What do you do about a vindictive unhinged buyer who has left untrue negative feedback

[moonembel]

What do you do about a vindictive unhinged buyer who has left negative feedback?

Wish I had a time machine i completely inadvertantly forgot to mention a split in the lining of  ladies handbag. I apolgised immediately and offered a refnd immediately when contacted by the buyer and it has been the most hellish experience since then. All her corresspondance and has been extremely rude and hurtful.

She has overstated the negative condition of the bag, return it in a slightly more damaged state. 

I gave her the refund anyway because I just wanted it finished.

Her feedback she has given to me is terrible. Negative in everyway.  I can understand the descrition being negative but my postage was the same day, communication everything else really fast.

I have now blocked her as a buyer, but I feel shattered by the whole experience. What can I do about my feedback apart from giving a puny reply I am allowed.

Why do unhinged bullying buyers get so much power?

I have now stopped selling on eBay.

[kopenhagen5]

They don't have power, remember that.

The poor little bully probably doesnt realize the black world she lives in.

Whilst us the good have lots of friends and can laugh off anything the bullies throw at us knowing they are trying their best to hurt because they already know they have lost. Like water off a ducks back really.

And some buyers leave feedback when they are emotional, so can't be taken too seriously.

You could leave a reply along the lines of - Refunded, buyer returned more damaged than sent and abusive.

[clarry100]

I would say there is little to nothing you can do about this situation.

It is 100% down to the seller to ensure that any & all defects no matter how slight are mentioned and/or shown in pics.

The buyer has now left you NEG FB stating the reason they were unhappy with the purchase, which is the rip in the lining that was not described.

Ebay will support the buyer in these cases no matter what.

You could leave a carefully worded reply to the feedback but perhaps another person more experienced than I in these things might make a suggestion here.

Basically you will just have to suck it up and move on really.

[thecatspjs]

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@moonembel wrote:

What do you do about a vindictive unhinged buyer who has left negative feedback?

Wish I had a time machine i completely inadvertantly forgot to mention a split in the lining of  ladies handbag. I apolgised immediately and offered a refnd immediately when contacted by the buyer and it has been the most hellish experience since then. All her corresspondance and has been extremely rude and hurtful.

She has overstated the negative condition of the bag, return it in a slightly more damaged state. 

I gave her the refund anyway because I just wanted it finished.

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Did you ask the buyer to return the bag when you knew 100% you had made the error and it is not a high value bag ?  

Not condoning the buyers behaviour, but I can understand why a buyer might be quite annoyed given it is a relatively low cost item.

[digital*ghost]

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@moonembel wrote:

Why do unhinged bullying buyers get so much power?

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I don't know if any of this will help (it's intended to at least try) and this may not be the most popular opinion around, but I personally think it's sellers that give them that power.

I don't mean all sellers, or each one as an individual contributes to it, I mean as a general collective due to the culture of fear surrounding red (or even grey) dots, which has resulted in scores of listings with sections that practically beg for positives and all 5 stars, and which also extends to (some - not all - of the) notes and cards placed in packages, as well as the kind of sellers who will do almost anything the buyer wants or says to try and avoid it. 

It's a little bit like that old parable where a boy says to his grandfather that there are two wolves fighting inside him, one good and one bad, and he asks which one will win? To which the grandfather replies "the one you feed". 

If this culture of fear didn't exist, if it wasn't perpetuated by how some sellers respond to the threat or instance of it, how much power would that red dot have? 

By and large, and in the most practical sense, it doesn't stop a seller from listing, and it doesn't stop a seller from selling. If it's taken personally, though, I understand that it can undermine confidence in a wide variety of areas (faith in buyers, faith in support from eBay etc), and I'm not saying that these kinds of things are inconsequential entirely, but I truly believe this is one of those things that is given more 'power' than it deserves. 

If / when you reply to the feedback, don't reply to the buyer, reply for every other prospective buyer who may read it (if you decide to sell again in the future). In as much as the 80 characters allow, write the information you would need if you were a buyer looking at something and saw that comment on the seller's profile. 

I'd also recommend no longer reading or replying to any of their messages, unless it's to say that the transaction is finalised and you will not provide any further correspondence. (That's if they are still messaging you). 

On a more personal note, the way I look at these kinds of things, is that this person doesn't know me on any kind of genuine level, and their opinion of me - based on limited facts from a singular perspective - doesn't change anything in my life. We each go on, the size of the world is the same, and my friends & family don't go "what?! Joe Bloggs in Vic thinks you're the worst seller ever? That's it, you're out of the circle / family / band". 

[the4masters2013]

Well stated! It's tough having buyers like that.

Everyone makes a mistake (We would like to be perfect, but hiccups happen).

I stressed out enough just on a neutral feedback.

Now i know life goes on regardless of the coloured dot.

I hope the OP realises this can happen, and most probably will, to any of us.

[chameleon54]

Unfortunately it happens. As sellers we all make mistakes. We dont notice or forget to mention faults. When that happens buyers get upset. If the fault is serious, you cant blame them for thinking we are delibrately trying to sell faulty goods without mentioning the fault. The buyer feels as if we are taking them for a ride.

When I have an issue like this and I am confident the buyer is telling the truth, I just refund immediately, tell them they can keep the item for free and appoligise. Remember it is a hassle for the buyer to have to pack up and return an item. They worry about recieving a refund once the seller gets the item back etc. Its not their fault the item was not described accurately and If I stuff up a description, I just wear the loss, refund and we all move on. I have never recieved a negative feedback for item not as described following this procedure. ( and yes I have made my share of mistakes in item description ) .

The best thing you can do now is put this down to experience, get up off the floor, dust yourself off and go again. Making sure in future to describe and photograph any faults.  I understand the neg. hurts now, but Ebay is an ongoing learning experience. If we all where to give up at our first neg. or unpleasant experience there would be no sellers left. Best of luck with your future selling on ebay........

[phorum_junkie*]

I would have refunded, in full, as soon as I saw a photo of the damage and would not have asked for it to be returned. I would then have added them to my party list and have forgotten about them. If they still left a neg then too bad, one little red dot on my computer screen is not going to impact my life in any way. Onward and upward after that without a backward glance.

[springyzone]

I know once upon a time as a seller I used to stress about the possibility of getting a red dot (never did but we came close a few times even though we were quite genuine, careful, reasonable sellers who tried to please.)

But really, don't stress. You need to realise that other buyers are perfectly capable of recognising a vindictive over the top buyer when they see one. As a buyer these days, I don't care about a seller having a neg, all I care about is what the neg was for and how the seller handled it.

No matter how nasty the FB, just give a factual reply to state the facts-you made a mistake in the listing, immediately gave full refund & apologised.

As a buyer that is all I want to know-that if there is a problem, you deal with it.

Don't let it stop you selling.

[lyndal1838]

As a buyer, I would be more concerned at seeing you call a buyer vindictive and unhinged than seeing a negative on your feedback, especially if you handle it well.

You need to remember that these boards are public.....your buyer could well read this and post a different version of the story.