Why would some people choose to be single?

[the_bob_delusion]

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[azureline**]

Yes, exactly. The nursing home people are only strangers until you move in. Then they become family............ at Dad's, there are residents who have no family, staff members "adopt" them as their family and take extra care of them.

It's nice to see.

[polocross58]

I plan to head off in time to die.  Hopefully by then, euthanasia will be something people are able to freely opt for without anyone thinking they're doing you a favour by 'letting' you die !   I would hate to put my children through it, just as I'd hate to drag on, being a drag to everyone around - sitting like a dribbling vegetable in hospital or a home, getting thinner and weaker and more idiotic by the hour while everyone tries to put it out of mind and dealing with their own endless struggles whilst praying they get the phone call soon

My husband believes he'll outlive me and whenever the subject arises, says, ' Never mind sweets, I'll be there to push you around' (in a wheel-chair).  I can't imagine anything worse than that - people having to bathe & dress me and lug me in and out of specially equipped vehicles.  I would hate it for them and for myself and won't have it.  Have been collecting various methods of euthanasing myself for a while now.  But people shouldn't be required to kill themselves on the sly - they should be able to head off to a euthanasia establishment with a cheery ' Ta ta', swathed in beautiful scarves or whatever, head high and on their way to relieve their loved ones and the world of their presence

Depending on how it pans out, I might even euthanase myself publicly on Parliament steps as a final protest against the gutlessness of society generally and 'government ministers' in particular, re: their assuming the right to tell people when and how they may exit this dimension, planet.  It's no-one's business.  I don't see them running up to potential zygotes when a couple are writhing in momentary passion in the back of a car, asking, ' Hi, Potential Zygote/Embryo/ Person ---- would you just sign here please, acknowledging you want to be born and live a life in this neurotic, criminally insane society which you'll be required to suffer for possibly 90 years'.   Therefore, what right does anyone have to prevent another from dying at a time of their own choice.  None.  They have no right at all

As for marriage and 'why'/'why not' -- maybe we should confer with the Japanese, because it's been in the news several times in recent years re: the decision of growing numbers of Japanese people who're choosing not only to not marry, but to opt out of personal relationships altogether.  I think they're forward-thinking and moving towards a new kind of human, one which has evolved beyond atavistic drive to replace themselves on the planet, one which has evolved beyond the physical and its passions and fleeting romanticism, one which has evolved to a point of independence which no longer relies upon the training-wheels/security blanket of a partner to divert and distract them from the big issues, namely, what are we, why are we here, who/what put us here, where do we go next, etc. 

[icyfroth]

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@am*3 wrote:

About the elderly care thing, you could have a partner for 50 years or so, one dies and the other is left alone without anyone to care for them in their advanced years.

All sorts of scenarios are possible.

icy., those are my comments relating to your posts. They are not meant to challenge..simply comments in reply to your post.

I have always thought the  wanting someone to care for me in old age (partner or child) is a lame reason for having a partner or children.

One doesn't go around looking for a partner and/or have children so they can look after you in your own age. On meets someone, falls in love or likes them enough to share your life with them and maybe have children together.

It's nice if they're there for you as you grow old. .

I'm sure other people have their own opinions on happiness with regards to being in a marriage/relationships.

That's all.

Have a nice day.

[cherry*135]

I have known of people who wanted children so someone will look after them in their old age, not the whole reason why they want children of course but still.. It is a selfish atttitude imo.

A lot of elderly people by the time they are eligible for public funded retirement homes need around the clock care. It is not possible for 1 family member to care for them anymore in their own home...espcecially if that family member is their child and works outside the home.

If a person stayed single till their, for example, late forties.. would they be too set in their ways to adapt to living with someone else.. or would  they cope OK and enjoy having someone to share their life with?

[icyfroth]

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@am*3 wrote:

I have known of people who wanted children so someone will look after them in their old age, not the whole reason why they want children of course but still.. It is a selfish atttitude imo.

A lot of elderly people by the time they are eligible for public funded retirement homes need around the clock care. It is not possible for 1 family member to care for them anymore in their own home...espcecially if that family member is their child and works outside the home.

If a person stayed single till their, for example, late forties.. would they be too set in their ways to adapt to living with someone else.. or would  they cope OK and enjoy having someone to share their life with?

