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Re: Wouldn't it be good

"wish i had another greyhound though, doesnt look like its going to ever happen"

 

It will happen David.  This kind of waiting can be really  incredibly frustrating but ultimately, your meant to be greyhound will appear, you'll see xx

 

Image result for smiling greyhound

Message 11 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good


@martinw-48 wrote:
It's funny how you equate not working as having nothing to do.
I have never liked work because I had chores to do before and after school every day.
These were never done to my fathers satisfaction thus leading to constant beating.
I feel ill when traveling to work because of the association with work and violent punishment.
Sure if you have no life and need endless hours of work to feel better then that's your choice.
I have interests outside of work.
Always have and always will.
I only need work to survive and fund my interests.
I can do that with less than five days work and feel much better about life when I do the things I like rather than making some ungrateful employer more money

I want to be clear. I don't think all people who are unemployed are dole bludgers.

I don't think everyone has to work 5 days a week. I actually don't believe all work has to be paid work either to make a person feel productive or interested in life.

What i did say was that if a person is doing work they like, then 5 days is not too much. A lot of people get a sense of purpose from their jobs and enjoy the challenge and the social aspects. Same with volunteer work.

You say you have things to do outside of (official) work. That's exactly the sort of thing I mean. Hobbies, chores, things that a person doesn't mind doing can all give that person an interest in life, a sense of purpose.

 

But we were talking about mental illness, depression and so on. Can I just say I think you had an awful childhood and I think those experiences would affect anyone for life. Anyone. That isn't any fault within you, it is outside forces. You are nothing like your parents. Look at how thoughtful you are about your sister. Unfortunately, bad things often have happened and do happen to good people and I feel you are intrinsically good.

 

You asked about why school is bad. It's not necessarily the learning, sometimes it can be the social side, especially as kids get older, if they feel they are not accepted by their peer group.

If a child falls behind in school work or is struggling, that can also be a stress for them if the work is too hard.Unfortunately missing school doesn't help that particular problem, it often makes it worse.

 

Being part of a group, feeling accepted, feeling a sense of purpose, I think they are some of the main things that people need. 

 

 

Message 12 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good

This to me is a good thread for discussion.

 

Obviously  there are  so many  stressors  that contribute to a person being driven to suicide.   

Endless  pressures,  those that to some may  be a challenge  to  overcome, to others that would break them.

One major stressor  I believe is loneliness., the sort of bone deep loneliness when one feels no one has their back. or   truly cares for them and so leads to despair.  .   

 

Recently on a mental health   program on the ABC  it was said that loneliness kills more people than cigarette smoking 

 

I'm sorry i don't have the link.

 

I find this unspeakably tragic, and a sad symptom of the I'm all right  Jack society we live in today.  .  

Not in all cultures of course  ,  some countries and tribes  honour their families and friends , but they are few.  

 

 

Message 13 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good


@springyzone wrote:

Being part of a group, feeling accepted, feeling a sense of purpose, I think they are some of the main things that people need. 

 

 


Totally agree.

Message 14 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good

martinw-48
Community Member
It's the exact opposite for me.
I only feel comfortable when alone.
I have virtually lived by myself since I was twenty.
I have ptsd from the domestic violence and the violence inflected on me by teachers even after corporal punishment was banned and the bullying from students in High School and it is exacerbated when in the company of other people.
I enjoy the company of animals but don't have the financial security to have a pet.
Unfortunately in this world we are not allowed to live as a unique individual.
There is constant pressure to fit in and be one of the crowd.
People intrimsictly fear that which is different.
I might have been like that even if I wasn't bashed constantly but now we'll never know.
The only job I've ever truly enjoyed was being a grave digger and working by myself.
My resume says I am a valuable team worker.
That couldn't be further from the truth.
The School Crossing Supervisor position suits me because I work by myself and only have fleeting interaction with people but it costs me money to do that and the extra financial burden creates its own stress.
Life should be more flexible.
I feel like a square peg constantly being hammered into a round hole.
Everyone harps on constantly about why I never married.
Why I never had kids.
I've got two women chasing me because they want to make me a better man.
It's too late.
I'm happy for life to end.
I feel like I'm stuck on a merry-go-round and I'm nauseated from the motion and the music is doing my head in.
I've suffered enough but like one of the women that is pursuing me said that I have to put up with the shyte with everyone else.
Why?
I didn't ask to be here.
None of us did but if you like being here doesn't mean that I do. Or that everyone does.
How can society end suicide when so many have nothing to live for.
Suicide is not a tool to punish those around the person that has left.
It is to end their pain.
Their inability to keep going just because someone might miss them
People hurt 42/7 being asked once a day and maybe a half hearted conversation isn't going to fix all that ails.
I don't expect to be happy but I shouldn't have to be miserable either
Message 15 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good

