Frist ever for not as described item

[*sparklz*]

Long story short here.

With over 5000 sales I have NEVER had to deal with an item not as described dispute.

Buyer put in offer, offer accepted paid and posted.

Buy starts to ask questions after item is posted and realises she has purchased the wrong size item.

Description was 100% accurate re the item and size.

Buyer not in the know assumed she was getting bigger version.

Buyer then opens dispute for item not received less than 24 hrs after paying.

I call PP and tell them the item was paid for less than 24 hours ago.

PP say just wait and see what happens.

Next day buyer changes dispute to not as described.

Tracking shows the item is still in transit and not even delivered.

Call to PP again, they close the dispute and release money back to PP account.

2 days later buyer opens another not as described dispute saying item is not new as per description.

I supply all the proof possible to show it is exactly as described along with the history of the buyers disputes after a change of mind.

Paypal tell buyer to return to seller on the 27/9 for refund by the  by 8th Oct

Today the final day buyer enters tracking number for return of item.

So what happens if

a) the item is exactly as described and the buyer was using any excuse to get the refund (which is the case) as the item is as described.

or

b) they have damaged or used the item in the 10 days it was in their possession before returning it.

What proof would I need to send PP to win this dispute.

The buyer has sent abusive and profanity filed language via the ebay messages (which have been reported)

I can not understand how after opening 2 disputes BEFORE they even had the item that PP would even find in her favor when it was obviously a change of mind or buyers remorse.

[1sweetap6v8]

@patchoo78 LOL well if your a young woman a girl or a rough diamond its all the same i was using Lady as not to be rude. For that i appoligise to you, what would you like me to call you. Miss Patchoo or Mrs Patchoo.?

Digi,  I have no problem debating with you if thats what you want I made that quite clear as long as its not the subject ,but your wasting your time im not about to be swayed into think any different any time soon, I truely believe a refund was nessasary regardless who is wrong or right , its just good practice to satisfy the consumer.

And i believe i am being polite and respectfull to you all. After all i only made a statement which you all tore strips off me which started me off. 

And i am not disregarding or disrespecting you because of your gender quite to the contrary im ending my conversation with you about this subject on the grounds of respect for you and ,  There is no need to go any further with it as we all became way to fiesty over it regardless who is right or wrong it was plainly obvious niether party were going to be swayed and once i became aware of your gender it was not appropriate to continue. I told you your welcome to say what you want read what i say to any males but i will not direct posts concerning the matter with the opposite sex due to the aggressive nature of it regardless who is at fault. 

And for that i chose once i new your gender to end that conversation on the grounds of respect for your gender.rather than continue in a manner i felt was not right.

And i believe I am not ignoring you i am conversing with you right now without mentioning anything to do with that subject other than the small statement i made concerning it.

I would never not debate with you because of your gender but i definatly would not converse with you in the same manner i would a male as you have found out.

 Even if you dont mind a bit of hot headedness and foul language . Its not who and what i am. I just wont allow that to happen.  The women in my life mean way to much to me and have raised me , and that is why i will never treat a lady woman girl or female other than with the respect they deserve.

Does that answer all you need to know.

[patchoo78]

Just Patchoo is fine, as it isn't actually my last name 

[digital*ghost]

Does that answer all you need to know.

In a word, no, however I can appreciate your attempt to explain your position. You misunderstand me if you think I wish to perpetuate the topic of the thread in continuing to address you here and now, but I can see it's probably not going to be much good trying to explain why I find your refusal to continue the conversation both dismissive and disrespectful.

You obviously have the capacity to converse with politeness and respect, it's a shame you allow subject matter and/or gender affect your capacity and/or willingness to do that. 

[1sweetap6v8]

@patchoo  NP Patchoo , but its not a good idea to tell strangers its your real name, just a thought as i am a stranger.

[1sweetap6v8]

 Well digi i dont know what else to say to you im sorry you cant see my point in wanting so respect the opposite sex im very willing to chat about what ever but i have made my feelings on this topic very clear and i wouldnt want to jeopodise my integrity towards you and your gender as i know i will say something that will ultimately cause you stress and then i would feel bad about that.

Im really finding it hard to understand why you would feel im disrespecting you for not wanting to get into a debate that would more than likely cause you aggravation.

[patchoo78]

I didn't tell anyone my real name.. I said that Patchoo WASN'T my real last name.. 

What kind of person do you think would name their child Patchoo? LOL

[1sweetap6v8]

Yes patchoo i realised my mistake after i postd it. my fault.

[1sweetap6v8]

LOL well patchoo there are some strnge names out there.  LOL

[digital*ghost]

Im really finding it hard to understand why you would feel im disrespecting you for not wanting to get into a debate that would more than likely cause you aggravation.

I will try to put it another way, then.

When people want to talk to another person, they want the other person to listen to them. A conversation involves at least two people who are willing to both speak and listen (or read and write, as the case is on forums). When you end a conversation that has not been resolved, you are indicating that you are not willing to reach a resolution (on a side note, unresolved issues have a tendency to simply continue to occur).

That means you are indicating you not only don't want to talk to them, but that you don't want to listen to them. 

That means you completely shut down the other person trying to talk to you, and any possibility of attempting to understand where they're coming from, which is likely the primary purpose of their attempt to talk to you.

That is extremely frustrating, and why I find it disrespectful.

Was I frustrated when trying to talk to you about the consumer rights issue? Of course I was, but I chose to continue to participate in that conversation, I chose to continue to read what you had to say, and respond to it - probably with my frustration evident, but I think I maintained respect and politeness - and that had nothing to do with you being male, female, or whatever, and everything to do with you being a fellow human being.

I am not frustrated with this conversation, just a little bewildered that this level was not possible with the previous subject.

[crypsynight]

 Well digi i dont know what else to say to you im sorry you cant see my point in wanting so respect the opposite sex im very willing to chat about what ever but i have made my feelings on this topic very clear and i wouldnt want to jeopodise my integrity towards you and your gender as i know i will say something that will ultimately cause you stress and then i would feel bad about that.

Im really finding it hard to understand why you would feel im disrespecting you for not wanting to get into a debate that would more than likely cause you aggravation.

Surely this is written by another person.

The spelling is correct. It is literate, polite and coherent.

If it weren't somewhat belittling to females I'd guess it was written by the wife.

Why couldn't you have used this tone with regards to this thread's topic - you certainly wouldn't have raised quite so many hackles.