on 25-08-2014 09:39 AM
A prominent Australian psychologist has warned Australia is currently raising a generation of spoilt brats, because their parents are "**bleep**" and "never say no".
Dr Michael Carr-Gregg believes today's parents have a lot to answer for, and there may be serious long-term consequences for Australia.
An evolution in parenting styles over the last 20 years is to blame for the influx of bad parenting, Dr Carr-Gregg said.
"We've had people moving to these artificial villages called cities, primarily to get jobs and in doing so, a lot of the kinship networks have been destroyed.
An evolution in parenting styles over the last 20 years is to blame for the influx of bad parenting, Dr Carr-Gregg said.
"We've had people moving to these artificial villages called cities, primarily to get jobs and in doing so, a lot of the kinship networks have been destroyed.
"A lot of the wisdom around parenting, which was derived from grandparents, for example, has no longer been so readily available."
The consequences of bad parenting has both short- and long-term effects, warned Dr Carr-Gregg.
"The short-term consequences you can see in restaurants and in waiting rooms and in airports throughout Australia, where you have these kids who are just completely feral, running out of control.
"Parents don't do anything about it because they're frightened of being seen as bad parents or frightened to say no."
Dr Carr-Gregg said this style of parenting has major effects on the mental health of children and adolescents as they grow up.
"Long-term, I think what we're doing is infantilising a lot of children into incompetence."
Shopping on Friday, a kid was running up and down the aisle upsetting ppls shopping cart and running into ppl. His Dad never said a word. I wanted to tell the kid to stop his mad running but I wasn't game lol.
26-08-2014 01:31 PM - edited 26-08-2014 01:31 PM
@lealta wrote:I'm sorry, but I totally disagree with this post disparaging working mothers. A woman can work and take her children to day care and they will turn out just fine. I went back to work eight weeks after each of my kids were born. The woman who took care of them, loved them as if they were her own. The secret with day care for me, was finding somewhere that I knew my children were going to be well taken care of. I personally wanted my children with a private sitter who only had a couple of children to watch because I felt they would get more nurturing there, than in a huge daycare center with dozens and dozens of children. But I do know there are also really good places where there are lots of children.
Many children of workig mothers have turned out to be wonderful adults.
___________________________
I am pleased that you are satisfied with the style of raising your children. Well done to you.
However, I feel we have come full circle.
Family and community raising a child. Looking at the "wild" for parenting solutions.
You had a neighbour who cared for your children as if they were her own. She didn't go out to work. She stayed home and nurtured her own and anothers' children. A meerkat sort of scenario.
Recently, I have witnessed neighbouring grumbling children and parents who have chosen to live the frantic life choices. It is not a style of family living that means "family" to me.
DEB
on 26-08-2014 01:32 PM
on 26-08-2014 01:38 PM
Recently, I have witnessed neighbouring grumbling children and parents who have chosen to live the frantic life choices. It is not a style of family living that means "family" to me.
It might not be your idea of "family", but luckily, you don't get to interpret the definition for everyone. I have a wonderful family. A loving husband and two children. By the way, my children weren't taken care of by a neighbor. It was a licensed day-care provider. She just ran a very small operation.
on 26-08-2014 01:41 PM
on 26-08-2014 02:23 PM
I think it's pretty marvellous that we now have choices about what to do.
I totally agree Katy. I think it's great if a woman wants and is able to stay home after her children are born. Many women do not have that opportunity. And many, could manage to squeek by without that second income, but they would just be getting by.
on 26-08-2014 02:46 PM
@mugssy65 wrote:
Yes Deb, unfortunately my daughter HAS to work, with private rentals starting at $350 a week for the smallest unit and public housing being a ten year wait and Perth being one of the most expensive cities to live in, the pension for a single mother with one child is just not viable, she could always go out and have a few more kids thus gaining her more from the tax payer but that's just not her way. The problem is that the daycare centres are not even allowed to use the words NO or NAUGHTY and punishment is not allowed. His mum is now signing a behaviour management waiver, which means he will be placed in time out when he miss behaves, a concept he is familiar with.
How ridiculous is that? Two words that little tackers actually understand ie; NO and Naughty and daycare centres have been banned from using them. Boggles my brain it really does...
Can anyone explain to me why these terms are so frowned upon these days?
on 26-08-2014 03:34 PM
on 26-08-2014 03:45 PM
@mugssy65 wrote:
Secondhand I think it's for the same reasons a child can no longer get an F in reading writing and arithmetic nor can it come first second or third in a race! We might just damage their fragile little egos.
your kids must live in a different world than mine.
our races all have first, second, third etc.
if a child is failing in reading they take steps to help with that. there should be no f because all kids should learn how to read adequately.
on 26-08-2014 04:03 PM
@azureline** wrote:
@mugssy65 wrote:
Bella we are having all sorts of problems with my youngest grandson, he is a daycare kid, mum is single and has to work. M...is two and a half and has realised that they can't discipline him at daycare, their hands are tied! He hits pokes tongues and yells at his careers, he wouldn't dare do this if his mum or any family member was around. Daycare isn't allowed to use the word no or naughty, not allowed to give time out and a short sharp smack on the bum would see the centre closed and the owners in court!
What can you do? He is to young to reason with 4 hours after the offence was committed.change day care.................... get some psychological or OT therapy.
In Qld, may be different in WA?
on 26-08-2014 04:09 PM
if you say no you should always offer an explanation.
So 'no you can't have that because there aren't enough left'.
Or
'NO! Biting is unkind'