Where to get support for issues with (Catholic) school for an ASD Child?

[aspie*mum]

Hi! Just wondering if anyone has any ideas on where I can go to access some support.

Here is the story:

My daughter is 6 and in prep. She has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  She has Asperger syndrome (AS).  She is high functioning and has been tested with a gifted IQ.  She started at a wonderful Catholic school this year, that was amazing.  They put lots of supports in place and she had a really positive start. Her teacher was amazing. 

After my marriage breakdown I moved back to Melbourne with my daughter (for my family and specialist support), and enrolled her in our local Catholic school. The school assured me they were happy to have a ASD / AS child and were happy to implement her supports for a successful integration. She came down every Friday for 4 weeks for transition then she started full time for the last 2 weeks of term 2.

It has been a disaster.

For a start, she has 2 teachers on job share. Not ideal for an ASD / AS child. One is the Assistant Principal (AP). Therein lies the problem.

The AP is very "old school" and seems to feel that it's a battle of will. "But she looks so normal" has been one of the comments. My daughter internalises her feelings at school,  but it's like a tidal wave of emotion when she get home. One incident at school left her in tears, as the AP insisted she do the writing task until it was finished and made her sit at the table alone whilst the other kids had a story to finish her writing. She then told my mother and I who picked her up that day that my daughter had a "tantrum" and was "naughty". I was horrified.

We had a meeting the next day with the Special Ed co-ordinator who was amazing and discussed with both teachers what would be implemented to help her (charts on her table, rewards, visual promps etc).

Her previous teacher had made heaps of notes, written reports of the things that worked and didn't work but her new school has ignored them. Unfortunately, nothing has been implemented my daughter is now refusing to go to school (I don't blame her) and the special ed co-ordinator has gone on indefinite leave due to breast cancer (not her fault of course) but has been replaced but the Assistant Principal - the very woman who believes that ASD / AS kids are normal and don't need special consideration!

I have spoken to the Catholic Education office who appear to agree that the teacher is disadvantaging my child.  (In fact, the word 'discrimination' was mentioned') and that the minimum expectations such as a visual daily diary on her desk, a "I start, I do, I finish my work" chart with an incentive for completing work were not unreasonable at all.

The other teacher (the AP and the other one job share) is lovely, but unfortunately, as it's job share and the senior teacher is the assistant principal, she doesn't have much say as her position is not a leadership one.

- I am hesitant to talk to  the principal as I don't want to be labeled as a "troublesome parent" and I don't want to cause more trouble with the teacher.  But I honestly believe that the AP has labeled me as this anyway.  The CED has encouraged me to talk to the Principal (Who is lovely) and is speaking to him on my behalf today.

- I am waiting for a call back from an advocacy group for children with disabilities.

- I have talked to my Autism advisor who suggested the advocacy groups - basically I need someone to come into the school and back me up.

- Apart from the AP, the school has been great.  The parents have been welcoming, the children lovely, my daughter has already been to 3 birthday parties - basically lovely people.  The other staff are also lovely.

Does anyone know where else I can go for assistance?  I feel I need a professional at the meetings to back me up.

Basically looking for some ideas on where to call to get some support or help?

[azureline**]

You need to address this with the principal and depending on the result of this interview, you may need to change schools. Since the AP has no idea and doesn't "believe" your child has ASD, she is quite obviously the wrong person for the job.

(It is not her place to determine this.)

I am sorry this is happening but hopefully someone from the advocacy group can help.

[freddie*rooster]

aspie*mum

It's a little quite here at the moment, but i'm sure some of our helpful mum's will be along shortly to chat with you.

[azureline**]

Can I also ask, has your little one had an IEP done? if so, the school should be following it. If not, maybe ask why not?

[kayza40]

I wouldn't waste my time with the school and would look around/research for a school in the area that is more supportive...

My daughter has dyslexia and her primary school was very unsupportive of it.  I thought I was finally getting somewhere when the principal assured me that she would be tested verbally instead of having to read, comprehend and then write... On the day of the test her teacher said 'why should you be treated differently'  and made her sit a written test which ofcourse she failed.  I had struggled with that school, it was a constant fight.  I paid to have her assessed, I also took her to a child psychologist to help her to form some strategies because she was developing anxiety and depression and I didn't want her going on medication for it.  The school wouldn't help her because her IQ was in the 'normal' range.  But when tested separately she was high in some area's and very low in others.

She has been at highschool for not even one year and the change is dramatic.  This school is very supportive to her needs.  She left primary barely being able to read and is now actually advancing.  They nurture and encourage her artistic abilities, which are amazing so this gives her confidence to actualy get A's and the other kids ask her to draw them as cartoon characters and want to pay her for it.  So now she is advancing socially as well. 

She told me the other day that she thinks that her dyslexia is going away... NO, I made sure she took the credit for overcoming it. 

I understand that dyslexia is nothing like Aspergers, but I wanted share this with you because now I wish I had changed schools when she was in Primary school to another that was more supportive.    Most kids with dyslexia do not get any support at schools. 

[aspie*mum]

- I will be talking to the Principal this afternoon.  The AP is the wrong person for a prep teacher, and as the stand in special ed coordinator she is insanely placed, however, I do understand the school has had to find someone at very short notice.  But she's not the right person.

- In regards to changing schools - there are a few issues.  Firstly, my daughter likes the school.  It's small, and it's close.  Being a Catholic school she gets more funding.  I am looking into other schools (Just in case) BUT my problem is this:

- I approached the school and they knew what they were getting (ASD/AS) and they were supportive of this and promises were made about interventions - this just hasn't happened.  The other schools I've spoken to have all said they'd welcome her etc.  But it's a matter of working out which actually will?  I simply don't know which is a better option.

