Be nice to new parents

[lurker172602]

Yesterday I went, with my DiL and her brand new baby, to their local shopping mall. It was her first venture out of home, sans my son, since the baby was born and naturally she was a bit anxious about everything.
LP (littlest prince) was a bit unsettled and crying, but we knew he had just been fed and changed and was ok so we were just carrying on pushing him in his pram waiting for him to settle.
Several people passing by gave us sympathetic looks or little nice comments except for one woman (40ish I'd say)who shot us the most horrible "do something for that baby you terrible mother" look. I tried to make light of it by telling DiL that she was probably only jealous because she didn't have a baby as beautiful as ours etc but, of course, she (Ms evil eye) was the one G took most notice of and was upset by.
New parents have enough to contend with already. Please don't make it harder for them by making judgements about things that may be happening that you know absolutely nothing about. Or, if you must please keep them to yourself.
Thank you.
Rant over.

[azureline**]

I think your DIL is in for a difficult time if a look is bothering her. My advice...... don't make eye contact with anyone who isn't smiling.
Secondly , some people might have sensory issues with particular noises.

[jessicadazzler97]

Same thing happens to me. If I take my cousin (a toddler, yes much younger than me) out, and they start to make a fuss, people shoot me mean glances. Guess I'm old enough that its definitely possible they could be my own child, so people just assume I'm the mother.

The truth of the matter is, there will always be people in life who try to bring you down. If you act unconcerned about it, your DiL will learn from you about how to deal with it.

[polksaladallie]

Which way does the pram face?

[lurker172602]

It's one of those ones that fit the car capsule now (so facing the "driver") and convert to forward facing later.

When I say G was upset she wasn't distract or anything like that. It's just that (and it's the same for all of us I think) it's always the nasty moments that stick in your mind.

Maybe some people just have short memories. They forget what it's like to be a nervous new mum, on your first journey with your precious cargo outside your body. Let alone all the crazy hormones going off in your system. My DiL is, and will be fine, I just wish some people (looking at you Ms evil eye) were not so quick to judge others, when they know nothing about the circumstances.

[lloydslights]

LP (littlest prince) was a bit unsettled and crying,...............I'm like that too when I go  into noisy, germ infested shopping malls.

DEB

[lionrose.7]

Perhaps the women was like me, when I hear a baby cry I want to pick them up and comfort them.

I am always nice to any mother, it is just that thing inside you that you cant help wanting to pick the baby up.

[imastawka]

I second that, lion.    I also just want to pick them up and cuddle them.

Lurker,  I highly recommend Pricilla Dunstan's DVD  'The Dunstan Baby Language'

It worked beautifully for my daughter for her last 2.

[polksaladallie]

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@lurker172602 wrote:
It's one of those ones that fit the car capsule now (so facing the "driver") and convert to forward facing later.

When I say G was upset she wasn't distract or anything like that. It's just that (and it's the same for all of us I think) it's always the nasty moments that stick in your mind.

Maybe some people just have short memories. They forget what it's like to be a nervous new mum, on your first journey with your precious cargo outside your body. Let alone all the crazy hormones going off in your system. My DiL is, and will be fine, I just wish some people (looking at you Ms evil eye) were not so quick to judge others, when they know nothing about the circumstances.

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Lots of kudos to your DIL for choosing that pram.  Research has proven that the stress levels of babies put into prams where they cannot see their parent/carer are extremely high.

When I go shopping, I see nine out of ten prams facing forward, and I can't bear to see the frightened faces of those babies.  If you watch babies in backward facing prams, their eyes may dart away for a second, but otherwise never leave the parent.   It is so obvious that this eye contact and interaction is so important.  How can someone talk to their baby if they can't see it?

DIL (and Grandma) shouldn't care at all what others think.  She should do whatever works for her.

[lionrose.7]

Polks I so agree, did a thread on here once about it ages ago and was shouted down, about thoses prams that face away from Parents.

I saw a guy pushing a child who was crying because he could not see the sun in her face, QLD sun poor child.

I said to him the sun is in her eyes and he said F--k off.

I did say it nicely, cant even tell people like that