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I'm not in the mood for a debate about it.

Have a nice day

[debra9275]

I am not sure that  people actually choose to remain single OP.. They can be single for the reasons already given, death of a partner, marriage breakup etc.  some people probably never find the right sort of partner, maybe some are just too hard to live with or set in their ways

am3 i've never known anyone to have children so they'll have someone to look after them in their old age, most have children out of love and as an extension of or fulfilment of their relationship.

[polocross58]

The thread title asks:  ' Why would some people choose to be single'

Lots of reasons, but let's just take a look at a society where people do opt to be single.  And as marriage most often produces children, let's make that hypothetical single society childfree also

Just imagine.  Just imagine billions of single, largely child-free individuals

They'd be able to devote all their energies to matters other than mortgage payments, school-fees, etc.

They'd be free to meet frequently to discuss & socialise

What would they discuss?  Well, they might realise very swiftly just how over-governed we all are.  They might dispute the need for all those government drones and the waste for which they're responsible

One of the most important issues would be their relative lack of fear and anxiety.  Because let's face it, you and I can take a lot - square up to a lot - dare a lot.  But we don't want our children to suffer.  And the need to protect our children renders us compliant, obedient, anxious, meek in the face of tyrants (as has occurred for millenia, your great-great-great-grandparents, all of them worried to death)

How would the war-mongers engineer their wars-for-profit if we didn't continually provide them with cannon-fodder (our children) ?  

How would they keep billions of people in a constant state of anxiety and fear with their 'predictions' and 'scientists claim' horror scenarios of  ' Not Enough Food/Water in 20 Years Time'  --- if we didn't have children to worry about ?  How would they push us to continually buy their carp and to take loans to pay for it ?

Oh it would be a FAR better, fairer and more pleasant world if the powers-that-be were deprived of further generations.  No more consumers, generation after generation !  No more cannon-fodder !  All of which translates to far less garbage wafting around the planet, filling landfill and oceans with carp.  And no more killing-fields drenched in blood, with 'our' traitorous governments befriending the 'enemies' they sent our sons, husbands, brothers and fathers to kill

' I don't have time to even think ! ',  ' I don't have time to blow my own nose ! '.  These are said in jest by billions of people, worldwide, but they're true.  Marriage brings complications, business, distraction, diversions.  It brings children which in addition to joy bring truckloads of anxiety, worry, sacrifice -- all of which keeps us running around, our brains addled, our guts churning in worry

Now imagine a world filled with single people.  No gut-wrenching jealousies.  No screaming around the roads in peak hour to collect children from schools and kindies.  No rush-hour at supermarkets filled with taut-faced parents trying to grab essentials and worried they won't have enough left over to replace worn tyres with new

Imagine those calm apartments.  A place for everything, everything in its place.  Peace.  Quietness.  Minimalist meals.  Time to read, to paint, to sew, to create, to meet friends, to ponder Life, etc.  Money and time to travel and really enjoy.  Towels that stay fresh.  Minimal expenses.  Calm, reasoned individuals truly enjoying this thing called Life.

Imagine the creativity a single-world would produce.  Imagine the social reforms.  Governments would have to shape-up, because they'd no longer have the Big Stick of children to hold over peoples' heads.  It would truly become government of the people, BY the people, FOR the people.  Single people have power & freedoms undreamed of by those held over hot-plates by the scruff of the neck via their children's welfare

A world of single-people would create a quantum leap in evolution.  An end to poverty, to environmental destruction, for a start.  Intellectually, societies would achieve more progress in ten years than in the past 500

Marriage/children keep us marking time.  Each generation fears for the next and so obeys government edicts.  Societies freed of fear and worry for future generations would live as humans were intended to be -- as free-thinking individuals free to push their minds to mature and grow

For those who worry a world of single-people would mean an end to mankind, never fear.  Progressive and evolved soceties would selectively breed from the best to create supermen and women

[cherry*135]

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@icyfroth wrote:

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@am*3 wrote:

I have known of people who wanted children so someone will look after them in their old age, not the whole reason why they want children of course but still.. It is a selfish atttitude imo.

A lot of elderly people by the time they are eligible for public funded retirement homes need around the clock care. It is not possible for 1 family member to care for them anymore in their own home...espcecially if that family member is their child and works outside the home.

