Cat_mioux's new home

[cat_mioux]

:^O

[the_great_she_elephant]

Sorry, that should read 'At the moment, understandably....'

[kyliecrv]

I agree with she-eles post #2985
Force him to take responsibility!

What's with these guys dropping a bomb and then sitting back while the shocked and devistated woman needs to run around trying to make plans not even understanding the 'whole story'? X-(



Chuk, do you have any suspicions that he might've met someone else? Or he's just going through a "stage"?

Im glad you dont have kids to worry about, but sad for your animals 😞

[icyfroth]

he bought just before we were together, in august we would have been together 11 years so he has owned it 11-12 years, in his name he pays mortgage well I was when his hit a rough patch. But I have put in financially to the house upkeep, bills yadda yadda but have no desire to take it from him. Be different if we had kids but as we don't the house is not an issue.
I konw I can't make him love me I just want to know how/when/why it stopped. He cant answer me that. He won't even do the division of things with me he just said take everything but his lappy, clothes and CD's. Fraid not he is going to do it with me if it kills me

That's heartbreaking 😞

The first thought is of course, why?
But in my experience, when love walks out the door, you can't force it to came back and I think you've seen that.

You could of course stand on your rights and go for half the house and, well, he's not even contesting your right to whatever you want to take.
Whether, of course, you have the heart and stomach for a long drawn out legal process is another matter.
Looks like he wants to move on and so should you.

Hard as it will be for you, you will find it does get easier with the passage of time, and eventually he will be just a bittersweet memory.

You will find help from unexpected quarters. Coming here was a good first step.

I wish you courage.

[tende60]

Chuk

Lots of good ladies with wonderful support in here.

So sorry to hear your news.



Cat and OKers :-x

[freddie*rooster]

G'morning happy Oker's :-x

I've been a bad freddie, choc chip hot x buns with butter for breaky, nom nom - 😮

[clair.de.lune]

I've been a bad freddie, choc chip hot x buns with butter for breaky, nom nom - 😮

We know, you've told the whole forum *yawn*

[my2cuddlycats_not]

G'morning happy Oker's :-x

I've been a bad freddie, choc chip hot x buns with butter for breaky, nom nom - 😮

As long as you enjoyed them, then that's ok..... oops make that okay.... don't want to mistake that for the OK's.... my head hurts.... :^O

[cat_mioux]

chuk I'm so sorry 😞


I also wonder what has prompted your partner to say he needs his space.

But first things first.

You may be feeling in shock and it's really important to remember to eat and drink. Even if all you can manage is sips of water and a piece of toast. You don't want to feel worse than you already do and taking care of your body comes helps you find the energy to deal with this awful situation.

I would also sit him down and make definite plans about what you are taking, what he is keeping, make him discuss the practical issues. Then do the hardest part -

leave and do not contact him. Make your mantra NO CONTACT. If you have to discuss finances or practicalities, communicate by text or email but still keep it brief and to the point.

Then get on with your life.


This NO CONTACT works in two ways. It shoves reality right in the face of your partner. It shows him what life will be like without you. He may not like it one little bit. He will probably start trying to engage you in conversation after awhile. IGNORE HIM. Tell him you're busy. Focus on you.

You will know when he's genuine and really wants to reconcile. Make him work for it.

Secondly - if Mr Chuk moves on with his life and doesn't want to reconcile, you would have already started on your healing journey without him. As dtrh kept telling me "focus on you".

We are here for you chuk, you are in my prayers :-x

[chuk_77]

I'm sitting here bawling its all so real now, he has gone to celebrate "our" friends 40th. I'm not even invited, didn't know it was on til last night. His parting words to me were "don't cry" and kissed my head.
So now I loose him, my pets and my friends life cant get much worse than this.
I'm here making boxes to get my stuff together and he is out drinking.
Is there something wrong with this picture?
If I eat I vomit I know I have to but I cant. I'm only small anyway so I know I have to but what is the point when I just bring it back again, can't even eat chocolate
I just want to do something to make the pain stop.
through all the @@@ I've gone through in my life, it was my faith that kept me going, I don't even feel like I have that now. I feel deserted I keep being told this is all part of Gods plan but how can it be?
I just want it to stop

[cat_mioux]

chuk reach out to us. We are here for you. You can do this. It really is just about taking each minute, each hour as it comes, putting one foot in front of the other.

During the dark days for me I found I would make this involuntary moan/groan/sigh constantly. I also felt like throwing up and had constant diarrhea. It's incredible, the bodies reaction to trauma. But at the same time the healing is already starting. You may not think it is but everything you are feeling is a sign you are processing this new information.

You will be okay chuk. Let the shock of it pass through your body like the flu. It will get better.