"It’s the end of another huge day, and I’ve had enough. The bore was supposed to pumping fresh water a week ago, we’ve hot northerly winds, depleting feed, and the cattle are starting to show it.
"I’ve been slaving through this drought for just over a year and autopilot is failing me. I’m alone, it’s all too hard and it would be so easy to call it quits right now.
"I find myself at my ute where I grab my rifle. Loaded and cocked, I stand there looking at it in my hands, looking turns to staring, and staring turns to gazing.
"I’m bereft, broken. I can’t see. I’m lost.
"All that goes through my mind is, should I shoot the cattle first? I don’t want them to suffer without water when I’m gone. Or bugger it, none of it will matter anyway....
"I feel a tickle on my hand, that demanded I come to. I see Tilly, my Kelpie, licking my hand and wagging her tail, looking up at me with total adoration.
"And that’s what stopped me. Some love from my best little mate.
"I squinted hard, squeezing the tears from my eyes and unloaded my rifle, shaking myself back into some kind of reality. Frightened by how close I came to doing something so drastic. What about the people I’d leave behind? How clouded had I become? I needed clarity as much as I needed the rain.
"I’ve asked to keep this anonymous. I just want everyone to think, and start conversations. Is there someone in your community who works hard, often by themselves, they might keep away from social functions or are out of sorts?
"Well, make a point of seeing them this week, even if it’s just to say g’day and have a yarn.
"Droughts and all the stresses associated with farming are emotionally draining and we need to look out for everyone in our rural communities.”
from the Rural Leader
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