If a person stayed single till their, for example, late forties.. would they be too set in their ways to adapt to living with someone else.. or would  they cope OK and enjoy having someone to share their life with?

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I'm not in the mood for a debate about it.

Have a nice day

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I dont know why you would even post that. Anyone can make a comment related to the opening posts in threads and other posts, no-one expects their every post to be debated specifically by one other poster. I am making comments on my viewpoints, they are not directed at you. If you don't want to comment on my posts, do just that.

[cherry*135]

 Progressive and evolved soceties would selectively breed from the best to create supermen and women.

That would be a large concern.

[polocross58]

Few would care to admit it, because it destroys the illusion we have of 'our freedoms', but we are programmed from birth

We're programmed by religion, which in turn renders us obedient to State (i.e. government and the Law)

Then we're programmed by endless films, books, music, etc. towards 'romantic love'

We don't usually gain much 'romantic love' programming from our parents, so it has to be externall introduced (films, tv, music, books, etc.)

We go through emotional/hormonal turbulence at puberty.  Smart girls turn stupid overnight and begin fantasising about Love

What is Love?  We're speaking here of programmed romanticism.  What are we programmed to believe Love is ?   Well, for a start, someone who Loves us (in our dreams and hopes) is someone we're assured will  ' Love us unconditionally', i.e., they'll adore us -- they'll find everything about us to be adorable.  They'll Always Be With Us -- They'll Never Leave Us, we're told.  To Death Us Do Part.   Forever.  They will Love us forever.  And we like the sound of that, because most of us have fears of Rejection and about Being On Our Own

So, most young people envisage a future Loved One as a sort of living teddy-bear who'll always be there.  Someone who will stop them feeling lonely.  Someone who will stop them feeling inadequate.  Someone who will stop them feeling afraid.  No more lonely nights or days.  Someone to cuddle them in the darkness and 'adore' their chunky thighs

But are these romantic fantasies true?  Of course not, as evidenced by divorce rates

People do fall out of love with us, just as we do with them.  We don't find every single thing about them to be adorable, just as they don't find us endlessly adorable.  They annoy us, just as we annoy them.  They disappoint us, just as we disappoint them

But Nature doesn't care.  Because belief in romantic love and various fears (of being lonely, alone, rejected, inadequate, etc.) propels people into marriage.  And marriage usually results in children.  And that is all Nature wants -- for humans to reproduce and replace themselves on the planet.  Just like dandelions and cockroaches, cats, dogs, hyenas and all other living things which also replace themselves before they die.  It's Nature's Imperative -- Life must continue, regardless of the pointlessness and suffering it entails

So, programmed to feel inadequate, afraid of being lonely and rejected - people gravitate towards marriage.  It supposedly provides them a 'purpose'.  And because marriage and children keep people busy and distracted, they fall into the pattern of mortgages, debt, distractedness.  Because almost everyone else is in the same boat, all this is believed to be 'normal' and 'the way it should be'

At the end, it's become habit.  Too expensive or upsetting to divorce.  They stay together.  They learn a sort of tolerance for the things they finally realise they can't change.  The kids arrive with their kids.  In the end, when interviewed at the nursing home and asked what has been their 'greatest achievement' --- nine times out of ten, these old men and women can't really think of anything -- life forced them to jettison most of their earlier ambitions and dreams -- so they point to their three children, twelve grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.  That's our achievement in life, they say --- all those people produced by banging our groins together -- we replaced ourselves on the planet with some to spare.  Yes, they might be no smarter than we are, they might have produced nothing more in life themselves other than to pop out another four humans - they might hate each other - their kids might be wastes of space - but that's it -- that's all we could produce and it wasn't easy.  Yes, that group of motley individuals over there are our Life's Achievement.  We reproduced.  We replaced ourselves on the planet.  Just like dogs, cats, weeds and dragon-flies do. 

When they met, they planned to build a catamaran and sail the globe or design mud-block housing for the poor masses or maybe they'd even had dreams and possibly half a chance of becoming brain-surgeons or Amazonian explorers.  But the effort involved in simply producing a few children and keeping them fed and clothed knocked all the dreams and ambitions out the window.  They die in nursing homes, leaving behind a few treasured photos or momentos and that's it.  They were married.  It exhausted them.  They have a head-stone, Glenda and Harold.  They're soon forgotten