Mental Illness Awareness and Support Thread

[bluecat*dancing]

Let;s see how we go.

[*pepe]

Purple it must be so hard for you.

i so hope that now you have a definite cause, its no longer and open finding for you, that once the initial shoch wears off you can finally start to heal a ittle.

[lind9650]

Yes, purple, like pepe said, I too hope that this will be the start to your healing. We will never forget, but the pain will lessen when we realise that we have to let them go to the peaceful place they have chosen to go to, and not hold them back by hanging on with our sorrow and grief.

Your Doctor is right. I am slowly finding out how my son planed it all long before he suicided.

He made a will, leaving his large life insurance to his three children. He left his new car to one son, his motorbike to another son and his Bank savings to his daughter, even inquired and made arrangements about his superannuation payout. He was divorced from the childrens mother for more than 20 years, but kept in constant contact with them. He was 52 years old when he made an end to his life.

Hugs, Erica

[bluecat*dancing]

I planned mine over a few months but in the end it was quite different and spontaneous.

[lind9650]

Bluecat,

Erica

[bluecat*dancing]

That's a good description, catmad*2014. I like the following excerpt from William Styron's book, "Darkness Visible".

“In depression this faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the foreknowledge that no remedy will come- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. If there is mild relief, one knows that it is only temporary; more pain will follow. It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul. So the decision-making of daily life involves not, as in normal affairs, shifting from one annoying situation to another less annoying- or from discomfort to relative comfort, or from boredom to activity- but moving from pain to pain. One does not abandon, even briefly, one’s bed of nails, but is attached to it wherever one goes. And this results in a striking experience- one which I have called, borrowing military terminology, the situation of the walking wounded. For in virtually any other serious sickness, a patient who felt similar devistation would by lying flat in bed, possibly sedated and hooked up to the tubes and wires of life-support systems, but at the very least in a posture of repose and in an isolated setting. His invalidism would be necessary, unquestioned and honorably attained. However, the sufferer from depression has no such option and therefore finds himself, like a walking casualty of war, thrust into the most intolerable social and family situations. There he must, despite the anguish devouring his brain, present a face approximating the one that is associated with ordinary events and companionship. He must try to utter small talk, and be responsive to questions, and knowingly nod and frown and, God help him, even smile. But it is a fierce trial attempting to speak a few simple words.”

[catsnknots]

I guess I am probably very different to most people here... I never had a suicidal thought. ever... I seriously knew that one day things would be better. Or if I didn't know, I at least had faith that it would be. Even now when I had my last meltdown all I did was cry for a few weeks and had a feeling of despair but I never had those thoughts. 

That makes me think that the idea of suicide may be more chemically related than just a depressive thought. Even that calm that apparently comes over people that take their own life and no one around could see it even when the person had a history of depression.....Many people get depressed and do not think of taking their own life and what makes them think differently has always fascinated me.... what is it?? 

PH, I hope your recovery can now be more complete. You may need to start all over again but I bet the process will be a lot more healing and there may even be some peace at the end of the process. 

I just want to note that I discuss this topic from a very analytical perspective.... it is what I do... It is how my mind works... but please let me know, preferably via a PM, if I say something too raw. I can then get my posts removed... I don't want to step on toes like I have before... I do not do it intentionally I just speak from the heart and althought I try to make sure they don't offend we all know that at times that does not work. 

[bluecat*dancing]

Different coping skills, perhaps, catmad*2014. You always knew that things would get better whereas I was positive that it wouldn't. You have a glass half full way of thinking whereas I had a glass half empty way of thinking. Its interesting , though, isn't it? Is it condtioning? Resillience? Chemical? Or just another symptom of an illness?

These days, I know that everything passes and that it is a matter of keeping safe until it does. The hypomania passes too quickly while the depression lingers for too long.

[bluecat*dancing]

I'm not too bad, thanks, PH. Feeling tired and lacking in motivation. I suspected that this would happen once the pain subsided .[ I had a tooth removed a week or so ago]. I have housework to catch up on and I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all. I'm sure that once I start, I'll be fine. Its just a matter of starting....

Perhaps the blocking out of Tim is your brain's way of coping? Perhaps now that you know the truth, your mind no longer needs to focus on him so intensely? Perhaps your brain is angry with him or is trying to go into a state of denial? Or, perhaps not. Whatever the reason, it must be a bit disconcerting PH. I'm positive that it won't always be this way and you'll be able to look at your son again. Perhaps, your brain needs to focus on grieving? So many perhapses. Why do you think this is happening?

[**meep**]

Hi everyone, have just caught up with the thread.  Huge hugs to all of you (((((()))))) 

I can relate to many of the experiences that have been shared here.   I have suffered from anxiety attacks for many years which resulted in agoraphobia.

Sandy, you asked if the anxiety attacks go away.   Yes, they can go away, with the right tools, they can be kept under control.

I can't stress enough how important it is to find the right help.  Unfortunately, for some reason, the doctors could not point me in the right direction.  I did my own research and found an Anxiety Clinic attached to my local hospital.  I attended group therapy sessions and it was a life saver!!   If your dil could find such a clinic in her area, I believe she will really benefit from it.  (i could assist you with finding one if you like)

Also if you like and if anyone else is interested  I could post here what I have learnt about managing panic attacks.  Maybe if anyone has any specific questions?

I noticed PH mentioned the rubber band on wrist.  That is one of the methods that I learnt at the Clinic.   The idea behind it is that the action of 'snapping' the band is supposed to snap us back into reality.   We were asked to come up with a phrase such as "There is nothing wrong me, its the Anxiety that is making me feel this way".  When I felt an anxiety attack coming on, I would snap the band and say those words.

Deep relaxation, imagery and breathing exercises can also make a big difference.  I have a CD titled Letting Go Of Anxiety by Sarah Edelman.  She is a uni lecturer, trainer and psychologist on cognitive behaviour therapy (lovely lady whom i have met through work)  I highly recommend the CD.  

Learning to breathe a certain way can and does actually stop panic attacks.  Takes some practice but it has now become second nature.   I can post information about that as well.

Challenging your thoughts is also a very powerful tool. 

Sounds like a lot of work but its achievable.

[the_great_she_elephant]

PH, I am not a cunsellor or psychologist, so please bear with me if I am way off beam here, but after reading your recent posts it has occurred to me that maybe there is a question you need to ask yourself that might throw some light  on why you cannot think of Tim or look at his photo at the moment.

.

When Tim was constantly on your mind, did thinking of him and looking at his photos give you peace and  comfort? Did it recall happy memories for you,  or did it only remind you painfully of what you had lost? 

As I said, this may be totally irrelevant, use it if it helps, ignore it if t doesn't and  please don't feel obliged to post an  answer or even acknowledge this post.