What do you do about a vindictive unhinged buyer who has left untrue negative feedback

[moonembel]

What do you do about a vindictive unhinged buyer who has left negative feedback?

Wish I had a time machine i completely inadvertantly forgot to mention a split in the lining of  ladies handbag. I apolgised immediately and offered a refnd immediately when contacted by the buyer and it has been the most hellish experience since then. All her corresspondance and has been extremely rude and hurtful.

She has overstated the negative condition of the bag, return it in a slightly more damaged state. 

I gave her the refund anyway because I just wanted it finished.

Her feedback she has given to me is terrible. Negative in everyway.  I can understand the descrition being negative but my postage was the same day, communication everything else really fast.

I have now blocked her as a buyer, but I feel shattered by the whole experience. What can I do about my feedback apart from giving a puny reply I am allowed.

Why do unhinged bullying buyers get so much power?

I have now stopped selling on eBay.

[digital*ghost]

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@davewil1964 wrote:

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@digital*ghost wrote:

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If all of this is true...

Why is pretty much anyone's guess...

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We do, however, only have one side of the story.

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As I acknowledged twice, in the above two sentences of my post. 😉 What I was trying to do was point out that we only have appearances to go on, and even if it seemed like the buyer was justifiably angry, that wouldn't excuse poor behaviour. (I also added that last line to ackowledge the same could be said for an obviously emotive response by the seller to a stressful situation). 

Just some other, general comments...

I saw the neg earlier, and like mentioned above, didn't seem particularly out of the ordinary, nothing that breached policies, and definitely wasn't over the top, or appeared to be full of rage etc. 

We can only speculate as to why it was removed, but I will say that I've had some calm, and actually 100% factual, negatives removed by eBay because of other actions taken by the buyer (message content, other policy breaches). 

I also don't really get the point of posts mentioning things like "I would have refunded without return". Which is neat n' all, and may have avoided some of the issues the seller experienced, but what some sellers would do in these circumstances doesn't = any kind of obligation for other sellers to do the same, and it doesn't make it more the "right" thing to do, either.

I, too, would refund without requiring return....in some cases. In other cases, even when the item is not re-sellable, I absolutely will require return (me paying for it in an INAD case, of course).  That is something that is decided on a case by case basis, and I - just like this seller - have the absolute right to do that. There is always the chance, no matter what you buy and how awesome the seller is, that an item may need to be returned for some reason, resenting that is pointless. 

[lane-ends]

Logic doesn't come into it when emotions are up, it is only a matter of where you want to draw the line in  minimizing the risk of reaction, You are right its not an obligation. Likewise you have to accept the other party is going to do what they are going to do, you have decided where to draw the line.

[thecatspjs]

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@digital*ghost wrote:

I also don't really get the point of posts mentioning things like "I would have refunded without return". Which is neat n' all, and may have avoided some of the issues the seller experienced, but what some sellers would do in these circumstances doesn't = any kind of obligation for other sellers to do the same, and it doesn't make it more the "right" thing to do, either.

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Posters that indicated they would take this course of course and shared their view on a discussion thread, did not indicate that refund without return was an actual obligation on the seller.

I made my initial comment, as I felt the OPs OP implied that they felt that had done all they could to provide a satisfactory resolution for the buyer. 

I don't see that responsive communication and a timely refund is something a buyer should have to feel grateful and thankful for or the only action a seller is able to take. 

Rather, it can be good practice to offer amends to disgruntled buyers, and make some attempt to appease them, which can include refunding without return or even offering a discount on future purchases. I think amends are very appropriate when a seller knows they have made a misleading error in their listing.

I suppose what underpinned my comments more generally, was that whilst a seller may have little real or perceived control over a buyers response and actions, they more often than not are able to influence the outcomes of a transaction in a range of ways, throughout the transaction process, including when it has not gone well. 

[digital*ghost]

I said that because a lot of the time, "I would have" isn't too far removed from "you should have", and/or can be very easily interpreted as such. I definitely wasn't trying to suggest the buyer should feel grateful for the response, more that under these specific circumstances I don't think it's a response that deserves criticism, or - if it so happened to be the case - prompted further anger from the buyer.

A seller is more than free to go above and beyond what they're obligated to provide, of course, or provide an array of other, or additional, options, but the main thing I was trying to say about that is that it shouldn't be an expectation, therefore not receiving a response like refunding without return shouldn't be a let down or incite further ire (I also don't mean to suggest that it wouldn't inconvenience someone to have to return something, or that annoyance about that is unjustified, I'm more referring to the folk who are more ticked off that they have to return it full stop). 

In saying that, we don't actually even know how the return was facilitated, or whether it was a condition the seller gave, and/or who paid for it, so that aspect is all conjecture at the moment. 

Just speaking personally, a buyer will have an infinitely better chance of getting the absolute best solution from me, if their approach is at least reasonable. Obviously if I've made an error or something I've done has otherwise caused inconvenience, I don't expect everything to be sweetness and light, but it's harder to negotiate a good solution with someone that is rude and disrespectful, and many times that will result in a less amenable seller - or at least, it will result in a less amenable me.