Adults with Autism

[grandmoon]

Am I expecting too much from an adult who has autism to speak politely to people.

eg:  When she come to one of our volunteers and says in an aggressive manner "Get me a cup of coffee" very a please or thank you.

[azureline**]

Expectations are one thing, reality another. I suppose it depends on her condition and abilities.

[grandmoon]

I am not sure what her problems are but she has told us that she suffers with autism amoungest other health problems.

[azureline**]

If she is an independant adult, then I would suggest you remind her she needs to be polite..... or get her own coffee.

[catsnknots]

she needs to learn that she either speaks politiely or is not welcome. No one needs to put up with disrespect just because they are serving people with a disability. 

Pull her aside and privatley tell her how you expect her to ask for something.. ask her to repeat it politely for you so that you know she knows how to ask. Tell her that is how she is to ask for anything in the future because asking the other way makes others feel upset and that is not right. 

Chances are that her parents just gave in to her demands and didn't even realise what was going on and what they taught her. 

Please and thank you's are very hard for my son but he manages it with some gentle reminding. 

[*elizabeths-mum*]

The first autistic adult I came across professionally was a lovely polite man. The only time he ever lost it was when rituals and obsessions were upset. He was mildly intellectually disabled as well and this was over 30 years ago when behavioural expectations were higher and autism was less well known so people wouldn't accept rudeness as easily as we do today.

[grandmoon]

Now I need to work out how to speak to her so she understands.  She at times is very articulate.

[azureline**]

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@grandmoon wrote:

Now I need to work out how to speak to her so she understands.  She at times is very articulate.

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Just as you would speak to anyone else.

[shoptilludroptara]

hi

coming from someone who has an autistic child(adult now)and 1 still young child

i would speak to the parents first

and explain the situation

no all autistic people are the same their are different ranges and types

and if you dont phrase it correctly it can be taken the wrong way by some with autism

please speak to the parents first if that doesnt work then speak to someone who is trained

to work with autistic people with different ranges

and no is not the way you would speak to just anyone else

you need to remember they have in laymans term a click in the brain(easy explanation)its so much more

and phrasing is so important.also if you want them to do something(break it down)

they might not take to much in at once depending on the individual

like::

1::can you please take this blue pen out of my hand

2:now can you please put the blue pen in your hand on your desk

this i have found works wonders

tara

[grandmoon]

Unfortunately her parents are deceased.  She is her middle aged