- Most schools (public) in my area are great schools but have 1000+ students.  My daughter gets lost going from the oval to the bathroom.  She's not going to be able to cope in a large school - so that rules out the best schools in the area.  Plus, she wont get additional aide funding as the Education Department has put out a mandate that NO children with AS will be funded anymore.  In a Catholic school she gets an aide.  This is a huge help to her (and her teacher).

- The other Catholic schools that are closest, I don't know very well.  One has quite a good reputation as an academic school, but no idea how they go with special needs kids AND the other I know of has over 600 students, so again, it's getting to be double the size of her current school.  I'm also not sure of it's reputation, but I imagine it's quite good as it's so popular.  Both these schools would require her being driven to and from school each day.  At the present time she can walk.

- Walking to school is important as she has 'low arousal'.  This means she doesn't really tune in until her arousal is higher.  To get her more tuned in for the day I have her bounce on the trampoline for 15 minutes before school and then walk to school.  This really helps.  Not being able to walk to school, I think will be detrimental (But not as detrimental as a horrible teacher!).

- It's also very late in the year to be changing her AND her funding forms have been put in - her funding will stay at the school she is currently at.  So if she changes now, she will have no aide at a new schools.

- There is am INCREDIBLE private school (also walking distance) with small numbers.  But it's popular.  So popular they aren't taking anymore wait list applications until next year (And you need to interview for the wait list).  This school has a great reputation for helping kids with additional needs.  It has great resources and the teaching staff are incredible.  The Principal is sensational.  But again, I can't even get a wait list interview until next year (and that's just the wait list!).  She also needs somewhere to go until then.  Plus it is $8,000 a year (getting more expensive as you move up the school).  My marriage has broken up and I've had to move back to Melbourne.  I am paying for private therapies as a single parent, working part time.  I simply don't have $8,000 even if she were to get in tomorrow.  Although the way I feel now, I think I'd stick if on my credit card and worry about it later!

- Re: IEP - I assume that's like an ILP (Individual Learning Plan).  She had one at her last school, which I gave to her new school.  Obviously with a different curriculum they had to write a new one, but I've yet to see it.  I've demanded that I see it at the meeting tomorrow because it's ridiculous to be waiting so long - especially when they had all the information from her last school on how to get the best from her.

I am so frustrated.  I truly feel like I have been labeled a "trouble maker parent". 

I also might add, I am a teacher myself so I am not ignorant of the time it takes to create and implement ILP's, or supports in the classroom and I really feel that they teacher(s) have done nothing in regards to helping her as she 'appears' normal.  I feel their expectations of her are too high because of her superior IQ!  But she can't do the writing tasks because she struggles to write (motor skill issues) and them trying to force her creates panic, her affective filter comes down and she shuts down - they try and force her with consequences which further alienates her!

I just feel totally unsupported by her teachers.  AND it's so hard as at her last school her teacher was amazing and we worked so well together to get good outcomes.  And now I have a teacher, whom I really feel hates me and whom thinks I'm a stupid, ignorant trouble maker.

[aspie*mum]

kayza - thank you for your post.  My younger brother struggled with dyslexia (again, his primary school refused to acknowledge it as it's not a funded or recognized disability).  My mother had to fight with the school to get help - they stated "He will never learn to read, he's stupid" even though she had all the reports in the world saying different, and that in fact, he was gifted.  It's terrible for the school to be unsupported.  My mother changed his school (to the private school I wish I could send my child to - but it's full!) and the change was amazing.  Teachers who believed in him and who would change tasks so that he could excel.  Also, my mother took him to private tutoring for years to get him to read.  He's now a successful teacher himself with great empathy for children with special needs.

I have paid out thousands of dollars for private assessments, all with reports and suggested intervention strategies - tried and tested at her previous school with a list of recommendations on what worked!

BUT her teacher, for all her education and experience disagrees with:

- The psychologist (who sees her fortnightly)

- The occupational therapist (who has seen her in school and at home)

- The speech therapist (who works with her 1-to1 weekly with the pragmatics of speech)

- The team who teacher her social skills group (weekly)

- The pediatrician (who is a top ASD paed.)

- Her previous school teacher who took a girl who used to cry and hide at school and get hysterical about going to sport to one who was happy to come to school, could write a page of work and was happy to participate in school sports.

EVERYONE of these people wrote a report on how to transition her to the new school, what to put in place to help her achieve her best and see herself as a positive learner.

Not a single one of these things has been taken on board and when I have suggested things the teacher in question has simply said no and left no room for negotiation!

So thank you again kayza40, I do feel like changing schools is a better option than staying at this one BUT it's about finding the right school and realizing that she wont have an aide next year.  If she had a different teacher next year, who was supportive, I feel she could achieve at this school.  It's a matter of talking to the Principal and seeing what can be done. 

[kayza40]

It's so frustrating.  With all the help you have previously had for her and those recommendations going to waste.  It's like banging your head against a brick wall. 

I hope that something get's done, so that all the previous work doesn't go to waste.  We all know there are some great teachers out there, I hope you find one of them.

[azureline**]

Try these people?

Asperger Syndrome Support Network (Vic) Inc.

03) 9845 2766

[catsnknots]

Job share was a nightmare for my son... he loved one but hated the other so it was really hard to motivate him to go at all. 

To see this year out I would consider just going to school on the days the good teacher is there. If she is smart it will not be a problem, it is only prep... 

Then find out who her teacher will be next year and start to work with them now and plan ahead.