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givemeaspell · ‎05-06-2014

I read somewhere recently how this generation is now not only looking after their grandchildren but also their parents due to the increase in the lifespan of our elderly. Just wondering how people are coping with that? Since I have cut back my working days I have been in demand from my parents (doctors appts etc), I don't have the grandkids yet but once they come I can see myself being quite busy. Are others doing the same? And are your parents demanding of your time? Not that we shouldn't give back, I agree we should but how much can one do?

purple_haize · ‎05-06-2014

My parents died yrs ago, my MIL is still alive and lives with her daughter, her daughter being the carer, MIL is nearly 88yrs, and is going down hill fast, as my sister in law looks after her with the help of nurses that come in, hubby and me are not called on often to help out.

We do have grandchildren, girl 4yrs and boy 9yrs and one due next week. For the ones that are already here, we quite often have to take the boy to school and the girl to kinder and day care.

We dont mind helping my daughter out in doing things for the grandies, my daughter works as a nurse and has odd shift times, so we offered to help her when needed.

I think today with childcare being so high, many grandparents look after their grandchildren.

azureline** · ‎05-06-2014

You give back what you want to and can.

My mum passed away 17 years ago, I gave the last 6 months of her life, 1200k away from my children and OH. I don't regret it.

I was the child care for 7 of my grandchildren for the first 5 years, part time, I care for my 9 grandchildren during some holidays. I do school pick ups now and again for 4 of them.

My FIL (87, dementia) is in a nursing home near me, I visit every day and take care of his clothes, mental health and his finances.

I do it because I want to. I can't look after him at home as it would break me.

We do what we can, what we choose to do. No one would resent me if I were to say I can't.

givemeaspell · ‎05-06-2014

you do a great job Az by the sound of it, I bet your loved alot!

givemeaspell · ‎05-06-2014

purple, good on you as well, I will happily look after my grandkids, these days with a mortgage you have to work and childcare can be very expensive.

sandypas · ‎05-06-2014

I didn't have the two together but my OH and I have always looked after others.

My OH's 2 sisters died young. His second sister died in a car accident as did his mum leaving 4 children - the youngest was 2. We had them all for 8 months and at the same time, a daughter of his elder sister (who died at 25 from cancer leaving 3 - the youngest 9 mths old). At that time we only had 1 of our own but we had a house full.

After they all left, my mum died and my dad moved in with us as he was pretty useless in the house. He was with us for 17 years!

We don't regret any of that.

We only have 2 grandchildren and their mum doesn't work but we have them whenever we are needed. If my dil goes back to work when they are both at school, I would be happy to do the school drop off and pick up and anything else they want. They make our life all the better for being in our life.