Love thy neighbour. How far should it go?

[kengillard]

I and 2 other neighbours have been made ....by default....  responsible for our neighbours health.  She's been sent home from hospital after 10 days, having spent a day and a night in the rain on the concrete outside her back door. After I found her, I called the ambulance who tried to get her to come with them....refused...police were called...  had her stomach drained of fluid.   Sent home on Friday last...had another fall on Saturday....went to see her this morning..she had another fall and ambulance took her to hospital again.

Because she's so stubborn and negative...72.....they can't help her unless she agrees....meanwhile they send her home to an empty house............cos she told them "my friend and my neighbours will look after me."    

It's ridiculous....we are not responsible for her welfare.  she has a son up north that she refuses to be notified as her next of kin. 

So that leaves us 3...should she come home again.  I'm  looking after her 2 dogs and others are feeding and watering her geese etc..

Surely there's some agency or other that can step in?   

Any suggestions anyone.  I don't mind helping but this is getting ridiculous.  How long does she have to lie out/in before someone finds her (prob me)...before anyone will do anything definite to save her from herself?

[buzzlightyearsgirlfriend]

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@kengillard wrote:

actaully she is an alcoholic....has cirrhosis of the liver/ that's why they've been draining her abdomen of fluid.  

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Bingo.

Try Facebook for the son or his kids and also the cops where he lives, she is their problem, if they want her to be. She ain't yours. 

You could also call the cops and get them to do a "welfare check" and make her their problem.

Don't you have your own family to take care of?

[cherry*135]

So next time the OP notices her elderly neighbour has been lying outside in the rain for more than 24 hours she just walks away and leaves her there to die? 

 Instead of calling an ambulance and going over to wait with her until it comes?

buzz - You could also call the cops and get them to do a "welfare check" and make her their problem.

I think that could be a good option in the near future. The police would contact next of kin even if she objected wouldn't they?

[kengillard]

I've been wel aware of her manipulate games for some time .....but she's still a human being who is depending on me....not through any fault of mine.  seems the hospital has a LOT to answer for.  sending her home with no support except her "friends and neighbours".  she has an unhealed wound in her stomach where she had the tap draining the fluid..has bed sores, and dressings on her elbows that need changing...not good enough I don't think. Went to visit her the day she came home Friday, and her slacks and t shirt were wet from the wound still leaking....????

[buzzlightyearsgirlfriend]

Alkys, you find them everywhere...

[kengillard]

Just had a phone call from her other Friend....ambulance is bring her home tonight!!!!!!bloody hell!! will go round tomorrow and be firm...about son etc. and tell her she can't really expect us to be responsible for her when she's so unwell.   sigh.  anyway. thanks folks..onwards and upwards.

[kennedia_nigricans]

you might need to have a word with the nurses/dr responsible for sending her home.

she told them that you would look after her, but at the same time privacy stops them from disclosing her relatives adresses to you.....

[kengillard]

.

anyway.  night to all my friends and others. xxxxx

[kengillard]

why do you think I'm asking for help on here ?   because i've asked nurses, doctors etc. etc. ad nauseum  no one will help.  anyway.  going to bed now.  had a big day for a 75 year old gerry.

[azureline**]

Hope you get it sorted Gill. It's a huge thing to be asked for help and have it expected of you but no one to contact ......I agree with the "call the police" and get them to find the son.

Have a nice night!

[amalan11]

Do you think she may be being so obstinate as she is worried long term about the animals ? im wondering if that is why she is so desperate not to get anyone in authority involved ,perhaps she feels they will be put down if she is not there for them .They may be all she has if she is not close to her son