Alzheimers thread

[punch*drunk]

Couldnt find the old one so I thought I'd start another.

How is everyone going, havent seen Gill around for a while, I wonder how she's getting on.

My dad is quickly getting worse to the point where I will probably need to move him into high care now. We are also having low blood pressure and high blood sugar problems. Waiting on some tests to see what thats all about.

He is now at the point where by the time he takes his seatbelt off, he starts to put it back on again. If I turn a corner in the corridor before him, he forgets where I've gone and what he was doing. He is also starting to forget how to eat and becoming a little bit difficult with the staff.

😞

[azureline**]

So sorry Punch that the day was not so good for you, however, the meds change may change things again, it's difficult to get accurate scores when they are so sedated they don't function well.

I am very happy with the high care dad gets, he had an upset last week and he has had a setback but starting to come good again now. He is still mobile which seems to be what keeps them functioning.

The family agreed on the DNR last year, so they just keep renewing it now, every year.

Yes, he asked because he knew you would do what was best for him.  I hope tomorrow is a better day. 🙂

[lloydslights]

It is a difficult time for you and the family and your Dad.  

For your Dad to request the DNR, he has already made the decision.  And he would have thought it over for a fairly long period before announcing it.  

Just as my Dad must have done to tell all his children in such a calm and supportive way of his heart failing rapidly and that he was ready to leave this mad world.  It didn't surprise us that he had made a decision, he was so strong as a father  in guiding us through our life and he was now guiding us again to accept his inevitable passing - without medical interference.

Time. Strength. Acceptance. Decision. 

All at a time when we only want our Daddy.

DEB

[azureline**]

I had cause to send in some feedback about the meals recently at the home, basically, the weekends are not the best for dinner time.

Anyway, on advice of staff I filled out the form..... and got this in reply....................

(I have deleted half of it so it stays impersonal) Have not seen the Burlodge yet.

I have spoken to the cook and discussed some options. The main thing that will help us with the food will be the introduction of the Burlodge. This is like a big refrigerator on one side of the tray and hot on the other side. We have now obtained the Burlodge and await  instruction  to operate it correctly and safely. Once we have completed this then we hope that the hot meals stay hot and the cold meals stay cold.

Please be assured that the meals are nutritional balance and subjected to the audits of a dietician. The omelette are pre packaged but are usually a hit with the residents.

Now, that is ok, happy they are doing something but....... pre packaged omelettes???? seriously, it was a crepe, if anything. I will wait and see but I can't see how the above is audited as ok by a dietician............ am I asking too much? 

[punch*drunk]

eeeeew, prepackaged omelette sounds terrible.

Admittedly I havent seen too many of dads meals but I know he'd eat pretty much anything. There has been the odd occasion he said he hadnt liked his dinner, but he usually wasnt able able to tell me what he'd even eaten so I didnt worry too much about it.

When you consider what it costs to stay in care they really shouldnt be skimping on the weekend staff. They need care everyday, not just weekdays.

I put in the paperwork to admit dad to his new home today, moving in on Friday, I'm a little nervous about it all and I'm going away for the long weekend so I feel like I'm dumping him there and running. My sisters will have to take up the slack for a few days till I get back.

[azureline**]

I am sure he will settle in ok, if all his things are there and he will just be pleased to see you when you get back 🙂

Dad always enjoys his meals, sometimes he needs to be fed them, mostly he does it himself.

Yes, cost is a factor but they shouldn't skimp on food.

[cherry*135]

I can't see that prepackaged omelettes need be on a menu in a residential home that has its own kitchen and cooking staff. It doesn't take long to make an omelette with fresh eggs.

[ashjoma]

My father is 91 in January and I care for him at home with me. He is asking me the same things over and over which gets frustrating.

He forgets to shower now, so I have to remind him and take him and shower him and ensure clean clothes. I also give him a better shave than what he now does ( I have to get an electric razor ).

Tottered off without his walking stick today forgetting it.

[lyndal1838]

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@azureline** wrote:

Now, that is ok, happy they are doing something but....... pre packaged omelettes???? seriously, it was a crepe, if anything. I will wait and see but I can't see how the above is audited as ok by a dietician............ am I asking too much? 

---

Unfortunately you are asking too much.

My father was in quite a small Nursing Home where the meals could be more indvidual but even there they used prepackaged everything.

Before he went into the Home he was having Sustagen on a regular basis and his doctor recommended that we keep on with it as his appetite was very poor..

It had taken me ages to get him to drink it....it was not until I mixed it in milk rather than wate that he decided he liked it.  I was assured that he would get his Sustagen every day...he did, but it was in a tetra pack and water based.  Needless to say he never drank it.

I finally had to arrange to keep his own milk and Sustagen in the kitchen and for someone to go in every day to get it for him.   Despite the huge fees he was paying they could not even mix a glass of milk and Sustagen and hand it to him....and his room was nearly opposite the kitchen.

[the_great_she_elephant]

I just have to keep reminding myself that dad asked me to be his POA because he knew I would do the best for him and follow his wishes

This is a bit off topic, but I thought it might help you feel better about the decisions you may have to make - especially the DNR one.

Mr Elephant and I are both in our seventies and in remarkably good health, but realistically we know the time will come when this will probably not be the case. Our biggest anxiety has been  the thought of being kept alive long after any quality of life has gone, and to that end we are both looking at the legalities of "Living Wills" - stating what we want and don't want should a situation arise when we are no longer in a position to make our wishes clear.

We have discussed this at length with our only daughter and asked her if she would be willing to take on the responsibility of POA and make those kind of decisions on our behalf, should the need arise. She understands what that may entail even to the extent (should it become legal) of requesting euthanasia on our behalf  and she also understands and accepts the emotional burden this will place on her. 

We are so grateful to her and  trust her to have the courage to carry out our wishes, as I'm sure your dad trusted you when he gave you POA. It is a huge responsibility, but you accepted it in love, and that love will give you the strength to do what you know your dad would expect of you.

[azureline**]

I have no complaints about the nursing staff at all, we are very lucky in that regard, they all go above and beyond on a daily basis. It's the new kitchen staff that are my issue and I had no idea they were still trying to work it out in there, assumed they had switched to a new one and kept her. (Not so, it appears.)

Seriously, how hard is it to know that salads placed on a hot plate with hot food and lidded, will wilt and be hot? in the space of time it takes to be wheeled to the unit?

The other 2 wings have a bain marie to serve from but it would not work in this wing.

We have had a number of cooks that have perhaps had different standards. We hope this will not continue but if it does please let me know at your earliest convenience.

Once again I think you for your feedback.