"Life is Short, have an Affair"

[the_bob_delusion]

Is infidelity ever Justified?

Go.

[i-need-a-martini]

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@the_bob_delusion wrote:

Is infidelity ever Justified?

Go.

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Yes it can be justifed.

There are a lot of unhappy marriages. And some marriages where partners don't appreciate the other until they 'try' something else.

I don't have an issue with people having affairs as long as the affair doesn't have an impact on the original relationship. I think there is more to a loving partner than them having sex with someone else.

I also think it is telling that some can stomach their partners having an ;almost' affair (ie an emotional bond) with someone else but as soon as sex is involved then they get turfed out. I'd be more concerned if hubby was emotionally involved with someone else.

[this-one-time-at-bandcamp]

The only time I can see justification is when one of the partners is unable to consumate coitus, and encourages his/her spouse to find sexual relief elsewhere.............oh, and when you really, really need a quickie.

[polly.the.cat]

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

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@the_bob_delusion wrote:

Is infidelity ever Justified?

Go.

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Yes it can be justifed.

There are a lot of unhappy marriages. And some marriages where partners don't appreciate the other until they 'try' something else.

I don't have an issue with people having affairs as long as the affair doesn't have an impact on the original relationship. I think there is more to a loving partner than them having sex with someone else.

I also think it is telling that some can stomach their partners having an ;almost' affair (ie an emotional bond) with someone else but as soon as sex is involved then they get turfed out. I'd be more concerned if hubby was emotionally involved with someone else.

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No it cannot under any circumstances, it is a real deal breaker, a complete break of trust, love and respect for the only one in your life.  l think you should stick to the martini, least you know where that is coming from. Who knows what hubby may bring home ?

Medical or Social habit.

An emotional attachment or involvement, is already a deal breaker, and has broken the sacred bounds of your relationship.

The boat has sailed and you are not on it.  You need to rethink your whole post here, what example is this that you are giving our young people of today ?

Two wrongs, do not make a right, ......never have, and never will.   Have another martini, sounds like you need it.

[polksaladallie]

Either repair the marriage, or extricate yourself from it.   There is no third choice, IMO.

To quote someone else, "You never solve marriage problems by going outside the marriage".

[moonflyte]

I had an affair with a man which ended my marriage,  I married the man. We have now been married been  for many years, he's my soul mate, I'm so glad I took the risk.

[jessicadazzler97]

Old corner shop -

While it seems most of us on this thread voice a resounding 'no', there will be others who disagree, and those who have disagreed in the past and have now found happiness (such as dijukjilly). As much as we have a right to say that an affair is not a good thing, others have the right to say it's the best thing to ever happen to them, for whatever reason.

The young people of today can - and are - making up their own minds about such issues. Most young people still dream of finding 'the one' and settling down with a spouse, but as always, there will be exceptions.

While personally I don't agree with martini's views, we are here to share opinions and learn from each other, we aren't here to judge.

[i-need-a-martini]

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@old.corner.shop wrote:

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No it cannot under any circumstances, it is a real deal breaker, a complete break of trust, love and respect for the only one in your life.  l think you should stick to the martini, least you know where that is coming from. Who knows what hubby may bring home ?

Medical or Social habit.

An emotional attachment or involvement, is already a deal breaker, and has broken the sacred bounds of your relationship.

The boat has sailed and you are not on it.  You need to rethink your whole post here, what example is this that you are giving our young people of today ?

Two wrongs, do not make a right, ......never have, and never will.   Have another martini, sounds like you need it.

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Your opinion.

My opinion is that sometimes a marriage needs a shock for people to appreciate what they have. Or dont have if that is the case.

And I'd be keen to know your opinion on what 'sacred bounds' an emotional relationship breaks?

[azureline**]

No, if you want to end your marriage, do that first, then go window shopping. No good comes from being dishonest.

[nevynreally]

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@i-need-a-martini wrote:

Your opinion.

My opinion is that sometimes a marriage needs a shock for people to appreciate what they have. Or dont have if that is the case.

And I'd be keen to know your opinion on what 'sacred bounds' an emotional relationship breaks?

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If a marriage needs a shock, it's already too late.

In answer to your question. Trust. 

It's what children give us, and expect from us. It's what we (collectively) expect from those we chose to make bonds with. Why make the bonds if they don't mean that much to you?

[the_bob_delusion]

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@azureline** wrote:

No, if you want to end your marriage, do that first, then go window shopping. No good comes from being dishonest.

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WOuld it be smarter to do window shopping first, try it out, and if it's worth buying then get rid of the old stuft?

Pretty silly to throw out your old stuft just to find the new stuft doesn't fit right?