Dear Australia Post, We have heard you ! As AusPost customers we are so aware how hard it can be to do your job and therefore, we decided to apply the same type of policy you have proposed active from August 1st, 2016: AusPost customers will start charging AusPost Management Team and your CEO for the following:
1. failing to deliver parcels but dropping a card instead (this will incur a $20 fuel fee and $150 annoyance fee);
2. Failing to card your customers at all while a parcel is waiting (AusPost will be charged by customer a $250 fee per occurrence with a three strikes you're out policy for the management team)
3. for every time a parcel gets "stuck" in one of your sorting centres, unable to leave and being held hostage in Chullora or your Sunshine West AusPost detention centres, the customer will charge AusPost a fee of $100 per day of delay, payable by your management team, to your customer (sender) and a formal apology with gift card worth $250 for the adressee.
We, your customers, are aware that Auspost would like to do nothing more than deliver our mail in a drawn out, illogically long fashion:
I mean who would even contemplate wanting their parcels to be delivered quickly by Auspost???
That is obviously not the image you have been working towards.
Instead we, your customers, know that you want us to pay an increasing amount of money to guarantee the slowest postal service possible.
Why not this slogan? : Australia Post: the joy when you open the1979 letter your aunt Sybil sent you in 2015.
Nothing can beat that surely !
