyone else can answer really. Everyone's different.

I had to say goodbye to a loved one yesterday I held her hand, hugged her and made sure she was comfortable and that she knew she was loved. None of it needed lots of words or discussion, just actions and feelings.

I guess it may be harder for men as they are not always the hugging, hand holding type, often just being there for them is enough. But honestly, if you feel you have more to say, just go ahead and say it.

[joz*garage]

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@the*scarlet*pimpernel wrote:

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@joz*garage wrote:

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@am*3 wrote:

I am only asking a question.. you want genuine answers use your real ID, my opinion only.

As pointed out before, au is not a prefix given to every new ID.. as we have seen today.

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i think when creating a new id and the name you want is already chosen

an alternative suggestion list might pop up and au is included

OP, all i can advise is, just be yourself

i know, i would chat and say i will miss this and that about you

once your gone, there will a gap that will probably be hard fill

---

That's not what the OP said.  they stated "au is a default prefix that ebay gives a new id"  which is obviously not true, as the id herbto3 proves.

If the person is a regular, and they may well be, they would also know the reaction a zero id is going to get, and this story, or one very similar has been done before.

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i tend to give any poster the benefit of the doubt

(everybody will experience a death of a friend eventually

sure, that is what the OP stated re; the au prefix

maybe the OP went for an automated suggestion if the name wanted was already taken