@bluestocking2, you gave that feedback teeth.
Had you replied with a calm oil-on-troubled-waters, well-reasoned, professional response, you'd have mitigated the feedback. Instead, you flew into an upset state and expressed that in your feedback reply.
You might not have meant to give a bit of a passive-aggressive tone in your replies to the buyer, but that's how it is striking me...
- You refer to the buyer's unhappiness with the sale as a "First World Problem". That is the sort of comment which is likely to exacerbate the buyer's irritation, and cause her (I think you said the buyer was a female?) to think you are dismissing her dissatisfaction. When someone feels dismissed, that fans the flames.
- You are talking to the "audience" and doing the feedback equivalent of rolling your eyes and flinging out your hands by saying "A dress, folks", tacitly inviting other eBayers to join you in considering this a trivial matter. This is not likely to soothe the buyer.
- By saying "A minor nuisance at most", again you are trivialising the buyer's feelings. (I may agree that a dress is not, in the scheme of things, the most important thing in life. Good health, family, friends, being happy and safe - much more important, yes. But... $350 is not exactly peanuts for a dress... so the buyer may well feel justified in being irritated.)
- You say "Anger management, ladies!" - that sounds patronising. You may not have meant it that way, but that's how it's going to strike at least some people.
Then you add "I suspect a set-up". That comes out of nowhere and really doesn't help your case.
The garment - nightrobe? over-robe? - is very beautiful. I note that you listed it as used, in "good condition". The buyer incorrectly stated that you listed it as being in "very good condition". That's a point you could have used without letting your emotions get involved in the feedback.
I note that your listing had stock photos as the main picture and the next two pictures. You did include your own photos, but in my view you should use your own photo as the main image, to avoid giving a misleading impression of the item condition. (It does not look "new" in your photos, whereas the stock photos of course show it in pristine condition.)
I don't quite know why... but the photo quality seems a little muddy and lacking clarity. Other photos that you've taken for other listings are much better, so I'm not sure why that is.
Also, it is a very good sales tactic to describe any signs of wear etc meticulously, along with including close-ups of such areas. Remember that buyers tend not to look at all of the photos; this is especially true if they're shopping on their smart phones or tablets.
I agree that it would be helpful if you listed actual measurements in the listing description. Mind you, that's not the main point with regard to this buyer, because the buyer's complaint has nothing to do with size and everything to do with item condition. Clearly the buyer expected a better condition garment than the one she received... It may well be that the buyer's expectations were too high, but perceptions and expectations vary between individuals. The best thing to do with s/h clothes is to over-deliver, and if a buyer's disappointed and messages you to tell you so, don't get into a polarising discussion about it. Just say "Sorry you're disappointed; you can return this for a full refund".
Had I been you, I would have replied to the buyer's feedback along these lines:
I'm so sorry you're not happy with this beautiful and rare garment, listed as being in "good condition". Numerous photos showing the actual garment in detail were included in the listing. As previously offered, you are welcome to return this for a full refund.
It avoids sounding defensive, but it corrects just enough without getting personal or heated. It sounds professional. It reassures potential buyers.
The less I say about your "positive" feedback to the buyer, the better. I'll only say that it would have been better avoided; it detracts from how you present yourself as a seller. Dealing with customers - the unreasonable, the hasty, the whole lot of them - is par for the course, and you should be able to respond calmly without a knee-jerk reaction. Think of negative feedback that you receive as an opportunity to show how you can excel in customer service and problem resolution.
At any rate, I hope your future sales proceed without such angst and hiccups.
