lol
A man called Brian
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by.
He got into the taxi and the cabbie said,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"
Passenger - "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that
to Brian every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won
the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like
an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should
have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order
and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me.
I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan,
he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he
never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and
make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was
in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes polished
too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could
ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his
ruddy widow."
Why did the cow win first prize?
Because she was out standing in her field.
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
