Cat_mioux's new home

[cat_mioux]

:^O

[Anonymous]

have you been living together for the ten years??

[chuk_77]

flannie decided to have a couple of drinks big mistake i don't hold back when I drink, so let it all out. He has been my best friend for nearly 20 years I cant just throw it all away but don't see a way back or forward with him and at the same time don't see a way forward without him.

[chuk_77]

have you been living together for the ten years??

:-x little stars
been living together for 9 years but honestly I don't want his house unless he is in it it's hard enough sleeping in "our" bed alone i could never take his house from him

[b3llag1na]

Hi again chuk...

Ok I'd be advising YOU to stay put. Is it really his house, or something that was aquired while you were together? if so- you have rights too!

I had typed out a looonngg post but i hit the wrong mouse button and it went *pouf*
In summary, you have to realise that you can't make someone love you, no matter how much you want it.

I am one of very few here who's marriage survived the traumas, and I can say that it was never easy. I guess my OH realised that short term gratification doesn't have the same satisfaction as family, shared experiences and a truely committed relationship does. But is was hard work, and it took a long time.
It took even longer for me to trust him again.

[chuk_77]

he bought just before we were together, in august we would have been together 11 years so he has owned it 11-12 years, in his name he pays mortgage well I was when his hit a rough patch. But I have put in financially to the house upkeep, bills yadda yadda but have no desire to take it from him. Be different if we had kids but as we don't the house is not an issue.
I konw I can't make him love me I just want to know how/when/why it stopped. He cant answer me that. He won't even do the division of things with me he just said take everything but his lappy, clothes and CD's. Fraid not he is going to do it with me if it kills me

[Anonymous]

flannie decided to have a couple of drinks big mistake i don't hold back when I drink, so let it all out. He has been my best friend for nearly 20 years I cant just throw it all away but don't see a way back or forward with him and at the same time don't see a way forward without him.

there is a way forward ,i promise ,you just can't see it now as its all to raw .
I agree with b3 ,you need to find out where you stand legally
I know you don't want to hear this ,but you really do .
You have invested 9 years into that house ,and you would be entitled to something !

even a week is still early days .
If it where me i would fight for the relationship
but I would be prepared ,know my rights and fight for what I was entitled to Iykwim.

[Anonymous]

chuk have you got family and friends for support also??

[Anonymous]

night chuk
hope you manage to get some sleep
Try and have regular meals too if you can xx

[kyliecrv]

ok deep breath
I've opened this thread so often to post but find it hard to type the words. But I am now in the same boat as cat. 10 year relationship plus a 9 year friendship before that gone. One of the MIAs told me to come here so here I am scared, broken alone sad and finding really hard to see a future without him.

Chuk, Im soooo sorry to hear this 😞
Take as long as you need to vent or cry or whatever, Cat has been very inspirational in the way she handled everything, I wish you much strength to get you through the coming weeks/ months XXX

[the_great_she_elephant]

If it where me i would fight for the relationship
but I would be prepared ,know my rights and fight for what I was entitled to Iykwim.

I think this is really good advice.
Athe moment, understanadly, you are floundering and feel helpless and bewildered. Taking positive steps to find out what your legal entitlements are will at least give you a sense of having some control over your situation.
And yes, I would make him sit down and draw up an inventory with you - that will force him to take some responsibility for what he is doing to you.