Good morning *sunnies for the bright smiley face!* B-)
Jill's back! Your three little munchkins are gorgeous!
I came home from work last night to a pile of cardboard boxes. He's started packing and although I felt a little 'punch' in my stomach it wasn't too bad. I don't know how I'm going to feel on any given day but I'm very aware the day he moves out and days afterwards I might howl with grief. Which is understandable. ๐
He moves out on Sat 19th. I'm working that afternoon and my boss knows and is prepared for any serious crying sessions required in the loo. :-x
I'm arranging for friends and family to visit me for the next 3 days after M.Day.
Can't afford a holiday at a resort unless the kitteh's get a paper route .. :^O Koko - I understand and I will make sure I'm not on my own. :-x
wow it's really happening! I think there's a part of me that still doesn't really believe he's leaving me. I thought we'd be together forever.
BUT - and there's a big butt :8} - I mean but ..
I do realise I wasn't fully happy with him. This is my chance to develop a new and happy life just like so many of you here have done after a relationship breakup/betrayal.
Also - a part of me must appreciate what's happened because it's certainly deepened my Buddhist faith. I've chanted for hours in the last month. In fact I've done more chanting in one month than I've done in the last 6.
As a result, my health is improving (Inconspicuous Benefit). I no longer seem to be bothered with the Polymyalgia (pain and stiffness in the legs and shoulders etc) and so I'm getting myself off the Cortisone slowly.
I feel so much stronger and hopeful, emotionally and spiritually. I've been able to let go of another toxic friendship (during a crisis you certainly find out who your true friends are).
and all my chanting/prayer I've been doing is to change my karma into good karma. I can't blame Mr Ex. My happiness or unhappiness is my responsibility and I'm praying to create my own happiness. What Mr Ex has done or not done has made causes for his karma - in this lifetime or the next but it has nothing to do with me now.
I'm praying for wisdom, compassion and strength. I'm praying to transform my arrogance (believe me I gots it!) and my foolishness and not allow these negative qualities to influence my life.
I'm starting to get it - The Mystic Law/Universal Law and if it wasn't for Mr Ex and his actions I would still be stagnating in my faith. Our greatest 'teachers' are the ones that cause us the most suffering.
The Buddha says "use your suffering to create good fortune".
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