Cat_mioux's new home

[cat_mioux]

:^O

[slaterama]

1. The purpose of life is to be happy. Not surface happiness but the deep indestructible happiness that comes from within. Every time I read that I think wow I have permission to be happy!

This is making me smile - big time. You absolutely have permission to be happy, and what's more, you absolutely deserve to be happy too. Think Dolly Parton's character in Steel Magnolias - "Laughter through tears is my favourite emotion".

Both of us know that you can feel a mix of incredible emotions all at once. And often they are conflicting emotions. But still, you sit with them and see them for what they are and live in that moment, for the next will be completely different.

You're allowed to feel joy when you are grieving, just like you are allowed to feel despair amid the happiest day of your life. That's what life is! :-x

[cat_mioux]

At our Buddhist meeting I met a new member and my teacher asked me to tell the new member what had been happening in my life for the last few months. As I said "oh my husband left me, found out he was having an affair, there is this website and we have started the OK'ers solidarity support thread, my dad passed away 2 weeks ago ..."

Her eyes widened in shock and she said "but you are laughing and smiling? You don't look sad? why?" 😮

The only explanation I had was that I was practising Buddhism and I trust everything that is happening is for a reason. And yes I've cried, I've raged, I've laughed .. all valid emotions. Just as you said Jill. :-x

[lobs211]

Miss Mioux

Can u check ur inbox please?? :-x

Sent u an email last week and u ignroing me X-( :_|


LOL

Thanks

[cat_mioux]

oops running now to check 😮

[cat_mioux]

UHM lobs 🙂

Sometimes my messages through ebay don't get through so if you don't get my reply just message me again with another email addy :-x

[the_great_she_elephant]

Hint of the day:
If the RE stuff things up and give you the s***s, just smile in a superior fashion and tell yourself it's proof of how well you are coping and how much better organised you are than all those donkeys.

[push_the_buttons]

That's why this thread is so good. 3 months ago I would have poo pooed everyone's positive comments towards me as I couldn't see the forest for the trees. I was still carrying a lot of bitterness and if anyone ever said that I was strong or to be admired I'd have cracked and said, I'm not strong.......I have no choice but to do what I'm doing. I'm in this situation because of his....and her/their choices."

But now I can see I did have a choice. I could have easily lay down and rotted. I WAS in that dark place where every minute of every day was an effort to get through. I did, on many occasions, sit curled up in a ball on my ensuite floor away from the kids and cry and cry and cry. I could have easily chose to lose everything. The kids, the house, our home..............

It wasn't until I recounted the sagas of this thread to a close friend that I realised infact that yes I am strong, coz I did have a choice and I chose the hard option. Hope that makes sense. I did chose to bump up my work days to make ends meet. I did chose to divorce his cheating arse. I did choose to take on the house and all the consequences of owning it...bills, maintenance, garden, upkeep....it's bloody endless, but it's mine.:8}

So to anyone that encouraged me I say thanks. And to cat for putting her misery out there for those of us who have been there done that and passed those markers she is now facing, I say thanks. To others who've posted their own tales of misery and how they've made lemonade ( or tequila shots;-))out of lemons, I say thanks. I love the whole Ok symbol and how even though we are far apart and alone, that we are united.

I'm sorry for your misery cat, but I hope you can see the positives it has inconsequently bought about with it and I even hope Nonads can find some positives out of it all too.

Cyn this post moved me to tears.

What a strong, generous spirit you are. Your journey speaks of the resilience we all have, but hope we never need draw upon.

A good friend of mine met the challenge of a cheating spouse about 4 years ago. It's been a roller coaster journey, but I get a such puffy heart for her...we were talking a few weeks ago and she said how pleased she is that he left, as the life she is living now is more than she ever imagined could have in relationship with him. Then she went on to say that she wishes him happiness in his life.

To me, that is real healing.

Many blessings ladies 🙂

[cat_mioux]

Hint of the day:
If the RE stuff things up and give you the s***s, just smile in a superior fashion and tell yourself it's proof of how well you are coping and how much better organised you are than all those donkeys.

ROFL! This is my mantra she-ele. Thanks! LOL

[cat_mioux]

What a strong, generous spirit you are (cynth). Your journey speaks of the resilience we all have, but hope we never need draw upon.

A good friend of mine met the challenge of a cheating spouse about 4 years ago. It's been a roller coaster journey, but I get a such puffy heart for her...we were talking a few weeks ago and she said how pleased she is that he left, as the life she is living now is more than she ever imagined could have in relationship with him. Then she went on to say that she wishes him happiness in his life.

To me, that is real healing.

Many blessings ladies 🙂

This is so inspiring. So many women who have been betrayed, and haven't been able to reconcile for various reasons, have said their life is so much better than they could have ever imagined.

And have healed so completely they are able to wish their 'wayward' partner happiness.

It gives me so much courage to hear RL stories like this.

[cynthecowgirl]

lyn, I am happy for your friend that she has reached that stage. Some days I am there, and others I am nowhere near there.

I can only described it like me being a sponge that has been dipped in water.
Sometimes I'm the soggy bits around the edge where I can see how happy I am now and be truly glad that he left and know with all my heart, with 100% certainty, that I no longer am in love with him nor want him back.
Other days I'm the dry crusty hard bits and I'll see or hear something about 'them'' that gets me angry and hurts or really posses me off. But at least when I have those days I'm able to stop my negative thoughts by asking myself....."why are you unhappy when you truly know that he's not what you want or need anymore?'" Then I'm happy again.

One day I hope to be a complete soggy sponge and then maybe when that day happens I can truly wish him happiness. In the mean time I have a bit more to absorb or take in before I get there.