I freaked out :(

[lobs211]

No haters??? Just askin 🙂

I got a shock this weekend, Im pretty tough, been thru alot and come out of it and am ok.

This weekend I had to be introduced to this priest and nun ( a community thing) & I knew I had to & I thought it would be okay. The priest was fine but the nun freaked me out - took me straight back to 10 years old.

For 3 days (LOL) I was put in a Catholic school by Foster parents when I was 10. 2 different Nuns flogged me. I was used to bein hit but not by a white nun and not even really by a female. No one outta family anyway.

Only lasted 3 days and sent elsewhere.

Point is this was a LONG time ago and I had forgotten til Im standing in front of this nun and I just lost it, started shaking, was gonna cry, I think I had a panic attack.......... anyway this freaked me out, I grabbed my kids and left, even tho I was sposed to do some stuff, I just left & was crying in the car.

My question is - My God get over it, MUCH worse done to you for MUCH longer and you freak out over a little old woman............ next Thursday I sitting on a panel in front of people, guess who I sitting with???

At this point I thinking of taking off and not being here but then I think you crazy...... she harmless, it wasnt her, those 2 would be dead now................. this is freakin me out, should I take off?? Im scared of losing it sittin up there!

OMG - any thoughts?

[imastawka]

meep wrote:

Is it the habit that is freaking you out?  I didn't think many nuns wore them these days

I didn't think any wore them these days.

[lobs211]

She had normal clothes on but a scarf thing on her head, like a Muslim but not.... not covering her face, she had a skirt and top on and I kept staring at the cross on her necklace, not a black robe thing.............

I dont know what a Josephite nun is? She is from the big cathedral, I dunno what type??

I just had a freak out and I got 2 options the way I see it is to turn up next week or not................. No one can make me do anything apart from myself 🙂

Thanks

[**meep**]

At this point I thinking of taking off and not being here but then I think you crazy...... she harmless, it wasnt her, those 2 would be dead now................. this is freakin me out, should I take off?? Im scared of losing it sittin up there!

You've got it Lobs, it is not the nun you're afraid of, you are scared of freaking out.  That is what stops us from facing certain situations, the fear of having a panic attack.  All logic goes out the window while you're having an anxiety attack.   There are things you can do to prevent it, remember, the mind is a powerful thing.   Try thinking about something else, something funny. Imagine them all naked?  Maybe not, you could end up in hysterics.... Your CS friends will be thinking about you.  You won't be alone.  Maybe listen to your fav music before, to get you in a good frame of mind.   Once you get through the experience, you won't be afraid anymore.

What's the absolute worst that can happen?  Having a panic attack and walking out?  It happens to most of us at some stage.   Either way Lobs, you will be fine.

[kyliecrv]

No advice... just ♥

[cherry*135]

danger: I agree with the others. See if you can meet her informally in a coffee shop or something.

Would you consider doing that? You could get someone else to approach her  first and explain how you feel and why you want to meet her informally before the panel.

[the_great_she_elephant]

No one can make me do anything apart from myself

You've hit the nail on the head, Lobs. No-one can make you do it. It's something you will decide for yourself - and whatever you decide will be right for you.

I suspect though that in the end you will go. You are an amazingly strong person. I seem to remember a similar situation - I think it was when your aunt was in hospital - and you you were freking out and didn't think you'd be able to go and visit her; but of course in the end you did.  

[debra9275]

Hi Lobs

sometimes those sort of nightmarish things just stay with you, no matter how long ago they were. I think you should talk to the nun about your past experiences when you find the right moment & when you're ready to do it.