Sellers refusing to leave feedback for buyers until positive feedback left for them

[wendybargainseeker]

I am quite new to ebay and already several times experienced sellers refusing to leave feedback for me until I have left positive feedback for them. I generally pay immediately I win the auction and with my first two purchases the seller then left feedback and I left feedback when I received the item. 

Since then I've had several sellers refusing to leave feedback for me until I left positive feedback for them. I think this is unethical. Positive feedback for me as a buyer should not be based on what I say about the seller but about my behaviour as a buyer.

I am wondering what other buyers think about this. 

[wendybargainseeker]

When you say the sellers "refused" to leave you feedback until you left it for them....

Did you ask them to leave you feedback? YES, I ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD CONSIDER LEAVING FEEDBACK FOR ME.

Did you ask them why they hadn't yet left you feedback? YES, THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY WERE WAITING TO TO RECEIVE FEEDBACK FROM ME AND THAT IF MY FEEDBACK WAS POSITIVE, THEY WOULD LEAVE POSITIVE FEEDBACK FOR ME.

Was that then their response to you? That they would only leave you feedback once you had given it to them? YES

[wendybargainseeker]

And I will ask why you seem to feel this need for feedback. Unless you are intending on selling and want to insulate against possible negs, what is the purpose of your (positive only) feedback?

NO, I DON'T INTEND TO BE A SELLER. I HAVE ONLY EVER BOUGHT THINGS.

GOOD QUESTION AS TO WHY I FEEL THE NEED FOR FEEDBACK. GUESS BECAUSE I PAY QUICKLY AND DO THE RIGHT THINGS, I LIKE TO SEE THAT REFLECTED.

[*sparklz*]

Sellers are selling items not selling to get feedback.

Buyers are buying items not paying to get feedback.

Other than reading the feedback what use is it really?

I guess one can print it off and stick on the loo wall to read 🙂

[wendybargainseeker]

THANK YOU FOR THE POSITIVE, INFORMATIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE REPLY BELOW.

I never ask, as a seller or a buyer.

If I am happy as a buyer, I try to leave polite, detailed feedback for the seller, to help them with their business.

If I do not have feedback from a buyer, as a seller, I assume that they were happy enough with the transaction.

If a seller does not leave me feedback, I don't worry about it. Lots don't. Once you reach a certain point, it doesn't matter for a buyer.

Some sellers will block buyers with only a few feedback, but after that, as sellers can no longer leave a neg for a buyer, it is not very relevant.

Also bear in mind that sellers can choose who they sell to in more general terms.

Politeness and a fair assessment of a seller by leaving them fair feedback goes a long way.

[*crikey*mate*]

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@wendybargainseeker wrote:

And I will ask why you seem to feel this need for feedback. Unless you are intending on selling and want to insulate against possible negs, what is the purpose of your (positive only) feedback?

NO, I DON'T INTEND TO BE A SELLER. I HAVE ONLY EVER BOUGHT THINGS.

GOOD QUESTION AS TO WHY I FEEL THE NEED FOR FEEDBACK. GUESS BECAUSE I PAY QUICKLY AND DO THE RIGHT THINGS, I LIKE TO SEE THAT REFLECTED.

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so, kind of like a star chart, eh? A visual record of your good behaviour?

[wendybargainseeker]

The same as a seller wanting to demonstrate a good track record, I see nothing wrong with being a buyer who wanting to demonstrate a good track record.

[digital*ghost]

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@wendybargainseeker wrote:

I can assure you they were refusing.

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Ok, well I'm going to be very frank with you here. As stated, I leave FB for buyers after I receive payment. I didn't always, and have 'experimented' with it a little, but one of the reasons I now do it that way is because being asked for feedback by buyers annoys the bejeesus out of me, so the most effective way of avoiding being asked is to leave it before I can be asked (doesn't stop everyone, though, I sometimes get messages with payment notifications, i.e. the buyer has written their "request" for feedback during checkout, so I get that as soon as I am notified something has been sold / paid for) .

That might sound unreasonable to some, but being asked actually ticks me off quite a lot, because I see it as my decision to make, not someone elses', and as soon as someone asks it's implying my leaving feedback is obligatory rather than voluntary, plus I resent someone else trying to have a hand in the decisions I make as a seller. I know some people might not mean it that way, but that's the way I take it. 

Since I'd really rather not be annoyed with any of my customers straight off the bat and for what I recognise amounts to a relatively superficial reason, I'll leave FB first (along with some other reasons, mind you). But while I'm being honest about it, being asked gets my back up and makes me not want to give it at all, and it's entirely possible I'm not the only one the request affects in that way, no matter how polite the request is written. 

[green-gifts-mkd]

Hi, I don't leave immediate feedback and I'll explain why. I think a buyer's responsiblity in a purchase goes well beyond making mere payment. With my items, many of which are personalised for wedding/event dates etc., the buyer's responsibility to pick the item up from their local PO is pivotal (if they aren't home on the day of delivery). If the buyer is slack, and doesn't get to the PO within 10 business days (in some areas) or after the final reminder card, this can result in the item being returned to me.

During the slow return process to me, the buyer's special date might pass. I am left with an unsellable, useless to me item that took hours to make. I then get hassled for refunds because the buyer did not meet their responsibility to pick the item up. I always check the online tracking and remind the buyer via eBay messaging, then later again by SMS (if possible), to politely remind them to collect their item well BEFORE the time it may be returned to sender.

If I have to keep checking the online tracking, I will not only block this buyer, but will sometimes not leave feedback for them either. Too many hassles to avoid a PayPal case being started for INR. By the way, in the instances where a case has been opened, these buyers have not been successful in receiving a refund. PayPal deemed them responsible for not picking their item up. So, that is why I believe a transaction is not finalised as soon as payment is made. The buyer still has a responsibility at their end.

[*crikey*mate*]

[chameleon54 · Accepted solution]

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@wendybargainseeker wrote:

The same as a seller wanting to demonstrate a good track record, I see nothing wrong with being a buyer who wanting to demonstrate a good track record.

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Hi Wendy, I can understand as a new buyer you want to get a few feedbacks on the board. Most of us where the same when we started. What you may not realise is that sellers are ONLY ALLOWED to leave Positive feedback for buyers, so it is really pretty irrelevant as a buyers record. I think this is one of the reasons some sellers have a pretty low care factor about buyers feedback. I have automatic systems on my stores that leave pos. feedback for the buyer once the same has been left for me. I run a private account that is not automated. On this account I try to leave feedback for new members such as yourself, as I realise it can seem important for some members. I also leave glowing pos. feedback when requested politely by other buyers. For the rest I have to admit I dont bother. Like many sellers I feel the system that only allows positive feedback to be left for buyers even when they refuse to pay for items is a bit of a farce with no real value or relevance as to a buyers performance. I try to describe my items acurately, I pack well and post quickly. I try to answer questions quickly and resolve any problems politely. I feel this shows respect for my customers much more than some ebay, always positive,  smiley stamp system. Feedback for sellers, now thats another matter.