Cat_mioux's new home

[cat_mioux]

:^O

[cynthecowgirl]

Well sorry girls, but here I go again.

Cat none of us should be telling you what to do, we don't have that right. It's your life. Like I said originally, if you decide to take him back and try again it's your choice. Just be aware, there are consequences.

When my hubby left to stay at his mums and figure out what it was he wanted to do re skank number one, unbeknown's to me, he slipped out half way through his stay and moved in with skank number 2.

Nobody said a word to me about it. I was desperate to have him back as I thought my life was incomplete without him. Then one day, by some small miracle, he came home to go to number 1 child ballet concert and stayed! He never spoke to me about it just hopped in our bed that night and slept next to me without uttering a word.

I of course was ecstatic. I had sunk into a deep depression over all the goings on, I lost at least 32kg in about 3 months. I was on antidepressants and sleeping tablets. I was an emotional wreck. All I knew was the one thing I had prayed and prayed for every night was finally happening and I had my hubby back...................but I didn't.

Every day was a living nightmare. He got up and went to work at 5am ( he normally opened the doors at 8.30am ) He didn't get home till well after 7pm. ( doors normally shut at 5.30pm ) He was going off to firebrigade meetings and turn outs and not getting home until all hours of the morning.....usually drunk. One night a 9pm call out saw him home at 5 in the morning, off his face. During some of these episodes he fell in our ensuite and broke the metal towel rack. One night he fell out of bed and spilt his head open on the bedside table. On 2 occasions he was so drunk he ever wet the bed. He made demands on me physically and I'd usually cave because I was so downtrodden and craving any sort of affection from him. He would be well over .05 most nights and still get up early the next day to drive customers cars to work. ( he'd often pick up their cars from our town and drive to the next town where our business was and bring them home that night after he'd worked on them) It was a nightmare. He grounded our daughter form riding her bike in the driveway without a helmet but drove his bike to firebrigade on night, got very drunk and was going to ride it home after midnight with no helmet, dark clothes and no lights! I was constantly second guessing his every move. Where was he, what was he doing, he's come home of his own accord but why isn't he still happy?

It was a nightmare. Every fibre of my being told me something wasn't right, but he lied, lied, lied to me and despite my mind screaming at me to run I stayed. I still trusted him.X-(

My my, you must all be reading this thinking what an idiot I am. Well you're right, I was. If idiocy was a school subject I'd be an honours student. My only consolation is knowing with all my heart that I tried. I gave above and beyond what any human should give.

Then, only through a twist of fate, did I find out about skank number 2 and how she'd been on the scene the whole time.....and my fight started again. As we all know I lost that battle too, but she is welcome to him. Thank God he walked out on me because I don't know how long I'd have gone before I snapped into some sense and kicked his sorry ar...se to the curb. Maybe I never would.

But this is where you come into it cat. If you take Nonads back just be prepared for those feelings. Be prepared to watch and analyse his every move, his every action. Be prepared to notice any teeny tiny change in his demeanour or routine. Be prepared to lie awake next to him knowing in your heart that maybe something isn't right, despite his reassurances that everything is fine. He may even be telling you the truth and if he is then good for you. I don't want to see people breaking up, it's too painful.

If that's the choice you make then I'm behind you 100%, but just be aware and make an informed decision because it won't be easy. If it all works out it'll be worth it, but as the poster said earlier you'll have him on a short leash and who wants to live like that?

I wish the best choices for you.

[freddie*rooster]

I think the fact Catty doesn't have children to nonads makes her decision to go it alone easier. When children are involved I think the fight to keep the relationship together for the children is heart breaking.

[thebraff]

Cyn, it is good that you can now see the bigger picture. How you must have been and still are hurting. Big hugs to you.

You have been able to come to the conclusion that your hubby was not doing you any good. You can move forward and put his behaviour behind you now. It will be hard because you have children and no doubt he is still a big part of their lives but you know you are better than what he has become so stand tall.

Freddie is right (even though she didn't like my feeble attempts at orange knickers for her X-() :-x it is a blessing that MsCat and MrNoNadsDrongoNat do't have children together.