i too feel quite happy alone, i'm not loney.

i can go weeks without talking to anyone besides small talk when going thru a checkout 'i'm fine thanks'

i never enquire about anyones day, i have no interest in how anyone feels.

i do my business as fast as i can with least chit chat ect

all i want to do is to get home

 

i talk to rosie and myself, i listen to abc radio

i potter in my tiny garden and spend hours on my computer

 

my computer is my best friend, i can learn many things with it.

sell my toys without meeting buyers, perfect

buy stuff without leaving the house, perfect

 

my computers been making a rattly noise lately, a worn fan or something.

i have learned via youtube how to replace fans, hard drives and cpu cooling fans.

also how to remove viruses or other bad stuff that may at times infect it.

 

so i'm quite happy alone

Message 16 of 17
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Re: Wouldn't it be good

We've had the last 2 posts from you & Martin about how you are happy to be alone.

A lot of people are comfortable with their own company.

And that is fine, there is nothing wrong with being alone. Everyone is entitled to be alone if that is their preference. This messageboard is in fact a social group of sorts. It's a way to mix with other people without having to actually meet face to face. So I wouldn't say you reject all social interaction, just that you like to choose your own degree of it and that's perfectly reasonable.

 

No one is saying either that anyone has to marry, has to lead a conventional life in order to be happy.

I think, from memory, David, you mentioned once that you had been assessed as being on the autism spectrum. So socialising with strangers wouldn't be your thing and there's nothing wrong with that. You are entitled to live life the way you want to (within the law of course).

No one is obliged either, to work 5 days in paid employment if they don't want to. If they wish to lead a simpler life, that is their prerogative to do what will suit them best, what will make them happy.

 

But the discussion here-the opening link-was about depression, anxiety and suicide, most especially amongst young people.

So we're probably talking about people who are not happy. If they want to die, then it doesn't sound to me as if they are too happy with their life.

 

So, right back in my 1st post, I was trying to look at what reasons there might be for these people to be depressed, anxious, suicidal.

I still think it comes down to a few factors, not all are caused by the same things.

1. mental condition, part of the person's makeup if you like, where (depending on the condition) medication may or may not help.

2. Outside stressors, most particularly economic for older people and perhaps social for teens.

3. Feelings of being rejected, not accepted. Lonely. If you look at quite a few of the school shootings over in US, I think many of those were started by teen boys who wanted to die and who went in to 'get back at' other students & teachers they felt had rejected them. 

 

We're all different but I think what can stress some people out is if they think the degree of difference is too big. For instance, I have a Scottish friend who says that, looking back, she was probably brought up in a poor family but they were all happy and they didn't know they were poor as such because everyone around them was living in exactly the same circumstances.

 

I also think for a lot of teens, feeling accepted, feeling worthy of respect, is a huge thing. That's why bullying can cause so much stress.

If you look at that article, it also mentions the effect of today's stresses, combined with the lack of community. I think it is that lack of community that has made a lot of stress harder for kids to cope with. Once, most people had their religious group, they usually lived in a smaller village and didn't move far from family, they had the support of others outside the imemdiate family.

I think one of the major causes of stress for people is the sense of isolation. Not just the stresses, but feeling that they have to tackle them alone or without much support.

Message 17 of 17
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