Tomorow is the first OK day. When I was getting dressed this morning I placed my OK in pride ofplace in my drawer, ready for tomorrow. 😛

[krazy.kiwi]

Cat, I did offer to use my trailer to move you if you neeed. :-x

Would you like me to help move him out for you? ]:)

I don't think we have any plans next weekend.

[kyliecrv]

Cyn... Re post # 1321

Thank you for sharing your painful story, my heart aches for you and how you were treated.
WHat a total scumbag your husband is, you're so much better off without him, I hope you find real happiness soon. You deserve to be treated like a Princess, adored by your partner, and oneday you will hunni. ♥

[millerjblj]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/sunday-heraldsun/hanging-on-can-blind-us-to-opportunity/story-e6frf92o-1225890227517

[kyliecrv]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/sunday-heraldsun/hanging-on-can-blind-us-to-opportunity/story-e6frf92o-1225890227517

Great article!

[soul_art]

hello ms mioux 😄

well, as they say "what a difference a Day Makes" !!

It will be a good lesson for mrnonads to learn, I think, well, I hope he learns from this and he comes to see how his actions (cruel) have brought about re actions (deserved).

I know I am too soft at times but I really do hope he comes out of this with a better understanding of how to treat people.

As for you ms mioux, I know and can see that this episode of your life has great meaning for you. Not only do you now have a deeper understanding of others hurt, you as a person have seemed to blossom.

I guess that sounds a bit strange but although you are hurting, you're not letting the feelings of retaliation etc. consume you, instead you are filling your being with positivity, hope, love and strength.

I know there must be times you don't feel like that but believe me, your words and actions speak volumes. You have grown soooo much though everything that has been hurled at you, that, as sad as this breakup is, it must definatley be one of your lifes great moments of enlightenment.

Thinking of you and sending positive energy as always.:-x

[cat_mioux]

Good afternoon OK ladies :-x

Well ... nonads is in a grumpy mood so I'm off to shop for OK's and visit The Body Shop for some new perfume (using my Gift Card :-x ).

He is still applying for, in his words, "a dumpy smelly unit" in Melbourne. He said it as if it was my fault his life has turned to poop. :^O My best friend advised me NOT to ask him the 'hows' because I'd be helping him because it seems no one else he is talking to seems to be giving him sensible advice. But how can he apply for a unit without a job ..

Anyway, seems his sister has bailed him out. He said if he doesn't get the unit he'll stay at his sisters and his BIL has changed his mind and is now coming with the trailer. But everything he says sounds like nonsense i.e no sense.

I'm a practical and organised person and nonads 'wait and see and someone will rescue me and do the work for me' attitude frustrates me so much!

I'm chanting that he will be out on the 19th. I'm trusting he will go without any drama that will affect me.


cyn- You had to give it everything to salvage your marriage especially because you had kids together. Don't ever feel bad for doing that. When I confronted nonads with his affair I also told him I was willing to work on 'us'. He went away for the weekend to 'think' about it. I only asked him one thing. To not contact the skank during the weekend. He comes home 2 days later and I asked him if he contacted her and he replied he went to visit her! And he wasn't going to let her go.

Yeah I felt like an idiot but you know what? I can also end this relationship knowing I gave him every opportunity to fix it. So can you cyn . :-x

I will never want him back. NEVER! I have seen him for who he really is. I don't even like him any more as person.


PS Wonderful article by the way! I'm in the process of letting go and I do trust I will find a greater happiness than I ever knew I could have.

PS "Throw Your Arms Around Me" is one of my all time favourite songs! I love the DAAS version too. Heaven!




PS Thanks for the offer of helping nonads move out krazy ]:) :^O Wear big boots so you can kick his sofa down the driveway along with him.

[cat_mioux]

soul, thank you. :-x


I do still chant for nonads happiness. Not surface 'happiness' but enlightened happiness. The happiness that comes when we are no longer deluded or consumed with or influenced by our 'demons' i.e fundamental darkness/negativity.